Laundry Lesson
February 27, 2023 by Kim Stokely
Filed under Humor, Stories
By Kim Stokely –
Our family pets love laundry day. We had a parakeet who could say two phrases, “Hi, bird” and “Praise God!” He loved to chirp back to the various squeaks and clicks the dryer made. When it came time to fold clothes, he’d tweet happily and call out “Praise God” while I worked. His gentle reminder to be thankful for God’s provision of clothes helped make the chore easier.
Alas, the bird passed away and now we have Ollie, the sock thief. This puppy has a nose for the smell of Tide and a desire to eat all of our socks and unmentionables. Who knew that washing clothes would require making a game plan of defensive maneuvers to keep the little fuzz ball from stealing items not only out of the laundry basket, but out of the dryer itself? While I’m busy folding t-shirts, Ollie sneaks behind me like a white, puffy ninja and slides a sock from the dryer. It’s only when he’s out of my reach that he lifts his head and trots happily toward the living room. It’s that happy gait that signals he’s done it again. I spend the next two or three minutes like something out of a Tom and Jerry cartoon, chasing the fluffy delinquent in circles around our house until he drops his loot.
As harmless as chewing a sock seems to be, I know that should he actually swallow the fabric, it could cause his little tummy a world of trouble. I knew of a Dalmatian whose fetish for socks landed her in the vet’s office, undergoing emergency surgery. Ollie may not understand why I keep taking away his seemingly harmless toy, but I do.
I love Ollie to pieces but get so frustrated by his constant desire to do the wrong thing. Whether it be to chew socks or tunnel under the fence, I have to keep a constant eye on the wily puppy. If only he understood that the boundaries I put up were for his own good. To protect him from harm and help him to grow up healthy.
I suppose God looks at us the same way. All of us are tempted, at least at some point, to do the wrong thing. Like Ollie, we may not even know it’s dangerous, but God does. Psalm 25:8-9 says “Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way” (NIV). Just as I try and be patient with my puppy, God is patient with us. He guides us and, if we are willing, trains us to walk in His ways.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to run. The house is too quiet. Ollie must be up to something.
The Storms Crash
February 26, 2023 by Liz Cowen Furman
Filed under Humor, Stories
By Liz Cowen Furman –
What matches the excitement of an airplane trip? As a child, when I saw a plane overhead I said, ‘someone is going somewhere.’ I always wanted to GO SOMEWHERE. At that stage of my life, with a few exceptions, I took trips by reading books instead of hopping a plane. Books are great, yet nothing matches the feeling of stepping off a plane into some distant land you have never actually seen, smelled or felt.
Recently, we were planning to take our youngest to check out colleges in Florida. Suddenly, we discovered my husband had to have surgery. We had to get the trip in before, as I would not be able to leave for a long stretch once he had surgery, and then it would be Eagle Court of Honor and graduation time.
While I was at work, my son made the reservations for us. The next day when we went to print our boarding passes and leave for the airport my husband realized the tickets were for a week hence.
Panic would be an understatement; in searching for the best short notice deals he made our trip out on one airline and our trip back on another. Oh, and he put the wrong name on my ticket. Learning curve.
I prayed, then called the airlines and explained our dilemma. To our great surprise and relief they both called it a ‘same day ticket error’ and gave us our money back, so we were able to reschedule.
At the airport, we plopped our stuff in the bins to be x-rayed. As mine went through, the tub turned upside down. All the contents fell out and my driver’s license went missing. I prayed silently until a very nice TSA agent found it under the x-ray machine. Thank you, Jesus.
When we bought dinner at Panda Express my veggies tasted like seafood. I am allergic to shellfish and I did not bring my EpiPen, so I was fearful. On the moving walkway I told Micah it felt like something was messing with us. We prayed.
As we sped away from New Orleans Airport the storm hit. Thunder and lightning flashed and crashed as the radio barked out tornado warnings. We prayed again. When the clouds rolled away we thanked our Protector.
That is how the trip went: Storms came; we prayed. Storms went.
We thanked Him for His protection and direction. We felt we were being attacked and protected at every turn. Just like life, when ‘storms’ hit we pray, and when we are protected we give thanks. When it seems we aren’t protected, we give thanks anyway, knowing that His hand is on us even when it doesn’t seem or feel like it. Because we know from Jeremiah 29:11 we are secure,we can rest under His wings.
