Silent Scream for a Savior

May 23, 2023 by  
Filed under Faith, Faith Articles

By Pam Kumpe

My scream for a Savior was silent to those around me, but not to me. It was all I could hear, the sound echoed between my ears. "Yes. Yes. I love Jesus." If only I could say them aloud.

I lived inside a private world, a place where I listened, but rarely reacted. I wanted to run down the aisle of the church to where the pastor stood, so I could just say yes, to his plea; I told my feet to move, but nothing happened.

My heart pounded inside my chest, the tug was strong, and yet my feet felt glued to the sanctuary floor.

I heard the preacher’s message of how much Jesus loved me, and I believed this Jesus could restore my smile and give me hope. At nine years old, stepping out of my silent world scared me, but the preacher told me Jesus could be my friend.

I longed to travel to his world through the pages of the Bible. Jesus could be a person to talk to and trust with my life and he was real, not imaginary.

The moment slipped by as the pastor spoke his final amen, people streamed from their seats and headed outside. Church was over, and I had missed my chance to meet Jesus.

On the way home in the back seat of the car, I swallowed hard. I struggled to tell my mother, afraid to admit that I had just missed my chance to become a Christian.

She sensed something; maybe it was because I kept kicking at her seat from behind, a nervous tick triggered by a mouth full of words longing to find their way out.

She finally dragged it from me; mom assured me — Jesus was waiting for me. That night, we scooted into the very pew, the place where I sat during the morning service. The pounding inside my chest returned, and tears formed in my eyes. Happy tears. Fresh tears. New hope.

Mom reached over, slipped her hand into mine, squeezed and whispered, “I’ll go with you. We will walk to Jesus together.” She kissed my cheek.

Blinking, the floodgates opened and I cried, not out of fear but rather because Jesus cared so much for me, and he sent me an escort, my mom.

Earlier in the day, my mom had telephoned the pastor and told him of my decision, my wanting to live for Jesus, as I made a step toward a life filled with praise, power and promise.

I remember the carpet beneath my feet, the pastor who prayed with me at the church, the stained glass windows, and the cross on the back wall; those scenes are engraved into my thoughts forever.

It was the first day, the anniversary of a new life some forty years ago when I grinned on the outside for the first time.

Scripture says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come" (2 Corinthians 5:17).

God loved me so much that he accepted me the way I was; but he loved me too much to leave me alone.

Yes, after a little nudging, God took me from shy to outgoing, from lost to saved, from merely surviving to thriving! And he wants to do the same for you.

About the Author:
Pam Kumpe writes an inspirational newspaper column for the Bowie County Life/ Texarkana Gazette in East Texas. She also hosts a weekly Podcast called "Daybreak Devotionals," teaches Kids Super Church, and loves telling stories. You can learn more about Pam at


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