DNA and Other Bonds

By Hally Franz –

It’s the reason we share the two greatest sorrows of our lives. I know without asking her that, aside from our individual challenges and heartbreaks, my sister and I would both identify our parents’ divorce and our father’s sudden passing at 61 as the saddest times we’ve known. It explains why our husbands still can’t tell us apart on the telephone and why we look more alike all the time. When we come up with the same word or thought in a situation, we know it is all about nurture and nature, our shared histories and DNA.

Sisterhood is a special relationship. While I am fortunate to have a biological sister, I also find great joy in my pseudo-sister connections. Isn’t it interesting how many ways there are for women to relate to one another?

Sometimes we feel close to others simply because we’ve known them so long. I live in a small town and attended the same public school system for 13 years. Those of us who entered kindergarten together have a common bond, and, even if we’re not in one another’s lives, there is something meaningful about our shared experiences.

Kids have a way of bringing together like-minded moms. I appreciate the fellowship that I have with other mothers whom I sit with on the bench, work with on school parties, and telephone when there is a sleepover in the works. We’re all in the parenting trenches together, and their company encourages me.

Our interests help us cultivate friendships as well. Some connect over dice at bunko parties, some while on the gym’s treadmills, and others with pictures, stickers and scrapbooks. I have been blessed to meet a group of ladies in my book club. We have a great time reading and ranting each month. We share opinions and confidences, and sometimes, a lively 80s karaoke session.

The women in my church have what we call “The Three D’s Gathering” each month: dinner, devotion and dessert. I love these evenings. They are a chance to become closer to my sisters in Christ. We learn and laugh and grow in faith. We plan to be sisters now and in heaven.

Whether they’ve come through science or circumstance, I love my sisters! And I love the Lord for bringing them into my life.

PRAYER: Father, thank You for the wonderful sister relationships You have brought into my life. May we encourage and uplift one another in Christian love.

“At this they wept again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-by, but Ruth clung to her” (Ruth 1:14 NIV).

Today’s devotion is by Hally Franz. Hally is a former high school guidance counselor, turned homemaker. Hally sees each day as a new exercise, where routines change and weights vary. Her goal is to maintain all-around fitness for service, while training her children to be competitive, compassionate and Christ-like in the world in which we live.

Through a Father’s Lens

By Jarrod Spencer –

My parents would probably tell you that I was a handful to raise. I did not do things that would have landed me in handcuffs or send me to the principal’s office. No, I was a smart aleck. My mouth caused me to be a “handful.” I remember being upset with my father and hollering down the hall, “You’re the worst father in the world!” Needless to say, my father came back and let me know he didn’t approve. My parents were smokers and when we didn’t go on a vacation one summer I told them, “If you guys wouldn’t smoke, we’d have at least $520 extra dollars a year to go on a vacation.” That didn’t go over too well, either. Still another time, when I was twenty-two years old, traveling to see my fiancé, I stayed at friends of the family overnight. Mom called to make sure I had arrived safely and I communicated to her that I didn’t need to check in with her. I was older now. This caused her to be very upset with me.

Can you see how I was a handful?

God must have been laughing at me as He knew that when I became a father I would be dealt some humbling blows. I have only been a father for three years, but have already had my fair share of humble pie pieces to eat.

The initial piece was when I saw my firstborn in the flesh and thought, “He’s mine and I’m responsible for him.” I started to feel a love that was unlike anything I’d ever felt. A love that feels pain and “hurts me more than it hurts him.” A love that loves always even when I do not like all the things he does. A love that is proud over the smallest of things.

The other pieces came in times when same said firstborn showed signs of stubbornness or a keen ability to ask for a snack or something to drink at bedtime to be allowed to stay up a few minutes more.

Looking at my son through a father’s lens has caused me to be more appreciative of my parents and what I made them endure. It has also caused me to look at myself differently by viewing what I do through God’s perspective.

PRAYER: Father, thank You for allowing me to become a parent. I’m grateful for the two kids You have blessed me with. I appreciate how my view of my parents has changed after having children. Guide me in raising my children to fear You as I fear You.

“He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge” (Proverbs 14:26 NIV).

Today’s devotional is by Jarrod Spencer. He is a seeker of God’s surprises in everyday life, looking for ways to be used by God with anyone he comes in contact with. He has a passion for encouraging people through the written word and exercises that passion with blogging and sending out a weekly text of encouragement. You can read more of his writings at http://jarrodspencer.blogspot.com and his church’s website is http://www.colbychurch.com.

Unfired Arrows

By Art Fulks –

This year we experienced our oldest flying from the nest. After graduating he left for a one-year missionary tour. He graduated on Thursday, then left to meet his new team on Friday. His three siblings turned his bedroom into a TV room almost before he was out of the driveway. But with the deluge of activities, I’m not sure that my wife and I really felt the impact until sometime later.

Friends of ours watched both their twins graduate high school this year as well. This fall, they left for college in separate directions, one to the north and the other south. Although we still have three kids at home, their sudden “empty nest” status helped me realize that our time will not be that far away.

We have certainly been blessed with four great kids. The Bible is true when it says, “Children are a gift of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3a, NASB). But with our first leaving, I was reminded that our job and calling is not to raise children, but rather to raise adults who know God personally and passionately pursue His purpose for their lives.

Psalm 127 continues by saying, “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them” (v. 4-5a, NASB). But the purpose of an arrow is not to hold it. Some need to be shot a far distance, while others close by. But the purpose of an arrow is never to stay in the quiver—unfired.

