The Miracle Suit

April 1, 2020 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Susan Dollyhigh –

Ever needed a miracle like… now?  My son called to say his wedding, postponed the previous summer, would take place in one month. Anticipating the first wedding date, I’d bought a dress that fit perfectly.

I hung up the phone and dropped my head into my hands.

How will I ever lose the fifteen pounds I’ve gained since summer?

I began working out and counting every calorie. Holding my stomach in, I got into the dress without bursting any seams.

Maybe another day without food and I’d look just right.

However, when time neared for the big event, a vision flashed before my eyes of the groom’s mother waddling down the aisle in a beautiful, lavender dress with bulges everywhere; around her waist, around her hips, and around her thighs.

I dashed to the mall in search of the perfect slimming garment, and spotted a sign boldly proclaiming Miracle Suits. I snatched that garment from the rack and practically danced my way into the fitting room. I pulled, tugged and stuffed myself into the suit. My now-bulging eyes told me I was enhanced, slenderized, and shaped as the label claimed.

So I bought the suit, returned home, and removed my purchase from the bag.  My family stopped what they were doing as their mouths fell open. They agreed I could not wear that suit of armor under my elegant dress. I realized the only thing slenderized was my brain.

Sanity returned to my panicked mind and I returned that miracle suit to the mall. The day of the wedding, I put on my dress and found that those huge bulges I’d imagined existed only in my panic mode.

Later I was able to laugh about the suit of armor I’d almost worn to my son’s wedding, but I also realized that many times I react the same way in a perceived crisis. I take the problem to God in prayer and then, rush out to try to fix it myself.

I’ve learned with a little discipline; physical, mental and spiritual, and putting on the armor of God daily, I don’t get myself into situations where I have to struggle with pleading to God for a miracle.

PRAYER:  Father, thank You for the privilege of being able to bring all my requests, big and small, to You. Thank You for Your Spirit that gives me power, love, and self-discipline.

BIBLE VERSE: “For the Spirit God gives us power, love and self-discipline” (II Timothy 1:7 NIV).

Twitterland

March 21, 2020 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Elaine James –

I have been wondering what @ means before your Twitter name. After Googling Twitter language, I discovered that it precedes your handle or Twitter name/user name, kind of like the days of CB radio.

The pound sign (#) in Twitterland is referred to as a hashtag. It is used in front of a topic which people are discussing. An example of this is: Going skydiving #noregretssummer2011. Twitter search results for “#noregretssummer2011 can be seen by those looking at the same topic.

Twitterland is where you can find the latest things in the news, whether good or bad.

Talking in code and creating cute sayings have become an art today. To many people this can be fun and rather addictive in a race to see who is going to create the new hashtag and if it will go viral?

Imagine Twitter between King David, who had an affair with Bathsheba, and Nathan the prophet.(The name in parenthesis identifies who is “speaking.”)

(@nathantheprophet) visiting @kingdavid telling him a #sadstory about a #badguy
(@kingdavid) whoever the #badguy in the story is, must die. #burningwithanger
(@nathantheprophet) that man is @kingdavid #truestory
(@kingdavid) worst day ever, I have sinned against the Lord  #cantsleep.
(@nathantheprophet)  @kingdavid the Lord has taken away ur sin. U R not going to die. #goodnews  #mercifulGod.
(@kingdavid) #repenting #hardthingtodo #sosorry

Restoring our relationship with God when we have done something wrong takes time and sometimes there are consequences. David’s consequence was that Bathsheba became pregnant and the baby died.

Do you know a person who did something wrong? Could this person be you? Perhaps you or this person has a good heart, but made a mistake. David did something wrong, yet God still loved him and chose his descendents to be in Jesus’ bloodline. God never gives up us. When someone genuinely has a good heart, but screws up anyway, we should give them another chance. We should all be in awe of God’s forgiving merciful heart.

I am in awe of God’s amazing character.

Twitter only allows you to write 140 letters in a message. Thankfully, when we talk to God we can use unlimited words.

Should you enter Twitterland? If you choose to tweet, you will find a whole new world of chatting, updating, networking, laughing, crying and being distracted. More people are entering Twitterland and leaving the texting world. #keepingupwiththetimes @elainejames123

PRAYER:  Lord, thank You for Your incredible, merciful heart. I need more of Your heart.

BIBLE VERSE: “When David’s time to die approached, he charged his son Solomon, saying, ‘I’m about to go the way of all the earth, but you—be strong; show what you’re made of! Do what God tells you. Walk in the paths he shows you: Follow the life-map absolutely, keep an eye out for the signposts, his course for life set out in the revelation to Moses; then you’ll get on well in whatever you do and wherever you go’” (1 Kings 1:2 MSG).

Down and Out, Check it Out

March 11, 2020 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Hally Franz –

Have you had an occasion to “fall out” lately? If you recently “fell out,” that means you’ve experienced uproarious laughter in response to some joke, event or other humorous stimulus. My father regularly fell out. Dad’s been in his eternal home for over eight years now, and some memories have become foggy, as they do over time. However, I will always remember vividly my father’s laughter.

It was the kind of leg-slapping, red-faced, body-shaking laughter that caused observers to be tickled even with no idea what provoked it. It often started out in loud cackles, which gradually turned into silent convulsing hilarity. Sometimes, the laughter slowed like it was ending, only to erupt again. It was a glorious site. Who wouldn’t want to know the joke that caused such a response?

