Killer Carpet

July 25, 2021 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Janet Morris Grimes –

“Here. I will lift up this bunk bed, and you unroll the carpet underneath.” I knew when I uttered those words that our method would never work, but there were only the two of us, and it had to be done.

My oldest daughter and I were in the process of helping my youngest daughter move into her dorm for her first semester of college. The furniture was already in place. Even the clothes in the drawers. But we discovered the well-hidden truck that sold rolls of carpet nearby, and decided that carpet was what the room lacked.

The problem, first and foremost, was that the smallest roll of carpet was still too large for the room. Secondly, the brand new furniture was rather heavy. But perhaps because we were a bit loopy from too many trips up the stairs and the late night packing party from the previous night, we were determined to make it work.

In a perfect world, the room would be empty, then the carpet installed, then the furniture placed on top of it. But we weren’t in a perfect world. We were in a dorm room with pre-existing furniture and the hallways too crowded with others moving in to move anything out there.

So, with a borrowed box cutter, we started the process and quickly proved that we had no carpeting experience. It was too heavy to push or pull more than an inch at a time, and ripped out the majority of our fingernails within the first couple of minutes. Thankfully, the left-behind nail particles blended in with the carpet, so we moved on.

There was no place to put the drawers but on the bunk beds, making them even heavier. Inch by inch, we scooted the carpet underneath and cut around the odd shaped column that protruded from the wall. We nearly severed an arm at the elbow, ripped a shirt, and laughed until we cried, but soon, the floor was mostly covered and the crooked parts remained hidden.

Mission accomplished. Until we tried to open the closet door.

Only then did we discover that the carpet was too thick. The door and the floor could not coexist peacefully with the carpet in between them.

So, out came the box cutter and we cut a huge square out in a spot that could never be hidden.

And our shoddy work is now obvious to everyone who enters.

There is something to be said for doing things in the proper order with careful planning in advance. Those who choose to do otherwise pay the consequences.

Lesson learned and still recovering.

Oh I Wish…

July 16, 2021 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

Rosemary Flaaten –

Have you ever found yourself wishing you had the life of the rich and famous? Whether it’s the free wheeling love life with the newest most beautiful person or the gluttonous lifestyle that enjoys the pleasures of the moment without concern for any long term consequences. Although I cognitively know that their lifestyle choices will end in harm, I find my heart wandering toward envy of their sinful ways. Immediate gratification—whether its excess amounts of fine wine and rich foods, buying the latest gadget or stealing a look at a pornographic image—provides on-the-spot enjoyment. Throw out self-control, caution and denial. Eat, drink and love for who knows what tomorrow will hold.

“Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord for there is surely a future hope for you” (Proverbs 23:17) This proverb breaks down in three parts – present, past and future.

The present is the “good times” we see around us and in our interior world we wish we could be free of restraint. Our longing for independence, which we inherited from Adam and Eve, causes us to pursue self-indulgence.

The second part of this proverb is regarding the past. Our ability to fear the Lord develops as we ponder God’s character and take stock of all He has done for us. The awe that develops comes out of the history we have with Him.

The third part of the proverb peers into the future. Hope is directed toward something we do not yet have. Our present envy comes from a lack of retention about God’s goodness and thus our hope is thwarted. We wrongly believe that we must have our desires for pleasure met now or the opportunity will be missed and no more will come our way. But pondering God’s track record will help us to postpone immediate gratification with second rate options and instead wait for the top-notch gifts from His hand.

PRAYER: Lord, help me to believe in the core of my being that Your way is truly life-giving and that the path of sin leads to destruction.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:12 – 13 NIV).

From Grumble to Thankfulness in 10 Minutes Or Less

July 12, 2021 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Michelle Lim –

Did you ever wake up on the wrong side of the chaos scale? You know, those days when everything explodes and your world is a debris field of catastrophe?

As a mom of four I find myself waking up on the wrong side of the chaos scale way too often. We miss the bus, forget lunches, have a pet on the loose, a volcanic eruption of laundry, a landslide of dishes in the sink and a cranky disposition or two. All before nine in the morning.

On one such brilliant morning a verse in my devotions challenged me to give thanks even though my day made chaos look tame.

In First Thessalonians 5:18 Paul says, “Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (NIV)

My first response to that verse was “Do I have to?” Then I realized how much that sounded like one of my kids when they are asked to do a chore. I needed to be more grown up than that.

Naturally my next thought led me to the whole argument that God would understand my grumbling. After all, I’d started the day with a science experiment in my breakfast cereal.

I read the verse again. All circumstances? Gulp.

