My Mom’s a Brunette, I Promise

By Hally Franz –

I can’t remember which image I caught first. After numerous psychology and education class discussions of the classic drawing, I’ve forgotten whether my eyes and brain first registered the lovely, young Victorian lady or the wrinkled, hooded, old lady. You know the one I’m talking about. The lesson pertains to perception. Some people see the young lady, others the old one.

If asked what color my mom’s hair is, I might say she’s brunette. In fact, I have. In my mind, that’s the truth and, without thinking, that’s how I have described her. I was raised by a dark-haired mother; she’s the one that sent me off to college. Over the years, though, she has become increasingly blond. She’s practically platinum, but my mind has been slow to recognize the change.

We all know how critical first impressions are. We are particularly aware of them when we meet a potential employer. Those first impressions are often the moments and pictures remembered by those we encounter. They are brief spans of time that become perceptions, opinions and beliefs.

At first glance the lesson seems obvious. Let’s make sure we show everyone we meet the Christ-like person we hope they see in us. When we’re granted only seconds or minutes, let’s put our best face forward, lest we never get another chance.

That’s the lesson I see first here. It’s the one that registered with me initially. After another longer look I see an extra bit of insight. It occurs to me that I have some impressions-turned-beliefs fixed in my head that may require second looks and updates. A few go back 40 years to elementary school! I don’t know about you, but I hope others see me differently than they may have 40, 30 and even 20 years ago. I hope they’ve given me a longer look over the years.

After repeated college lectures and visual examinations of this exercise, I can see both the old and young lady. Which one I saw first is of no importance now. I think I’ll thumb through my brain’s personnel files, do some reviews and update some old perceptions I have about people. That’s a goal with merit, I think.

While, most of us have learned to interact in a Christian way, we may still have head and heart issues to focus on. You see, I am a brunette—even when my hair leaves my colorist seeing red.

PRAYER: Gracious Father, open my eyes to see people as they truly are without making judgments based on glances and fleeting moments, just as You look deeper at all Your children.

“But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus” (Acts 9:27 NIV).

Today’s devotion is by Hally Franz. Hally is a former high school guidance counselor, turned homemaker. Hally sees each day as a new exercise, where routines change and weights vary. Her goal is to maintain all-around fitness for service, while training her children to be competitive, compassionate and Christ-like in the world in which we live.

DNA and Other Bonds

By Hally Franz –

It’s the reason we share the two greatest sorrows of our lives. I know without asking her that, aside from our individual challenges and heartbreaks, my sister and I would both identify our parents’ divorce and our father’s sudden passing at 61 as the saddest times we’ve known. It explains why our husbands still can’t tell us apart on the telephone and why we look more alike all the time. When we come up with the same word or thought in a situation, we know it is all about nurture and nature, our shared histories and DNA.

Sisterhood is a special relationship. While I am fortunate to have a biological sister, I also find great joy in my pseudo-sister connections. Isn’t it interesting how many ways there are for women to relate to one another?

Sometimes we feel close to others simply because we’ve known them so long. I live in a small town and attended the same public school system for 13 years. Those of us who entered kindergarten together have a common bond, and, even if we’re not in one another’s lives, there is something meaningful about our shared experiences.

Kids have a way of bringing together like-minded moms. I appreciate the fellowship that I have with other mothers whom I sit with on the bench, work with on school parties, and telephone when there is a sleepover in the works. We’re all in the parenting trenches together, and their company encourages me.

Our interests help us cultivate friendships as well. Some connect over dice at bunko parties, some while on the gym’s treadmills, and others with pictures, stickers and scrapbooks. I have been blessed to meet a group of ladies in my book club. We have a great time reading and ranting each month. We share opinions and confidences, and sometimes, a lively 80s karaoke session.

The women in my church have what we call “The Three D’s Gathering” each month: dinner, devotion and dessert. I love these evenings. They are a chance to become closer to my sisters in Christ. We learn and laugh and grow in faith. We plan to be sisters now and in heaven.

