Become a Lesser Man
By Darren Marlar
Do you want to know the secret for getting people to compliment you on your weight or your figure? It’s easy. Buy pants that are three sizes too big. Suddenly you’ll hear things like, “Are you getting thinner? Those pants are just hanging on you!” I did that a couple of years ago with a moderate amount of success… until my waist and thighs decided to fill in the open gaps on their own. So now I’m legitimately trying to get into shape.
I Will Never Understand
By Ronnie Wyatt
I have been told that we grow wiser as we grow older. While there is some truth to that, I still struggle with a few things. Maybe you can help me with these. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is abbreviated" such a long word? Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Raising Chickens
By Ronnie Wyatt
A New York City yuppie had grown tired of the fast paced city life and decided to move to the country. Once he got settled in, the first thing that he did was to go to the local feed and livestock store.
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Farmer Brown was involved in a very serious accident in which a large trucking company was at fault. Needing help with his hospital bills, he decided to take the trucking company to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer began to question the old farmer.
Remember the Duck
By Ronnie Wyatt
Little Willy was visiting his grandparents. While there, he was given his first slingshot. He went out into the woods and practiced shooting at a self made target, but could not hit it to save his life.
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