Paul wrote this to the new believers in Thessalonica who needed direction for living a godly life. Reality check. This book addressed the church who suffered persecution, imprisonment, and even death for their faith.

If it was God’s will for them to give thanks when they were beaten for their faith, I should be able to handle a beetle in my Cheerios.

PRAYER: Lord, thank You for all You have given me, the freedom to worship You with abandon, the blessing of my family, the strength to face each day’s challenges. Help me to be thankful in all circumstances, even when things aren’t going the way I’d planned. You are still amazing and worthy of my praise.

“Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you, in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV).

“What Am I…”

June 27, 2021 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Elaine James –

“Chopped liver?” my husband questioned as I continued to feed dinner to a group of my teen daughter’s friends. My husband asked “Do you know what chopped liver is?” The girls all replied “Gross!”

Before I knew it I had given all the food away and there was none left for my husband. He was planning to eat before he left, but instead, he had to leave feeling disgruntled. I have to admit we laughed and ignored him. But I soon started to feel guilty, asking myself “What did you just do?”
I was out of order.

When I was a little girl my dad had this piece of paper in his wallet. On it he wrote:
1. God
2. Wife
3. Children
4. Work

After being in his wallet for years it was so dilapidated. According to Matthew 6:33 “Seek first the kingdom of heaven and his righteousness and all shall be added to you” (NIV). Funny how the Spirit of God can remind us of all I’m writing about in a flash. I am thankful for the Spirit because I really believe in this order and want to please God. The only way to rid myself of this yucky feeling was to ask God to forgive me.

Later I looked up on Wikipedia the phrase “What am I chopped liver?” It expresses that chopped liver traditionally is served as a side dish rather than a main course; therefore the phrase may have originally meant to express a feeling of being overlooked, as a “side dish.”

I’m wondering if God watches us asking that same thing at times. I won’t even eat chopped liver let alone want to treat someone like it!

What or who have you put first in your life over God? A boyfriend, friends, work, awards or dreams can all become American Idols. What steps can you take this week to put God first?

PRAYER: Father in Heaven, things have been out of order. Forgive me for_______________. Renew my Spirit with the desire to spend time with You first. Thank You for the help.

I Don’t Want FRA!

June 17, 2021 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Janet Morris Grimes –

She walked her daughter gingerly into the school for her first day of Kindergarten. Other students dwarfed the tiny girl, and her new school uniform was bigger than she was. Her eyes widened as she took in all that surrounded her. Brightly colored letters splashed across the walls, more intimidating than welcoming, as they announced things she could not yet understand.

The teacher knelt to meet her face to face. She seemed friendly enough, but the girl buried herself into the legs of her mother. She attempted to climb up her mother. To squeeze tighter. To somehow regain the life that she felt slipping from her fingers.

How had she gotten here? Just yesterday, her days were filled with playtime with her baby sister, splashing in the backyard pool, or riding her bicycle. Popsicles dripping down her chin after lunch, staying up late and sleeping as late as possible. Just yesterday, her home was the center of her universe.

Each day, the same scene played itself out. Tears, sobs, and unanswered questions. Why did it all have to change? What happened to the way things used to be?

Every day, as she put on her uniform, she cried all the way to school, saying over and over again. “I don’t want FRA! I don’t want FRA!”

A dear friend shared this story with me about her daughter’s first week of Kindergarten. It took them most of the week to figure out what she was saying. And why.

FRA, as it turned out, stood for Franklin Road Academy, the name of the private school where she attended. Those initials were on the sign in the front, on the uniform shirt that she wore each day, and on the shirts of her classmates.

She didn’t even know what to call it. Her unexpected surroundings. And though she couldn’t read, she was smart enough to know what those letters said. And to know that she wanted no part of it. Whatever FRA stood for, she wanted out.

I fully understand how she feels. There are many times when my surroundings were changed without notice. My life shifted to a completely new direction, without my permission.

There are many days I feel like screaming, “I don’t want FRA!” Whatever this is, even if I don’t know what to call it, I want no part of it. I want everything to go back to the way it used to be.

The good news is that Jesus is already there, in the midst of our FRA’s. He makes a way for us. He is never surprised by our circumstances. When we face them, and it’s all that we can do to cling to him and cry, he is there.

This beautiful girl went on to adore her Kindergarten experience. As a matter of fact, she thrived.

Jesus wants the same for us. And He knows us well enough to know that it may be our unpleasant and unexpected circumstances that cause us to reach out to Him.

“You hem me in, behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me” (Psalm 139:5 NIV).

Next Page »