Some Folks Are Just Pessimists
By Ronnie Wyatt
Bob was an avid duck hunter that was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck! The first person he wanted to show his amazing new friend to was one of his hunting buddies who was an eternal pessimist. This hunting buddy of his refused to be impressed with anything.
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You Know
By Ronnie Wyatt
A man left his apartment one morning and walked to work through the city streets. As he passed a pet store there was a parrot sitting in the window. To the man’s surprise the parrot yelled out to him, “Hey buddy!”
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Who am I?
By Ronnie Wyatt
A man walks into a Doctor’s office and is greeted by the receptionist, “Hello Mr. Johnson. Just take a seat over in the lobby and the Doctor will be with you in just a few minutes..”
He makes his way to the lobby and sits down beside another gentleman and begins to thumb through a magazine. After a few moments the gentleman strikes up a conversation with him.
“So,” says the gentleman. “Are you from around here?”
Watch Out For That Tree
By Ronnie Wyatt
A state trooper pulls over a car on a lonely back road and approaches the driver. "Sir, is there a reason you're weaving all over the road?"
The driver replies, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
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Saving All The Seats
By Ronnie Wyatt
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The man groaned but didn't budge.
The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"
"Sam," the man moaned.
"Where you from, Sam?" asked the officer.
With pain in his voice Sam replied, "The balcony."
