Saving All The Seats

By Ronnie Wyatt  
 
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
 
The man groaned but didn't budge.
 
The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
 
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.  In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"
 
"Sam," the man moaned.
"Where you from, Sam?" asked the officer.
 
With pain in his voice Sam replied, "The balcony."

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Hello My Name Is

By Ronnie Wyatt  

Hello, my name is Ronnie Wyatt. Well, it’s not actually “Ronnie”. My REAL name is Ronald. For some reason, my parents decided to give me a REAL name AND a NICKNAME at the time of my birth. In fact, they told people, “His name is Ronald, BUT we are going to call him Ronnie.” I don’t understand that. If they liked “Ronnie” so much, why didn’t they just go with that one in the first place? It’s like they wanted me to have two separate identities. On one hand I am the “official document signing, Ronald” and on the other hand, I am the “happy go lucky, Ronnie”. On one hand, I am about “Business” and, I guess on the other hand, I am supposed to be about, “Woooooooo”.

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The Obsession Gene

By Kim Stokely –

 

I’m convinced that within me is an “obsession gene.” For the most part, this gene lies dormant within my DNA, but every couple of years, like some mutant cicada, it reawakens and consumes my mind.

When I was a child, the obsessions would center on a certain book or television show. It’s all I could think or talk about for weeks. When my husband and I married 25 years ago, my mother gave us a Nintendo 64 system for our first Christmas together. Fortunately my husband was on shift work, or my non-stop game playing through the night might have caused him to rethink his marriage vows.

Over the past twenty years I’ve become obsessed with different video games. Once, it was saving the citizens of Naboo from an Imperial take-over. My family staged an intervention when I suspected a flock of birds was actually a fleet of tie-fighters. Then there was the time I became consumed with the goal of becoming a Rollercoaster Tycoon. I even had the kids pray for the victims of a terrible crash in one of my imaginary theme parks.

As I get older, the obsessions seem to be fewer and far between. There were the brief addictions to Pet Society and Angry Birds, but it’s been quite a while since the last one.

So imagine my husband’s surprise when he saw that frightening, yet familiar, sparkle in my eyes after I returned home from a craft night with the ladies from my church.

“Oh, no.” He grabbed my shoulders. “What is it this time?”

“Knitting!”

His brows furrowed. “Knitting?”

I nodded. “Scarves! Look!” I held up the half-completed, first attempt, at a sashay scarf. The silver thread in the yarn sparkled in the kitchen light. My mind was transfixed.

Since that night, some four weeks ago, I’ve knit a myriad of the twirling pieces of neckwear. Like zucchini from a summer time garden, the scarves keep appearing. I’ve begun handing them out to strangers in the street. I don’t know how long this obsession is going to last, but my husband hopes it’ll end soon before I spend all of our retirement money on yarn.

God wants us to be that consumed with Him. Jesus told us that the greatest commandment is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30 NIV). It’s hard, in this world of distractions, to maintain that kind of focus on God. But if I can have that kind of concentration for a video game or craft project, I know that it is possible. It’ll take a commitment to His word and to prayer. But it is something to which we all should strive.

Smiling at the Future—with or without the Cavities

By Rhonda Rhea –

I hear if you put a Whitman’s Sampler under your pillow, the cavity fairy will bring you…a $200 invoice from your dentist. If you try it, you should know that while the midnight snacking is awesome, there most likely will be some time in the chair in your future. On the other hand, you’ll probably be smiling all the way to the dentist.

Personally, I’ve been trying to come up with new ways to fight tooth decay while also utilizing my time more efficiently. Like this morning I’m putting toothpaste in my breakfast cereal. Gotta love a hearty bowl of dental hygiene in the morning. Four out of five dentists still think it’s a little weird.

There’s nothing wrong with utilizing our time well. But life is not really all about utilizing our time. It’s more about surrendering it. And not just a “sampling.” We’re using time well when we’re loving Him with all of it. And when we’re remembering His love for us. Even when life is cavity-filled or riddled with every other kind of difficulty, it’s good to remember that His love is ever sure and steady.

