Motivation Article: GPS for the Heart Part 1 of 2

May 11, 2023 by  
Filed under Faith, Faith Articles

By Robert Eberline

Flipping through the channels one evening, a frighteningly familiar sound comes from the TV:
Exciting and new,
Come aboard,
They’re expecting you.”
The Love Boat, I about had an apoplectic fit right on the spot. But the theme song did bring to mind a day that fills some Christians with dread; the day of amore, Valentine’s Day. This day is chock full of complicated issues for Christians. In this national spotlight of love, a GPS for the heart is in order. What do Christian women think of the dating scene, and conversely, the men?  How do we as Christian singles navigate through the torrid waters of the “Dating Pool”? I for one, would like to know, wouldn’t you? We are all looking for an “Atlantis”. We are looking for a place where our questions can be answered, a place where we walk out wealthy in the knowledge of how to navigate the waters. In order to answer these and other questions, we as Christian singles must first figure out what we are looking for.

Erin (22) has a unique outlook on this subject because where she’s from people don't really date. Meaning; she sees different people on a one to one basis in the interests of developing a meaningful relationship. However, from what she can see the dating scene is a tough scene; where a lot of the more prosperous participants are superficial and shallow. She thinks that the dating scene is hard for real down to earth individuals looking for something of substance. Victoria (26) thinks that the dating scene is rough out there!! What does she look for in a relationship? She always likes a guy who has all of his teeth. “Seriously, girls like guys who are confident. We want a guy who can be bold enough to pursue us even if he totally strikes out. We want to be romanced even in the beginning with small things that make us feel like he is trying to win us – and later to keep us. That sounds self-centered, but it is not – because most of us girls will return it right back to the guy. We want someone who takes an interest in our friends and loves our family, and the rest is personal preference.” Rebecca (35) believes that it's hard for people in their 30's who want a relationship to find like minded people (WITHOUT) going on the internet (unless you fix them up with a friend). Atlanta, for some reason, seems to be harder than other cities. She thinks that it is because men and women have too many options, so they are always looking for something better, or if they like something, they see the grass on the other side and wish they had that.

Some tips according to Erin would be, “continue to be yourself because there is definitely someone out there who will appreciate who you really are. Although experience and the pressures of society may say otherwise you just have to rely on the fact that "good things come to those who wait." Victoria believes the same thing. Rebecca adds “if you live with someone, then the guy has his cake and is eating it too. Statistics say that if people live together before they are married, than they are more likely to get divorced. Also, sex before marriage is not the best idea. It is a gift from God. Saving that for marriage will save you from a lot of heartache down the road. It's never too late to stop having sex. Even if you are in a relationship with someone and you've had it with them, when you stop the 'physical" part of it, you will find out if you are REALLY compatible.” She also finds that many people married by age 25 are now divorced. An exception to that is when both parties are walking in God's truth, both have an idea of what married life and a committed relationship should look like. So, if you are over 30 and are not married, a good reason for that is that you made some poor choices in the past and didn't know what God intended for you. If you become a Christian later in life, hopefully it will prove to build a stronger, healthier, God centered marriage.”

Robert (29) finds the dating scene here in Atlanta to be quite scary. “I mean, it is like the Bermuda Triangle out there. The waters are beautiful and clear in places, and murky in others. But more to the point, sharks. These waters can be shark infested, so you have to bring the shark repellent. One minute you are swimming along quite well, when all of a sudden, poof, you vanish. Being a single Christian in this scene can be difficult for your walk.” Tim (35) feels that dating in Atlanta is hard and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier. Both men and women have high standards that are unrealistic and superficial. The pros and cons of living in a large city such as Atlanta, is the variety of young professionals from various nationalities; but as stated above from his friend Rebecca, people are always looking for greener grass. The bar and club scenes are not popular among the 30's something crowds therefore they are resorting to the net for their ways to find compatible partners.

Robert puts personality and intelligence as an importance. “Hopefully the girl reads the bible and goes to church. The best shark repellent that I have been able to find is Jesus. Most of the girls that attend church, because they want to, not because of obligation, tend to have morals that coincide with fellowship. Somebody who I find attractive is also very important. Anybody that says looks are not important, are fooling themselves. I mean, everybody has different tastes, and the girl that they are interested in should be physically attractive to them. Also, games are a deterrent. When should a person call back? The next day, standard second day callback, or perhaps the three day call; who knows? Be honest, and keep the games at a minimum.”

Dillon (24) seconds that notion adding his tips, “well, first and foremost, don’t let your guard down. Although the dating scene can be exciting, it’s a jungle out there. There are going to be girls that hurt your feelings. Not necessarily because they want to, but it happens. You have to be careful. Just because you want to be honest with them, does not mean that they are honest with you. It sounds cynical, but that is how I feel. I am not saying to lie to anybody, just do not lay down all of your cards at once. As in poker, wait for the call before you do that.” Tim dispels a dating myth; a man has to have money to stand a chance with a woman. “Not all women are looking for a 'rich' man but they are looking for security. The potential to provide is what's important. Having an education and professional experience that can enable to provide, is what would make a woman feel that she will have security in a relationship.”

Some people have found the “Atlantis” of relationships. How did they do it? Where did they find it?  What does the bible say about dating and relationships?  Check out Part 2 of this article.

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