Whether they’ve come through science or circumstance, I love my sisters! And I love the Lord for bringing them into my life.

PRAYER: Father, thank You for the wonderful sister relationships You have brought into my life. May we encourage and uplift one another in Christian love.

“At this they wept again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-by, but Ruth clung to her” (Ruth 1:14 NIV).

Today’s devotion is by Hally Franz. Hally is a former high school guidance counselor, turned homemaker. Hally sees each day as a new exercise, where routines change and weights vary. Her goal is to maintain all-around fitness for service, while training her children to be competitive, compassionate and Christ-like in the world in which we live.

Look at Them

By Hally Franz –

Vince Gill’s “Look at Us” was number two on our play list that May evening in 1993. Tim and I danced first, and my grandparents joined us for the second one. It was our first day as a married couple and their 60^th year of marriage.

They moved together in perfect step, smiling with one pair of hands clasped, elbows bent and arms partially outstretched, in their generation’s style of dance. We looked less graceful doing the rotating hug of our peers, but hoped our marriage would resemble my grandparents’ union.

Alvin and Adele married young, moved from city to countryside, built a successful farm and raised four children. She was a supportive wife, genuinely laughing at his jokes, listening attentively when he spoke, helping with farm work and raising his family. He adored her, demonstrating equal amounts of teasing and flirtation, and confidence in her as his most trusted and savvy business partner.

Visiting grandchildren were challenged to find excitement and sugar at Grandpa and Grandma’s. They ate plain food, sandwiches on rye bread with brown mustard, and sliced tomatoes. They drank coffee and tap water. The most decadent treat available was ice cream, reserved for the close of each day.

Television remained off until evening news; with chores to be done. Their 20-minute afternoon naps seemed like an eternity of silence and stillness. We filled our time with “Ants in the Pants,” “Kerplunk” and random trials on that weight-loss machine with the wildly shaking strap for one’s backside. We learned the best use of time was in the spacious horse barn or visiting with Grandma about her youth.

Grandpa’s health declined by 2002. He spent their 69^th anniversary in the hospital, but saved his midday dessert to share with grandma when she arrived later. Grandpa passed away after Christmas. Their farm was auctioned in the spring before Grandma moved to town. She became sick and died in August 2003, just a few months before their 70^th anniversary in November. Grandma joined Grandpa in their eternal home and, as my mother and her siblings know, the two of them celebrated that one together as well.

My grandparents held their relationship above all others. They inherently knew that marriage is the human bond God views most sacred. In an age where strong, long marriages are rare, find that couple who has made it last.

And… look at them!

PRAYER: Heavenly Father, thank You for the blessing of a wonderful husband. May I always practice wisdom and grace, and may our marriage continue to grow stronger and longer.

“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth” (I John 3:18 NIV).

Today’s devotion is by Hally Franz. Hally is a former high school guidance counselor, turned homemaker. Hally sees each day as a new exercise, where routines change and weights vary. Her goal is to maintain all-around fitness for service, while training her children to be competitive, compassionate and Christ-like in the world in which we live.

Pouting Elmo

By Hally Franz –

Elmo is a favorite buddy of my good friend’s adorable two-year-old son. We had lunch recently, and she told me how much he enjoyed anything Elmo. Elmo is a classic. My son hung with Elmo, too; he had his own “Tickle Me, Elmo” doll.

This pal of mine is a young mother and assistant high school principal, and, as often happens, our conversation that day turned to parenting, education and discipline.

Her primary discipline challenges come daily at work rather than with her young son, but soon she’ll be facing them at home too. I know there are children in the world who snap into perfect behavior with a stern look or simple sentence of disappointment. They don’t live at my house.

So, whether out of careful contemplation or desperation, we have sampled a number of forms of discipline. I talk through these issues with our children, while my husband, with his military background, keeps things short and simple. We’ve counted them down, taken away privileges and possessions, and spanked. Success with any form of discipline depends almost entirely on assurance that something bad will happen when children don’t comply with the parental request.