Have you fallen down? I am notoriously clumsy, experiencing numerous notable falls in my lifetime. I remember one particular incident as a teenager. I was a band kid with good grades, great friends, middle-class parents and an average social life. If I were a profiler, that’s the band kid profile. I played a most graceful instrument—the trombone. One morning, as I ran to catch the bus with my arms full of books and my trombone in hand, I wiped out just as I neared the bus steps. My instrument went beneath the bus, and my books scattered.

Fast forward some years, and there was a fall on ice when I was seven months pregnant. That might explain—well, never mind. Only days ago, a faulty flip-flop and a terribly treacherous border where concrete transitioned to grass were enough to send me down once more. This fall happened after school, so several other parents rushed to help me and grab tissues for my bloody nose. All is fine; I’ve learned to bounce a bit over the years.

When someone falls out, we want to know why. We want to know what we’re missing, so we boldly ask. And, when someone falls down, we rush to their aide. We ask how they are and what we can do. So, when fellow believers fall out of step or stumble in their faith, why don’t we rush to see what’s happening? Why don’t we boldly seek answers and offer help immediately? Next time we find someone down or out, let’s rush in with a listening ear and some Christian first-aid. And, let’s help get them back on track.

PRAYER: Gracious God, move me to respond to the spiritual needs of those around me, boldly offering help and humbly accepting the opportunity to give it.

BIBLE VERSE: “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18 NIV).

Nurture, with Neglect

March 2, 2020 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Robin J. Steinweg –

I had no idea I could actually kill with kindness.

See, I have this thing for blue flowers. Not the bluish-tinted purple color that the seed companies name, as if they really are blue. I prefer the honest-to-goodness, true blue flowers, like a summer sky. Heavenly Blue Morning Glories are just that kind of blue. I’ve tried, off and on ,to grow them from seed, but they’ve never gotten large enough to produce blooms.

This year, the local hardware store had some that were vigorous, already climbing up a skinny stake. I carefully brought one home, surrounded by shopping bags, so it wouldn’t tip over. I gave it the best soil. I rejoiced when it resumed its ascent. I babied it, plucked every threatening weed, and fed it regularly.

That was early June. Now it’s September, and you should see it—twelve feet tall; lush, thick leaves that could screen celebrities from paparazzi—but still, nary a bud nor a bloom.

Experienced gardeners shake their heads, already aware of the problem. I finally looked it up online: Why aren’t my morning glories blooming? What did I neglect?

Neglect!

For Morning Glories to produce bodacious, blue blooms, they require poor soil—harsh conditions. Instead, I coddled them with fertilizer the entire summer, denying them what I never imagined they needed.

My heavenly Father, Master Gardener, knows when to feed one of His tender shoots, when to protect it and when to give it a support to climb. He knows that a certain amount of hardship—what could be viewed as neglect, at times—will make His precious vine fulfill its purpose and flower freely.

PRAYER: Lord, the next time I face hardship, help me to remember that Your love for me is unfailing. You know exactly what I need in order to bloom and to bear the fruit of Your Spirit. Help me to be patient and trust You. In the name of Jesus I ask it.

BIBLE VERSE: “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors” (James 1:2-3, The Message).

 

The Sugar-Coated Wiggles

February 22, 2020 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Donna McCrary –

Since when is “wiggle” a politically correct word? Apparently I missed the mom memo from my children’s dentist. Don’t get me wrong “tooth extraction” is not exactly the phrase I am advocating. However, when I was a child you “pulled” your teeth. We used this phrase because that is what you did. I don’t remember tooth-pulling being a traumatic event in my childhood. Tooth-pulling was often a family affair filled with nagging siblings, plier-holding grandmothers, and creative ways to incorporate tools, dental floss, and slamming doors. In fact, my sweet, dainty, 100-pound grandmother would often jokingly grab the pliers and try to coerce me into letting her “yank” the dangling tooth.

As I left the dentist office, part of me was laughing but a deeper part of me was saddened. Are we really at point in society where sugar coating the truth is the standard? When my child asked point blank, “Will it hurt? Do I have to get a shot?” The truth was hidden somewhere in the words, “Don’t worry we will make you as comfortable as possible. You won’t feel much more than a little wiggle!” Don’t get me wrong I appreciate the staff offering comfort to my daughter, but how damaging is the truth expressed as truth?

With the festivities of fall approaching, how are we sugarcoating the truth? The truth – hell is real. The truth – Satan, also named the Devil, Lucifer and the Father of Lies, is real. The truth – Satan is not running around dressed in red tights, sparkling horns and carrying a pitch fork. This is the sugar coated version and to some it tastes better. It is hard to take seriously red tights and plastic pitch forks. The truth – “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8 NIV). The truth – hell is a place of torment (Luke 16:23 NIV). The truth – All who do evil and are separated from Jesus will be thrown “into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 13:41-42 NIV).

Let’s stop sugar coating the truth. Satan and Hell are real! All those who do not accept the saving grace of Jesus Christ will experience hell –an eternity of torment and pain. Not wiggles!

PRAYER: Father, help me see, hear and share Your truth with boldness. Open my eyes to the ways I sugar-coat the reality of hell. Instill in me a deep desire to take a stand for Your Word and share Your son Jesus Christ to those around me with diligence and passion so their eternal reality is heaven.

BIBLE VERSE: “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor death, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:37-39 NIV).

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