Funny Feet

February 20, 2024 by  
Filed under Humorous

I have funny feet. They are short and plump with stubby little toes that curl. In fact, when I married, my husband would tell people how cute he thought my feet were. Cute or not, they are my Dad's feet. He had the same kind of feet, but it was not a problem for him—being a man. I, on the other hand, have always had problems making my feet look lady-like. No matter what I do they look short and stubby.
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Wrinkle Release Spray

February 9, 2024 by  
Filed under Humorous

"Try XYX Wrinkle Release Spray–it works!" The announcer goes on to tout the benefits of using the spray on all of our wrinkles. Then I realize he isn't talking about clothing, but SKIN!

In my dreams. There are concoctions and creams and scrubs and masks and even botox. When human beings willingly have botulism injected into their skin to erase wrinkles, we know wrinkle removal is a BIG DEAL. Youthful looks seem to make a difference in how you get ahead in life. It is so important that companies have invested in all manner of youth serums-it is BIG BUSINESS.
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Calling the Roll

December 28, 2021 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Hally Franz –

My children are members of Spring Branch Helping Hands 4-H Club, which formed when some families left the very large club, Spring Creek Lively Steppers. Both groups include kids with busy appendages and busy moms. As the current club leader, I write the monthly agendas, which include the roll call portion of the meeting. At each meeting, a truly thought-provoking question is posed to the young people. Their responses to the question verify their attendance.

Example questions include:
“What’s the scariest movie you have seen?” (October)
“Name a spring bird.” (April)
“What’s your favorite event at the county fair?” (July)

During our November meeting, kids were asked to name their favorite Thanksgiving food. My kindergarten nephew responded “beef – hot beef” with notable male enthusiasm. While his grandparents are cattle people, our Thanksgiving feast includes more foul than red meat.

There are usually a few “huh’s” or “whaaat’s” as we work through the list. These individuals have not paid attention to the assignment and need the question repeated for them specifically. A few members will simply say “here” indicating they choose not to participate. Others, sometimes even those with “W” names, are still pondering the question and require a few extra moments before answering. No problem – there are only 53 members in our group! A few of the younger, lively, helpful children go mute when their names are called, so their parents will account for them. Finally, there are the stars who consistently have appropriate, ready responses when their names are called. God love them!

Last night, we sang “When the Roll is Called Up Yonder.” I wondered about what questions will be posed for us at our Heavenly reunion. Will the Almighty ask me my favorite Bible verse or that I name one of Jesus’s miracles? Will it be something easy or a head-scratcher as I enter the gates?

And, what of my response to Him? Surely, I won’t appear clueless or oblivious, but rather attentive and engaged. I hope to be prepared, so as not to keep Him waiting, and I would wish to be humble, but not speechless. No attention-seeking silliness or comedic answers will do. I’d like to have a stellar response.

Perhaps, I should just hope that our Heavenly Father is less judgmental and more patient than any busy 4-H mom!

PRAYER: Heavenly Father, help me to be prepared for that awesome meeting with You that awaits me, and all my brothers and sisters in Christ.

“For Ezra had devoted himself to the study and observance of the Law of the LORD, and to teaching its decrees and laws in Israel” (Ezra 7:10 NIV).

Super Bowl 2013

December 19, 2021 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Elaine James –

This is it! Huddle up! The biggest sports event viewed in the year. All the tailgating, home, bars and restaurant parties are in full planning mode. Everyone excited and rooting for their team.

All this hype! It is incredible what time is put into the biggest sporting event of the year.

The New Year is in full swing with each of us making resolutions, goals, dreams, projecting and forecasting for the year.

My mind (emphasis added) shifts to the last days of Jesus life. The disciples were unsure of Jesus’ last play! The Super Bowl can be likened to the Last Supper. Jesus worked hard to get there. With the same passion as a NFL player, Jesus is at the top of His game. How far would a player go to win the game? To win, Jesus went as far as His death on the cross.

In this New Year I look for things that I can tackle so I can be in control. How can I get my head in the game (pun intended) of life for this New Year? Let’s huddle together, call out the play and move out to our positions.

Where is your position? Right here, right now, what is your game plan? Where is your play book (the Bible)? Are you looking at the plays from a distance, saying “Yea, yea, I’ll get to it and read it?” But you never quite find the time.

I liken this New Year to this epic football game. I have to laugh! My friend kiddingly says his motto is “Football, the greatest game ever!”

My own motto for Jesus is this: “The cross, the greatest act of love ever!” It’s true. For God so loved you, He gave His life.

Many give back to the game by going to the games, rooting for their favorite players or buying all the merchandise. The fans have overwhelming passion as they cheer “We have to win.” I’ve even heard many fans yell “I LOVE THIS GAME!”

In the New Year ask yourself “Are you willing to love Jesus back?” Shout for joy “I love you Jesus!” May God bless our stadiums (churches) with a great cheering section for 2013.

“Bravo, GOD, Bravo! Everyone join in the great shout: Encore! In awe before the beauty, in awe before the might” (Psalm 96:7 MSG).

“Once and For All”

December 9, 2021 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Elaine James –

“-we will find out who rules the land!” shouted out Matthew Perry in his new sitcom called Go On. Matthew Perry’s character Ryan King, a supposedly famous sportscaster, is in a small therapy group where he is trying to deal with the death of his wife. He decides to take over the group, stating, “Be honest when you sit here listening to someone else’s problems, you may smile and nod but a big part of you is thinking ‘My thing is worse than your thing. Am I right?’” They all nod in agreement.

With that reality in mind, Ryan calls their challenge March Sadness and he creates a competition. He blurts out, “We’re all going to go head to head. You have five seconds to tell your sob stories. Winners advance. We go a couple of rounds and we know once and for all who rules the land.”

The New Year was just celebrated and life will go on. But how do we go on? Another year of…(name your complaint.) There are many tragic “sob stories” in the Bible. One caught my eye as an example of how we can learn to “go on.”

King Nebuchadnezzar obtained high status and power as a king. He saw Daniel’s God rescue Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego from the fiery furnace, but the truth of how great their God is faded and he continued to rule the land.

He commissioned Daniel to interpret a dream. Daniel interpreted it this way: “The command to leave the stump of the tree with its roots means that your kingdom will be restored to you when you acknowledge that Heaven rules.” It took Nebuchadnezzar seven years to acknowledge “Heaven Rules.”

In the television series Go On, Ryan tries to make light of life disasters by awarding a person as ruler of the land if they can prove their problems were the worst, but offers no solution on how to actually ‘Go On.’

No one likes pain. To go on, Nebuchadnezzar had to acknowledge that Heaven does indeed rule. The popular sitcom hits on the funny parody of life struggles. This was truly worth the laugh.

But the truth is that ‘Going On’ requires Jesus.

PRAYER: Father I have some sob stories. I want to go on and get past the pain and live as You ask me to live. You ask me to “Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice.” Help me to get back to You and be grateful in all things. In Jesus name I pray.

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