It’s important not to make a threat or consequence that you can’t actually keep, because it blows credibility. I have taken away school field trips when behavior leading up to the day was poor and donated favorite toys when they weren’t being taken care of. Sometimes the follow through part is heart-wrenching.

When I’ve had a rough time with one of my children, I reframe the situation something like this. If God only gives us what we can handle, He must have confidence in me, because he (or she) was a real pain today. It makes me feel better. On those days when my confidence falters, I am careful not to let my kids see it. When it comes to matters of discipline, they simply can’t see me sweat. Kids can be like sharks when they smell blood in the water, merciless.

Consistency, confidence and compassion combined with consideration of the child’s personality and offense, and, of course, love, are perhaps the most important tenants of successful discipline.

Did I mention we used time out… a lot! Ivan became so comfortable with time out that he often disciplined Elmo and other friends, likewise. Occasionally, Elmo Schmelmo got downright cranky and in no mood for tickling.

PRAYER: Father, thank You for blessing me with my beautiful children. With Your help, may I model good behavior and train them in godliness so that they may better serve You.

“Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6 NIV).

Today’s devotion is by Hally Franz. Hally is a former high school guidance counselor, turned homemaker. Hally sees each day as a new exercise, where routines change and weights vary. Her goal is to maintain all-around fitness for service, while training her children to be competitive, compassionate and Christ-like in the world in which we live.

Trash to Treasure

By Hally Franz –

Garbage collectors need a holiday. Administrative assistants, nurses and teachers have special days. Early-rising men and women who take away the ridiculous amount of waste we Americans make should be celebrated as well. This recognition would be especially nice in January after what must be one of the worst week’s of the trash man’s year, the week after Christmas.

My husband and I have survived the early childhood years; our children are now at tween and teenage stages. One difference in these development stages is the size and price of Christmas gifts. Young children equal large packages without much cost, while older ones get smaller boxes that require more money. Play sets and building blocks take up lots of space and come with layers of packaging. How many Christmas mornings have found you filling black bags with mangled bubble wrap, cardboard and plastic, wrapping paper and bows?

I know moms who are willing to let big boxes remain around for weeks, so their kids can have some old-fashioned fun, but I have to admit, I experience anxiety when the clutter and debris begin closing in on me. I’ll sacrifice my children’s creative opportunities if my sanity is at stake.

My son has frequently retrieved discarded items from our trash for some project he has in mind. He gets big ideas about what can be done with a rusted bird bath or old deep sink. I indulge these endeavors as long as he keeps them in his space and in an orderly fashion. Ivan is the one that started us on the path of recycling several months ago.

There’s a favorite school field trip destination in our area that’s called “Leftovers.” It’s dedicated to making art from all sorts of trash, and what they do with old, seemingly useless stuff is truly amazing. What can be better than inspiring creativity (while eliminating mess), and being environmentally conscious at the same time?

I’m rarely able to see potential in dented and damaged objects, bent and tangled cardboard. I am eager to get rid of anything not obviously worthy in function or aesthetics. Thankfully, God doesn’t look at people in the same way I look at things. He sees value in us all, even when we appear worn and weary, haggard and helpless. He recycles daily as He did in the Bible, making heroes of everyday people, heaven-bound treasures from human trash.

PRAYER: Almighty God, He who has endowed each of us with heavenly gifts and talents, help us to discover the overlooked potential in ourselves and others, so that we may more fully serve You.

“Then Ananias answered, Lord, I have heard by many of this man, how much evil he hath done to thy saints at Jerusalem: And here he hath authority from the chief priests to bind all that call on thy name. But the Lord said unto him, Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel” (Acts 9:13-15 KJV).

Today’s devotion is by Hally Franz. Hally is a former teacher and high school guidance counselor, turned homemaker. She enjoys volunteering at her childrens’ school, teaching Bible classes at her church, leading projects in 4-H, writing, reading, scrapbooking, and rousing (though, sometimes, not pretty) Zumba classes.

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