Self-Destruct Burgers
December 18, 2020 by Peter Lundell
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous
By Peter Lundell –
Recently a man suffered a heart attack while eating in a restaurant called—and I’m not making this up—“Heart Attack Grill.” No surprise that it can be found in Las Vegas.
The man was eating a “Triple Bypass Burger,” not to be confused with the even larger “Quadruple Bypass Burger.” People actually eat these burgers with three and four huge meat patties each. The slogan of this place is, “Taste Worth Dying For.”
Their front doors have big signs that say, “Caution! This establishment is bad for your health.” And they really bring in the customers. The owner of the place, whom they call “Doc,” wears a doctor’s white coat with a stethoscope around his neck. And the waitresses, whom they call “nurses,” are dressed like sexy nurses. Customers can even wear patients’ hospital gowns while they eat. If you weigh more than 350 pounds, you eat for free.
When the guy had his cardiac arrest, others thought it was a publicity stunt and snapped photos. The man is reportedly recovering, thankfully.
This place gives a new level of meaning to the idea of destroying yourself.
What drives us to self-destruction? Beyond the Heart Attack Grill, there’s smoking, drinking, drugs, or any addiction. Or how about socially accepted habits like chugging soda, eating unhealthy foods full of fat, sugar, and chemicals, then wallowing for hours in front of the T.V. Some self-destructive habits are less noticeable, like overworking and overspending.
If I’ve made you mad, well, sorry.
If we have a grasp of how our bodies are living temples of God’s Holy Spirit, or if we have a vision for a purposeful reason to live, we’ll tend to take good care of our bodies.
What are your self-destructive tendencies?
And what vision or reason to live leads you to care of yourself?
PRAYER: Lord, I am a living, walking temple of Your Spirit. And in You I have a reason to live and worship You and bless others in Your name. Lead me to honor You by taking good care of myself through all the days I live to serve You.
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Cor. 6:19-20, NIV).
Counterfeit Cheeseburgers
December 6, 2020 by Robin Steinweg
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous
By Robin J. Steinweg –
I served uncooked cheeseburgers to my students. Don’t panic—the bun was two vanilla wafers brushed with light corn syrup and sprinkled with sesame seeds. The meat was a chocolate mint cookie. Red and yellow frosting looked like ketchup and cheese. I added lettuce: green-colored coconut flakes. The burgers turned out a little smaller (and rounder!) than White Castle burgers. If I’d photographed one on a doll’s tea plate, it would’ve looked just like the real thing. But if I were to write up a nutrition chart for it, it would be sadly lacking in the minimum daily requirements for anything at all.
Sure, it would taste good and give me a sugar high, but in the end it would let me down. Hard.
This world offers advice that looks appealing, feels good or has an appearance of truth—but the truth is, it can be as empty as sugar calories. But it looks so real; how can we tell the difference?
If you’ve ever eaten a real cheeseburger, you’d know the moment you saw my candy version that there’s no meat. That’s the trick: get to know the genuine article, and immediately you’ll recognize the fake. And if you’re inexperienced, you’d know it as soon as you tasted it.
Study the Bible and when an untruth pops up, you’ll see it for what it is.
PRAYER: Lord, I ask You to help me to become so familiar with Your voice and Your ways that I recognize instantly anything that is not from You. Thank You.
“Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. For there are many false prophets in the world” (1 John 4:1 NLT).
Hungry for Something Chocolate
November 19, 2020 by Jarrod Spencer
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous
By Jarrod Spencer –
On occasion, my schedule will allow me to take my four-year-old to work with me for a couple of hours. These occasions will generally be in the morning before lunch during weeks which I am ahead of schedule. During one of those “ahead of schedule” weeks, I was completing my preparation for a new sermon series by placing a compilation consisting of 30 pieces of paper, tiled to make one big picture, on the wall in the auditorium.
While I worked, I set up a movie for my son to watch in one of the classrooms at our church. During that time, he made several trips to my office to tell me about something that just happened, to play with something in my office, or just ask for some M&Ms I have on my desk.
It was nearing lunch time and he came to me in the auditorium. He asked for some M&Ms. But nearing lunchtime, I said “no.”
He responded, “I really want some, I’m hungry for something chocolate.”
His sincerity and vocabulary made me laugh.
Upon reflection, I considered that when we are hungry for or craving something, we know it will really hit the spot to eat that item. Maybe it is food or something you drink. Either way, we simply anticipate the moment that we receive it so that moment can be savored.
That same day, we were expecting our new “single cup coffee maker.” It was a name-brand and I could not wait to try the coffee. Once I did, it really lived up to its branding, and I looked forward to the next cup.