There’s great strength in a keen awareness of His great love. There’s great strength in loving Him with abandon. Difficulties can cause us to feel weak and fragile. They can make the future look dark and scary. But understanding His love for us and operating in loving surrender to Him gives us a different outlook on the future. We can smile. Whether or not those dentists agree.

The virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31 is a great example: “Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future” (verse 25 NASB). This woman is strong—she “wears” that strength—and smiles at what’s ahead.

Resting in the love of God, relying on Him, strengthens us to the point we don’t have to fear difficulties. “Praise the LORD! Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in his commandments! He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD. His heart is steady; he will not be afraid” (Psalm 112:1, 7-8 ESV).

Ah, there’s that key to a great smile. It’s not in what we do or don’t eat. It’s not in when or how we brush. A heart that’s firmly, steadily trusting in the Lord is one that can smile at the future, even in the face of problems. Those troubles don’t have to fill our lives with fear. Everything truly vital for life is perfectly secure. “The LORD protects you; the LORD is a shelter right by your side” (Psalm 121:5 HCSB).

I’d much rather spend my time relying and resting in the Lord, not fearing and fretting over any old difficulties. It’s true, I can always find a smile there. I can lie down at night, I can sleep peacefully. “In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You, Lord, alone make me dwell in safety and confident trust” (Psalm 4:8 AMP).

Sleeping with a smile. Nevermind any lumps under the pillow. Though you’ll want to keep in mind that sleeping with chocolate under your pillow at night can lead to cavities in the day. And for the record, also ants.

Package Deal

By Rhonda Rhea –

Big things come in small packages. I think the person who said that sat beside me in my high school geometry class. Even though I was really bad at geometry, I would never copy off that guy’s paper. Because that would be very wrong, yes. But also because the answer would also likely be very wrong.

Let’s be real. As much as I tried, I could never make myself care what “Y” equaled. Congruently (see what I did there?), I don’t care what size the package is. Just as long as the package is for me. I love it when the delivery truck pulls into my driveway. A friend mentioned the other day that she gets so much more out of sending a package to someone else than she does from receiving a gift herself. I plastered a smile on my face and nodded like I understood but I’m ready to be honest now:  she doesn’t get me at all. And if she ever does get me, I’m convinced she’ll be a little appalled.

I was reminded recently of something even more appalling. Did you know that various studies indicate that 60 to 70% of our twenty-somethings—even those who were very active in church during their growing up years—stop attending church before they hit 30? Not a few of them. Not some of them. Most of them. That’s beyond appalling. It’s absolutely heartbreaking.

When it comes right down to it, we don’t get to choose on behalf of the next generation. It’s not really a “package deal.” Each one will make his own choice to follow Christ or to walk away.

We can’t choose for them. But we can make sure we train them. We can continually speak the Gospel into the lives of the young people we’re around. Without a true saving knowledge of Christ, they take nothing solid into adulthood—nothing real to build their lives on. They need truth.

Training others in how to walk out a solid faith will always build up the church. Paul talked about it in Ephesians 4:12 when he spoke of training saints “in the work of ministry, to build up the body of Christ,” (HCSB). We can tell them with our words and we can show them by our example how to love Jesus and love people in His name, passionately working for the Lord. We’re told that the people who get that will “no longer be little children, tossed by the waves and blown around by every wind of teaching, by human cunning with cleverness in the techniques of deceit (vs.14 HCSB).

The truth in love. It’s what every generation needs. “But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into Him who is the head—Christ,” (Ephesians 4:15 HCSB). As we give it out and live it out, we’re not only helping others grow, we’re growing in Christ ourselves. It’s better than merely receiving. It’s bigger than just giving. It’s the total package! You can copy my answer on that one.

As for my packages here at home, I’ve come up with my own theorems and formulas on that. Looks like I’ll probably always be at least a little appalling.

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