Take My Zucchini, Please

By Lynn Rebuck –

It’s that time of the summer when I don’t know what to do with all of the zucchini growing in my garden. We cannot eat it as fast as it grows.  It seems like the innocent plants I bought at a local greenhouse and planted in my yard went from zero to zucchini overnight.  And it’s not only that these plants are prolific.

If you turn away for a second, the normal-sized zucchini that was on the plant a moment earlier grows to gargantuan size.  Now what am I to do with it?  I’ve given zucchini to the mailman, the dentist, and every person that walks past my house.  The other day I chased down a jogger just to provide one that he could use to ward off stray dogs.

My family has endured every culinary variation of zucchini.   I have made zucchini mousse, zucchini gelatin, and zucchini cupcakes. Those didn’t go over well with the 6-year olds at the birthday party.  I invented the zucchini split, complete with three scoops of zucchini ice cream, whipped cream, and a cherry tomato on top.  I do make one recipe that my family likes. I bake a combination of banana bread and zucchini bread.  I call it “Bikini Bread.”  The recipe is on my website, www.LynnRebuck.com.

I’ve even tried paying my debts with zucchini. The other day I handed the clerk a large zucchini to pay for my groceries.  She handed me some patty pan squash as change.

If you’re also overwhelmed by the abundance of zucchini in your garden, here are some suggestions for what to do with all of it:

Throw a zucchini skin care party, complete with squash facials and a slice of zucchini over each eye to remove puffiness (zucchini is the new cucumber).

Forget about T-ball and sign your kid up for the latest zucchini-inspired little league craze, Z-ball.  One child hit a three-run homer with a homegrown 23-inch zucchini.

Weave some strings through a couple of the broader ones, get a small ball, and play squash.

To deter automobile theft, place a large zucchini across your steering wheel.  Tell your friends it is the new green version of the “The Club,” then give them one for their car.

Make new friends who don’t have a garden.  Give them a zucchini gift basket.

If all else fails, you can do with your zucchini harvest what someone did a few years back with their garbage during a New York City garbage collection strike.  Unable to get rid of it, they wrapped it as a gift and left it in their unlocked car overnight.  Someone stole it.

Remember my new motto: “Speak softly, and carry a big zucchini.”

© 2011 Lynn Rebuck

I Don’t Want to Get Married!

By Jodi Whisenhunt –

My niece Chelsea will marry the love of her life on August 14, 2011. Chelsea was barely an adult when she and Rob met. He was more mature, with a bit more life experience. The couple dated a few months and sought the blessing of Chelsea’s parents before growing their relationship. Wonderful, loving ties have been established, and together they are planting a firm foundation for marriage.

Chelsea has asked all three of my children to participate in the ceremony. My eldest will usher, my daughter will scatter flower petals, and my youngest will bear the rings. The thought of Chelsea wedding warms my soul…and makes me feel really old! Chelsea was my flower girl back in 1993.

Back then, she was cute and confident (still is!). She said at the time that it was she who was getting married. After all, she was wearing a beautiful gown and walking down the aisle on the arm of a handsome young man donning a tuxedo. It would have been alright, except that right before they headed toward the alter, my ring bearer announced, “I don’t want to get married!”

I suppose the breakup was all for the best.

The Bible tells us that when a man and a woman marry, two become one. Seems like a crazy math problem: 1+1=1? But sometimes God’s wisdom makes more sense than it appears on the surface.

Genesis 2:24 says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” For what reason? Eve was made from a rib taken from Adam; a marriage reconnects what had been separated.

As the 14^th of August approaches, my prayer for my niece and almost nephew-in-law is a simple one. I pray that as they unite in this special bond, that they will be unified as one in Christ, that they would always place Him in proper position above all else—especially above each other and above their own desires. For it is only what God has joined together that “no man can put asunder.”

Write This Down

By Rhonda Rhea –

What do you do when you have a pen that won’t write? If you’re like most of us, you sling it a few times in that stabbing motion, hoping gravity is going to somehow jar the ink loose (I wonder if that’s ever really worked for anyone). Then you scribble. Then you scribble bigger and faster. Then frustration builds and you scribble harder. Then harder. You scribble until you tear a hole in the paper. Then you throw the pen. Then you look around to see if anyone saw you throw the pen. Then while you’re feeling silly about throwing the pen, you pick it up and pretend it just slipped out of your hand (yeah, sure—it slipped out of your hand and spontaneously flew across the room). Then you shrug and smile and put the pen in your pocket.

Then later you get home to find the pen leaked and left a giant splotch of blue on the front of your favorite shirt. Why can’t a pen simply consistently do its job without frustrating the tar out of us and making a big, fat mess?