The same is true for God. When we experience special moments with Him, we crave similar moments. We look forward to the next encounter. As my son had experienced the good taste of chocolate and wanted more, so we should want more of God once we experience Him and His goodness.
PRAYER: Father, thank You for being so tasty that I simply crave You. You are an amazing God and please use me to Your glory as I continue to look forward to our next encounter to help people know more about You.
“Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him” (Psalm 34:8 NIV)
Turbo Teaching
November 10, 2020 by Hally Franz
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous
By Hally Franz –
What do the terms “upper cut,” “speed bag” and “cross” all have in common? They are new moves that I am learning in the Turbo Kick class I recently joined. At this point, I must issue a disclaimer. I am not really a turbo-kick kind of girl. There is not one thing about me that screams “I can really throw a jab” or “check out my great bob and weave.” I don’t have a bob, a weave or any good boxing moves. Not yet, anyway…
Since I am coming clean about my lack of athleticism, I will also admit that it is much more in my nature to begin my day with a diet soda and a chocolate muffin, than it is protein and fruit juice. And, I am often tempted to skip the gym for other activities like laundry, reading my latest book club assignment, or volunteering at my children’s school. Like a kid sometimes, I don’t always do what is good for me.
Today, however, I was a good girl. I landed in class on time with several other women, and we worked hard for a full hour. As new moves were introduced and the pace grew more intense, our instructor encouraged us with enthusiastic shout-outs like “you got it,” “you feel good” and “you look good.” Initially, I was thinking that while Kelly looked good, I looked like a goof. But, as the class went on, I started to feel powerful, confident, and pleased that I’d tackled the class.
Great teachers do that for their students. They are excited about what they are doing, and they motivate reluctant learners along the way. When I think about my own children’s teachers, I am thankful for those who have shown a passion for learning. My favorite teachers challenge their students. They instill in them the knowledge that they can do wonderful things, and students feel proud of their accomplishments.
If my gym instructor can help this book-club gal to embrace boxing, what can the teachers of the Bible show us? If teachers can motivate students to win spelling bees and produce mind-blowing science projects, what might we be inspired to do when we examine the lives of Esther, Jonah and David? Here’s a quick 1-2. If we start our day with a lesson from His word, we will be much more empowered and confident as we seek to serve Him.
PRAYER: Heavenly Father, guide my study so that I may learn from the real-life Bible heroes and 1st century Christians in Your word. Help me, in my 21st century life, to be motivated and inspired by their eternal examples of faith.
“Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:9 NIV).
Better Than a Sprinkle Cupcake
October 29, 2020 by Elaine James
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous
By Elaine James –
With great anticipation, I held up the milk chocolate cupcake and bit into it. I have died and gone to heaven, I thought. My mouth was bursting with the rich taste of chocolate and the cake was unbelievably moist! Now I know why their ad reads “Sprinkles gourmet cupcakes are a deliciously sophisticated update on an American classic, handcrafted from the finest ingredients.” The Los Angeles Times even touted Sprinkles as “The progenitor of the haute cupcake craze.”
How did I end up at Sprinkles Cupcakes? I live in a suburb of Chicago and was having a mother daughter outing with both of my daughters to the city. After lunch at the famous Walnut Room, my daughters blurted out, “Let’s go to Sprinkles Cupcakes for dessert!” Of course, I had to be the coolest mom ever and make this the perfect day. Right?
I pulled up to the curb and my daughters jumped out with me yelling, “Get me milk chocolate!” as they disappeared into the bakery. I chose well, and after finishing the cupcake, I began to process what just occurred. We chose a famous over-priced cupcake bakery and ate the most wonderful sugary delight. But just like that, voila, done!
I soon began to wonder “when can we do this again? Is this how addictions start?” Guilt set in as I reflected on the starving people in Africa. I prayed and thanked God for being able to do such a crazy thing.
I thought of the rich man who Jesus asked to sell everything and follow Him. Could I give up cupcakes if God asked me to? Would I ever love cupcakes or anything else for that matter more than Him? I remembered the day I was teaching from Psalm 63:5 “I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you” (NIV). Those in the class shared of their mouth watering food experiences; then agreed that our undeserved love from God is mightier. We will literally die and go to heaven because of it.
Can you think of the richest food you ever ate? And how does that compare with the way Jesus longs to satisfy you daily? Talk to Him about it He can help you put things into perspective.
In the car that day I heard a strong and present voice. “Elaine, I gave you the cupcake that you loved, I like doing that for you. I know you know that the delight in the cupcake is temporary, but My love for you is for eternity.”
PRAYER: Thank You for sugary delights. I never want to love anything more than You. I need Your help daily.
“Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live” (Psalm 63:3 NIV).