In thinking about unfired arrows, I realized that they have a few potential outcomes:
1) they rust and become useless; 2) the person holding them too tightly is injured by his own arrow; or 3) the person holding them becomes useless or gets shot by the enemy because of their unwillingness to engage in the battle. In contrast, a well-prepared and strategically shot arrow is a blessing as the invisible (but so very real) hand of the Almighty guides what our imperfect efforts have launched. And this wonderful child we have been allowed to mold and carry in our quiver becomes a beautiful and effective tool in the hands of our God.

PRAYER: Dear Father, Who molds my life, would You help me to effectively and lovingly shape the life of my children as long as they are entrusted to my stewardship? Give me the faith and courage to launch them into Your worthy service for the glory of the One whom You sent to die for us, Your Son, Jesus Christ.

Today’s devotional is by Art Fulks, a church planter / pastor at Connection Fellowship in Greenville, South Carolina. Married for 22 years and father of four, Art is a graduate of The Ohio State Univeristy and Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is a passionate Bible teacher, speaker, musician, worship leader, and life coach. Read more at http://www.connectionfellowship.org or http://artfulks.blogspot.com

Look at Them

By Hally Franz –

Vince Gill’s “Look at Us” was number two on our play list that May evening in 1993. Tim and I danced first, and my grandparents joined us for the second one. It was our first day as a married couple and their 60^th year of marriage.

They moved together in perfect step, smiling with one pair of hands clasped, elbows bent and arms partially outstretched, in their generation’s style of dance. We looked less graceful doing the rotating hug of our peers, but hoped our marriage would resemble my grandparents’ union.

Alvin and Adele married young, moved from city to countryside, built a successful farm and raised four children. She was a supportive wife, genuinely laughing at his jokes, listening attentively when he spoke, helping with farm work and raising his family. He adored her, demonstrating equal amounts of teasing and flirtation, and confidence in her as his most trusted and savvy business partner.

Visiting grandchildren were challenged to find excitement and sugar at Grandpa and Grandma’s. They ate plain food, sandwiches on rye bread with brown mustard, and sliced tomatoes. They drank coffee and tap water. The most decadent treat available was ice cream, reserved for the close of each day.

Television remained off until evening news; with chores to be done. Their 20-minute afternoon naps seemed like an eternity of silence and stillness. We filled our time with “Ants in the Pants,” “Kerplunk” and random trials on that weight-loss machine with the wildly shaking strap for one’s backside. We learned the best use of time was in the spacious horse barn or visiting with Grandma about her youth.

Grandpa’s health declined by 2002. He spent their 69^th anniversary in the hospital, but saved his midday dessert to share with grandma when she arrived later. Grandpa passed away after Christmas. Their farm was auctioned in the spring before Grandma moved to town. She became sick and died in August 2003, just a few months before their 70^th anniversary in November. Grandma joined Grandpa in their eternal home and, as my mother and her siblings know, the two of them celebrated that one together as well.

My grandparents held their relationship above all others. They inherently knew that marriage is the human bond God views most sacred. In an age where strong, long marriages are rare, find that couple who has made it last.

And… look at them!

PRAYER: Heavenly Father, thank You for the blessing of a wonderful husband. May I always practice wisdom and grace, and may our marriage continue to grow stronger and longer.

“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth” (I John 3:18 NIV).

Today’s devotion is by Hally Franz. Hally is a former high school guidance counselor, turned homemaker. Hally sees each day as a new exercise, where routines change and weights vary. Her goal is to maintain all-around fitness for service, while training her children to be competitive, compassionate and Christ-like in the world in which we live.

Pouting Elmo

By Hally Franz –

Elmo is a favorite buddy of my good friend’s adorable two-year-old son. We had lunch recently, and she told me how much he enjoyed anything Elmo. Elmo is a classic. My son hung with Elmo, too; he had his own “Tickle Me, Elmo” doll.

This pal of mine is a young mother and assistant high school principal, and, as often happens, our conversation that day turned to parenting, education and discipline.

Her primary discipline challenges come daily at work rather than with her young son, but soon she’ll be facing them at home too. I know there are children in the world who snap into perfect behavior with a stern look or simple sentence of disappointment. They don’t live at my house.

So, whether out of careful contemplation or desperation, we have sampled a number of forms of discipline. I talk through these issues with our children, while my husband, with his military background, keeps things short and simple. We’ve counted them down, taken away privileges and possessions, and spanked. Success with any form of discipline depends almost entirely on assurance that something bad will happen when children don’t comply with the parental request.

It’s important not to make a threat or consequence that you can’t actually keep, because it blows credibility. I have taken away school field trips when behavior leading up to the day was poor and donated favorite toys when they weren’t being taken care of. Sometimes the follow through part is heart-wrenching.

When I’ve had a rough time with one of my children, I reframe the situation something like this. If God only gives us what we can handle, He must have confidence in me, because he (or she) was a real pain today. It makes me feel better. On those days when my confidence falters, I am careful not to let my kids see it. When it comes to matters of discipline, they simply can’t see me sweat. Kids can be like sharks when they smell blood in the water, merciless.

Consistency, confidence and compassion combined with consideration of the child’s personality and offense, and, of course, love, are perhaps the most important tenants of successful discipline.

Did I mention we used time out… a lot! Ivan became so comfortable with time out that he often disciplined Elmo and other friends, likewise. Occasionally, Elmo Schmelmo got downright cranky and in no mood for tickling.

PRAYER: Father, thank You for blessing me with my beautiful children. With Your help, may I model good behavior and train them in godliness so that they may better serve You.

“Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6 NIV).

Today’s devotion is by Hally Franz. Hally is a former high school guidance counselor, turned homemaker. Hally sees each day as a new exercise, where routines change and weights vary. Her goal is to maintain all-around fitness for service, while training her children to be competitive, compassionate and Christ-like in the world in which we live.

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