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV).
When I’m Bad to the Bone
February 21, 2023 by Dawn Wilson
Filed under Humor, Stories
By Dawn Wilson –
Why, oh why, did I sit in the front row?
One Sunday, eager to hear a long-time friend preach in my church, I came early to sit in the front row. My husband is something of a “back-row believer,” and I usually sit with him; but since Bob was out of the country, I got a front-row opportunity!
My seat was saved, but then I came in a little late after waiting for my preacher friend’s wife to finish up at their book table. The congregation finished a stirring song as I settled into my pew.
My friend smiled from the platform to see me so obviously “in place” to hear his message, and then plunged into a powerful message from the book of Revelation.
Then suddenly, from down near my feet, came the raunchy music of a tune by George Thorogood and the Destroyers—“Bad to the Bone!” In the late rush to my seat, I’d failed to shut off my phone before putting it in my purse.
It was a call from my husband. He’d forgotten the time difference from Guatemala to California, and his bad boy ring tone blasted out strong. (No, I will not tell you why Bob has that ring tone!)
My friend didn’t miss a beat. He kept preaching. But I’d swear he glared in my direction. To be honest, he may have been intense about his message on the anti-Christ and the end times, his topic for the evening. But as I scrambled for my phone, shut it down and cringed in my seat, I felt like members of the congregation were searching for 666 on my forehead!
All but my friend’s wife. She erupted into a geyser of giggles. My preacher friend glared again.
I felt “bad to the bone” that night. But not the wild kind of bad to the bone. More like the humiliated, “I’m so terribly messed up” sort of bad.
It’s not the first time I’ve been embarrassed by worse behavior than that. And before you point a finger, remember: the Bible says there is “no good thing” in our flesh (Psalm 14:2-3; Romans 7:18a). Our fleshly “goodness” is like “filthy rags” in God’s sight (Isaiah 64:6).
Before we receive the Lord Jesus, we are “sons of disobedience,” spiritually dead (Ephesians 2:1-3). We are helpless and hopeless without Him, desperate and needing rescue. But (praise God) while we were yet sinners—while we were bad to the bone—Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).
God, in His good grace, planned not only for our “bad to the bone” moments, but also our alienation from Him. Our holy God wants a relationship with us, and the only way He can do that is to transform us to the core—to make us righteous in Christ. In truth, Jesus is our only hope (1 Timothy 1:1).
In Christ, we are justified and positionally holy (Titus 3:5-7; Romans 3:21-26), and someday we will be like Him, glorified and perfected, for we will “see Him as He is” (Philippians 3:21; Romans 8:30; 1 John 3:2-3). But in the meantime, we can partner with God in our sanctification (1 Thessalonians 5:23; John 17:17; 2 Timothy 2:21).
We don’t have to be victims of Satan’s “bad to the bone” agenda for our lives. We were created for so much more.
Jumping to Conclusions
February 20, 2023 by Dawn Wilson
Filed under Humor, Stories
By Dawn Wilson –
The first time I heard my mom talk about spring cleaning, I thought, “Why would anyone want to clean a spring?” (With my elementary school thinking, I envisioned my mom scrubbing bed springs … or even my rusty metal Slinky!)
I don’t think I’m alone in jumping to (mistaken) conclusions, but I do it quite a lot. Once, when my husband was looking at some old photos from before our marriage, he said, “You really looked good there—thin and healthy.” Immediately, I jumped to the conclusion that he thought I was now fat and practically on my deathbed. I got offended by his simple statement.
I let him off the hook with a date at Outback Steakhouse, but my resentment wasn’t very pretty.
A verse in scripture addresses those kinds of conclusions. “[Love] … is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV).
Sometimes conclusion “jumps” are big leaps of misunderstanding.
I read about a 24-year-old “boy” who gazed with amazement out a train window. “Dad,” he said. “Look! The trees are going behind!”
The father smiled, but a young couple sitting near them looked on the 24-year-old’s childish behavior and pitied him.
Suddenly the young man said, “Dad, look! The clouds are running with us!”
The young couple shook their heads and one of them said to the Father, “Why don’t you take your son to a good doctor? I’m sure he could help.”