I wonder if God ever asks that question about me. I think I’m a bit of a pen hypocrite. I’ll judge the pen for not consistently delivering and for making messes, but if I get honest, I’ll admit there are entirely too many times when I’m not consistent in the things the Lord has shown me. And even though I’m not where I know I should be or I’m not doing the things He’s already shown me to do, I’m fussing and scribbling because life isn’t unfolding the way I planned. What a mess. A mess that I’ve made with my own hand. And the ink ends up everywhere except where it was intended.

Life is much less messy when we stay consistent in His word and consistent in those things He’s called us to do. I know, no big revelation there. But sometimes it’s the simplest things that give us the most trouble. And it’s neglecting those simple disciplines that can leave us frustrated at the end of the day—big ink stain and no eternal fruit. Second Timothy 3:16-17 (NLT) says, “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.”

So here are today’s lessons to live by. Lesson number one:  Obey God. Number two is related:  Stay consistent in doing the things He tells us to do in His word and allow Him to give life meaning and make it fruitful.

Oh, and lesson number three:  A cheap pen is, what, less than fifty cents? When it won’t write, for heaven’s sake, just toss the thing and get a new one.

Common Cents

By Darren Marlar –

Recently Coinstar allowed the American public to give their thoughts on what should happen to the U.S. penny.

For a lot of us, the penny is nothing but a nuisance. For others though (two thirds of those surveyed), Uncle Sam should keep the copper coin in circulation. The survey also found that most people would stop to pick up ole’ Abe if we saw him on the ground looking up at us (84 percent of women and 74 percent of men).

But really, we can’t get rid of the penny. Society would crumble. Think about it. What about penny loafers? They’d cease to exist. And penny arcades are already gone forever!

You could never get paid a “Penny for your thoughts.” You’d have to share your opinions for free.

People would have no need for a savings account, because “a penny saved is a penny earned” would be completely meaningless.

You’d spend money without thinking about it because you could no longer be a “penny-pincher.”

What about “See a penny, pick it up, all the day you’ll have good luck”? You’d have to move it up to a nickel or dime – meaning good luck would suddenly be five to ten times more expensive.

Speaking of inflation, making a wish in a fountain would cost a lot more too.  And how do you tell a waitress that she gave you lousy service if you don’t have a penny to put on the table face down?

Of course, this is just my two cents on the issue. Take it now, because if the penny does disappear, I’d have to give you a nickel’s worth of advice, and I don’t have enough bandwidth for that.

Would You Smell This?

By Rhonda Rhea –

Tell me you’re not one of those people who says to another family member, “Hey, would you smell this?” Unless we’re talking fresh flowers, new cologne or hot-out-of-the-oven bread, that’s rarely a question that causes a family member think, “Oh boy, this is going to be great!”

Why is it that there are those who see chunks in the milk or come across questionable socks in between the clean and dirty pile of laundry, and (emphasis on this next part) being unwilling to sniff any of it themselves, sort of pawn the smell off on someone else? I don’t want to smell this. It might be disgusting. Here, you do it.

Isn’t the sense of smell the only one of the five senses that we regularly use as a weapon? It’s a little like chemical warfare, isn’t it? There should be a standing universal rule of etiquette, approved by the Geneva Convention, that says you should never ask anyone to smell something you’re not willing to smell yourself. Sort of a “smell unto others as you would have them smell unto you” rule. I don’t think we could call it a golden rule, but maybe at least aluminum.

On the spiritual side, anytime we encourage people to live a life of righteousness for Christ when we’re not living it ourselves, we’re definitely sniffing up the wrong tree, as it were. We need to make it our own personal universal rule to follow Jesus out of love for Him. It’s the right thing to do. And as a bonus, it’s a testimony that prompts those around us in right living. Psalm 106:2 asks the question, “Who can proclaim the mighty acts of the Lord or fully declare his praise?” (NIV). Then the psalmist answers the question in the next verse:  “Blessed are they who maintain justice, who constantly do what is right.”

Not to be too nosy here, but have you asked yourself recently if you’re making a positive difference in this world by the way you’re living? Are you maintaining justice? Constantly doing what is right? Is your testimony of righteousness influencing and inspiring those around you to live well too?

Making a personal rule of consistently doing what is right out of love for Christ is always the best idea. It’s ever so much more important than living life according to the aluminum rule—or any other precious metal rule we can come up with. A personal rule of obedience is one that helps spread the charge to right living beyond ourselves as we proclaim his mighty acts and fully declare his praise, just as the psalmist inspires. And that’s like a sweet smelling offering to the Lord. Isn’t that a blessing of the sweetest spiritual olfactory kind?

Of course back on the physical olfactory side, I’m thinking it’s also a good idea to make it a personal rule that if you see chunks in the milk, don’t even bother sniffing. Just have some coffee.

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