“I can’t wait till this weekend,” I heard myself telling my friend. “My husband and I are finally going on a date. And boy, do I need it!” The problem was it was only Monday. I had to make it through a whole week until the much-needed break would arrive.
How would I survive the week? Would my children hear me wish for the weekend every time they spilled their juice, argued with each other, or came crying that they were “hurt” again? I was so focused on the upcoming weekend to bring contentment and happiness that I found myself being very discontent with the happenings of the current day. I was impatient, distracted, and irritable.
“What was wrong with me? Why was I struggling so?” I asked myself. “Why was it all hitting me so hard?” The feelings caught me by surprise. I was overcome with emotion. Trying my best to hide my unexplained feelings from the kids, and my husband, I hid in the bathroom till I could regain my composure, but the tears didn’t cooperate, I couldn’t seem to hold them back. Noticing my puffy, red eyes, my daughter asked, “Mom, are you crying? What’s wrong?” How could I explain something I didn’t even understand myself?
Questions flooded my mind, causing a panic. Questions I couldn’t answer. I felt out of control. At times I felt I almost couldn’t breath. “What’s wrong with me?” I asked. (No, I’m not pregnant!) I quickly realized I had been stricken, not by a common cold or stomach bug, but by something far more destructive. FEAR. It had me tightly in it’s grip, and wasn’t about to let go. It consumed me. I tried to focus on other things, but my mind kept returning to the fearful thoughts that overwhelmed me. I couldn’t shake it.
Maybe you to, have experienced this kind of fear. The kind that causes you to think irrationally, react unreasonably or speak rudely. It is a powerful emotion. It can cause you to feel hopeless, helpless, and unmotivated.
That day I was fearful of the unknown. I felt as if every aspect of my life was one big question. Where are we supposed to live? What about my husband’s job? The more questions I asked the more frantic I became because I had no answers. It wasn’t until I realized that God wanted me to trust Him completely even when I couldn’t see the plan (or control the plan) that a peace came. Isn’t that what faith is? It doesn’t take faith to trust God when we can see the outcome. But it does take faith to trust Him when we can’t see the outcome. In order to increase our faith in Him and decrease our fear in circumstances, we must focus our minds on Him and meditate on His Word. We can’t fight fear on our own. We can, however, fight and win the battle against fear by fighting back with the “sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.”
PRAYER: Lord, Thank You that You are the Prince of Peace. Free me from the grip of fear that too often consumes me. Increase my faith. Provide me with Your presence which will guard my heart. I trust You, Lord, even when I can’t see what’s ahead. You have a plan and a purpose in it all. Help me hold on to You. Let Your Word penetrate deep into my mind and soul so that I can rest in it throughout the day. Thank You for Your promises.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; I do not give it to you as the world does. Do not let your hearts be distressed or lacking in courage,” John 14:27 NET.
Today’s devotion is by Laurie Lovejoy Hilliard of Mom and Loving It Ministries. Laurie is a speaker and co-author of Bethany House books Mom and Loving It and Hold You, Mommy. She is married to Charles and has four children, ages 4-14. www.momandlovingit.org