The dad just smiled, glanced at his son, and then toward the couple.
“We just came from the hospital,” he said. “You see, my son was blind from birth, but he just ‘got his eyes’ today.”
It’s so easy to jump to conclusions, but what we see might not be the truth. What we think we understand might be far off the mark.
Our enemy, Satan, loves it when we jump to conclusions. With a little coaxing, he tempted Eve to deduce that she could be “like God,” knowing things she’d never known before (Genesis 3:4-5). But Eve didn’t read the fine print in the devil’s contract. Yes, her eyes and mind were opened, but to the horrors of sin.
Satan loves it when I reason apart from God today. He’s glad whenever I think God doesn’t love me or has forgotten me in a tough circumstance. He smiles when I act like my Heavenly Father—so sovereign and powerful—is somehow uninvolved, standing by “helpless” when my life seems to spin out of control.
Satan, the master deceiver, the liar of all liars (John 8:44), delights in casting doubt on God’s Word (Genesis 3:1). I need to remember that, and question him rather than my Lord.
Satan’s target is always our mind. He uses lies to make us ignorant of God’s will and ways. Our strong defense is the faithful Word of God. It exposes and teaches us to hate every false way (Psalm 119:128).
Warren Wiersbe wrote, in The Strategy of Satan: How to Detect and Defeat Him, “If we try to evaluate things around us on the basis of our own thinking and knowledge, we will get into trouble. We must believe that what God says about things in his Word is true.”
In other words, I need to guard my heart with the Scriptures. I don’t want to “spring” to any foolish conclusions or actions.
Faith Like a Taco
January 23, 2023 by Rhonda Rhea
Filed under Humor, Stories
By Rhonda Rhea –
Okay, so here’s an idea. A taco, but with a folded hamburger patty for the shell. Because nobody lives forever anyway.
It makes me want to imagine there’s actually a quote that goes, “Ask not for whom the Taco Bell tolls. It probably tolls for thee.”
I’m not sure how to stop my brain from coming up with new ideas that add fat content to my diet by the thigh-load. You’d think my cholesterol numbers would scare me straight. Of course, this is precisely why I don’t regularly have my cholesterol checked. Knowing might actually be a strain on my heart.
Some people don’t know that cholesterol can produce extra adrenaline that way. I do wonder if at some point my heart and thighs will together rise up and tell me enough is enough.
When it comes to faith, though, is there ever a point we feel we have enough? And how much would that be? Even the disciples asked Jesus to grow their faith (Luke 17:5) and they were eye-witnesses to the miracles of Christ. They heard His words firsthand.
This life is full of challenges. We need a faith that’s not merely “enough.” We need faith that’s meaty. Double-meaty, even.
We beef up our faith every time we remember exactly where that faith is placed. It’s not faith in faith. That’s just a lot of extra fat. Hebrews 12:2 refers to Jesus as “the author and perfecter of faith,” (NASB). Our “Author” creates our faith in the first place. The Greek word used there can also mean “captain.” The word for “perfecter” means “completer” or “finisher.” He originates, creates, generates our faith. He captains, steers, controls our faith. We can fully trust Him to perfect, complete, sustain our faith.
Take a look at the paraphrase: “No extra spiritual fat…Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in… When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!” (Hebrews 12:1-3, MSG).
Each time we think of the One who originated and sustains our faith, and each time we remember the cross of Christ and all that’s been done to complete our faith, it revs our faith up all the more. We’re talking good adrenaline here. Not a strain on the heart. As a matter of fact, nothing is heart-healthier.
All the Lord has done for our faith is oh so enough. Our faith can rest in His “enough-ness.” The hymn says it so well:
My faith has found a resting place,
Not in device or creed;
I trust the ever living One,
His wounds for me shall plead.
I need no other argument,
I need no other plea,
It is enough that Jesus died,
And that He died for me.
(“My Faith Has Found a Resting Place” by Eliza E. Hewitt in Songs of Joy and Gladness, 1891)
Let’s fix our eyes on Him and His “enough-ness” and let our faith pleasantly rest there. And let it flourish there.
Faith in Him. Faith in what He accomplished on the cross. It’s faith folded into faith. And that’s beefy—in only the very best ways.