Cooking Can Be Dangerous

By Lynn Rebuck –

One typical evening, while attempting to cook dinner, I accidentally ignited the oil in the deep fat fryer, grated my knuckles into the carrot salad, and melted part of my thumb onto the 450-degree baking dish.  With both hands bandaged, I scrawled a message in crayon on a grocery receipt and tacked it up over my stove.  It has become my kitchen motto: “Cooking Can Be Dangerous.”

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Keep on Pluckin’

I have been molting all winter.

For months now, people have been treating me like a Perdue chicken by plucking feathers off of me wherever I go.  It’s the fault of my leaky down-filled coat.  I don my down in mid-September, and remove it in early June.  This winter, though, the down is trying to make an early escape.

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Going Viral

By Lynn Rebuck  

“Going viral” can be positive if your yodeling cat’s video has spread like wildfire over the Internet and Ellen has called to invite you to appear on her show.

Parts of the country have been going viral in a less desirable way as H1N1 and other viruses have wound their way through the states this flu season.

When a virus spreads quickly through a community or population, it is called an epidemic.  When it spreads around the world, it’s called a pandemic.  When it spreads through a family, I call it a “famidemic.”

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Scrapping Scrapbooking

By Lynn Rebuck       

I am, to put it kindly, crafting-impaired.

It’s not that I haven’t tried. I have often attempted a new craft, only to discover that I am not well-suited for it.

For instance, I tried Scherenschnitte, the intricate German art of paper-cutting. It didn’t take long for me to figure out that I am just not cut out for it. 

I bought the special scissors, learned the quick cutting strokes, and cut my heart out (well, I almost did, when one day I quickly tucked my scissors in my bra and forgot about them). In fact, I became a little compulsive about my new hobby.

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Glue Gun Control

By Lynn Rebuck

I am not good with a glue gun.

I can shoot a pistol with great accuracy at a paper target, but ask me to glue together paper from Target, and it’s a whole different story.

The glue gun is the weapon of choice for crafters worldwide, and quite frankly, I think we need stricter glue gun laws. This suggestion may upset some of you (especially members of the NGGA, the National Glue Gun Association), but hear me out. I think there needs to be a “cooling off” period before one is allowed to buy a glue gun.

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