Could Love Be My Forte?

By Heather Allen –

Love is not my forte. But I am clearly not alone. I was practically run over by a monster truck. While slowing down to make a turn, I inconvenienced him. His wild gesturing and finger raising left me with that impression anyway. The word love is used to encompass many feelings, but rarely shows up in its true form. I am guilty of this. I have professed a love for Ben & Jerry’s. Ice cream is much easier to love than the crazy man riding my bumper. Read more

Saying Sorry

By Heather Allen –

Today was a rough day.  My response was irritation.  I answered my children’s arguments in sharp staccatos.  I expected them to be grateful and quiet.  That did not happen, so I escaped to the backyard with my blanket and Bible.  I mentally numbered their transgressions.  When I searched for the right verse, to put things in perspective, I was deeply disappointed to find Proverbs 12:16. Read more

Intervention

By Heather Allen- 

When I was six I was overcome. I knelt down and confessed that I sinned, regularly, I needed someone who would intervene. I became a teenager. I wrestled with staying home from the parties that would spiral into intoxication and sensuality. Not because I wanted to go, but because I didn’t want to be left out. But then five drunken lives are permanently altered as their car runs off the road and headlong into a tree. Three are dead, two shattered, and my public school turned into a funeral home. The consequences of compromise are far worse than being alone. Weeks after death and regret, the parties kick up again. The pattern repeats. God stands near to the broken, will we turn, will we bid He intervene?

I become an adult. I look for a new pattern. Surely the church is transformed. Surely believers extend their arms. Surely, we the beloved of God flood love on all that is broken. But it is not so, and the mildew starts here in my own hearth. Growing from an insecure doubt that I am not who God says.

The foundation has been laid. Years and years ago. But human insecurity never quits whispering “You are not enough, you will never be enough.” I hold hands with the enemy inclining my head in agreement. “So here is the plan, look around you…you’re better than that guy over there, but you’re a loser compared to her. She would never be your friend, so just ignore her.” And it turns out that he has substance to spare, and she is hurting for a true friend.

My daughter and I take a drive. She abruptly turns to me “When we seek God’s glory we find our empty, lonely emotions overcome by the jolting purposefulness of living in God’s plan.” Is serving God, by loving others, worth trading for the emptiness found in seeking what’s best for self?

We sojourn together you and I, traversing the dusty Earth roads. Will we trip one another, or will we grab hold and run together? Will we live the beautiful blessing of discipleship and fellowship? Will we be the Pharisee or the Good Samaritan? Will we stop to help the ones left to die alone? Will we follow the Pharisee who uttered all the right words and never put them into practice, or will we be the Samaritan who cared more for a broken man than his own reputation, wallet, or time?

A few weeks ago, I walked by a woman who needs my friendship in order to chat with the friend I want. I felt a pinch in my spirit. I appealed for God’s strength to love others better than myself. He reminded me that small deeds of kindness are weightier than I fathom. Intervention in one life affects eternity. Christ made himself of no reputation in order to save us. So when He says “follow me” He is asking us to live from the knowledge that we are loved, valuable, and worth redeeming. This is home. A grounding point from which we find the stability and support to love our fellow traveler.

Proud

By Heather Allen —

He summons his advisors; he’s had a dream, and someone better tell him what it means. Magicians, sorcerers, astrologers, and enchanters are scratching their heads. How could they possibly know what Nebuchadnezzar dreamt? But it is their job to know. So they have two options: interpret the dream or be cut into pieces.

A guard comes for Daniel. The dream has not been interpreted, so Daniel’s life is required. Daniel pleads for time, and is granted it. He summons Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and together they seek the Lord. Miracles occur when we gather and pray. God gives Daniel an understanding of Nebuchadnezzar’s dream and its meaning.

God has used a proud king’s dream to foretell future events. The dream involves a giant statue and accurately predicts the kingdoms that would rule from Nebuchadnezzar’s Babylon until the end of days when Christ’s kingdom is established on the Earth. Nebuchadnezzar’s empire was represented by the golden head atop the statue. His empire would be the first of the last. Daniel tells Nebuchadnezzar that the kingdoms of men would ultimately be destroyed by the kingdom of God.

Nebuchadnezzar builds an enormous statue. I guess he was inspired by his dream. Perhaps he wanted others to see his greatness, his place as head of the empire. He decrees that the wise men and leadership of Babylon be rounded up so they can bow down and worship his statue. This time they can look forward to being thrown in a fiery furnace if they decline.

Someday this scenario will repeat. Revelation 13:15 says an image honoring the Anti-Christ will be constructed, and all humans will bow or forfeit their lives.

Somehow Nebuchadnezzar missed the import of his dream. His kingdom was temporary and would be crushed.

And that has me thinking. We as believers are given the same reminders. We are told to set our hearts on things above and to travel lightly, like strangers in this world. This world will pass in a flash. The next will last forever. Anything that is built for our glory will fall.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego stood when everyone else bowed. They knew the dream’s end. They knew that kingdoms built by men do not last. They were willing to stand alone. They laid down their positions and pride, willing to look foolish in order to walk right before God. They reverenced the true King. They would bow to Him alone.

These three men willingly walked death row. They were delivered and then promoted. The pattern repeats through the entirety of the book of Daniel.

I believe promotion comes from God, that a man who walks humbly with His maker is able to handle grander tasks because he has no illusion that he is able to accomplish them on his own. I also believe that God will lovingly keep us where we are positionally if promotion would fuel our pride rather than our dependence. Dependence enables us to stand when others bow. It enables us to walk a harder course, but in the end, we are choosing dependence over pride and life over death.

Praying

By Heather Allen –

It is late. A yawn slips past my lips. As I reach for a grocery cart, another mom pushes hers beside me. I smile at her gaggle of children. One of her toddlers stands at her side whimpering. She attempts to carry him with one arm and push her cart with the other. We trail each other from aisle to aisle. As we leave the cereal aisle and head towards paper products, my admiration grows. She herds her sleepy, slightly cranky crew with gentle correction. Her face is etched with exhaustion. Our carts pause simultaneously in front of the toilet paper. We smile at each other and attempt small talk. She tells me she just finished work and the cupboards were bare, so her long day is a bit longer. I silently wonder if she holds it all together by herself.

One of her toddlers reaches for me. I hold his chubby hands in mine. He slips them up around my neck, pulling me close. The yogurt on his face sticks to my cheek as he presses his face close. It does not matter, he needs a hug. Maybe I do too. The mom and I share a look of mutual surprise and joy.

My heart tugs. I remember what she needs, and I begin praying for her. For a few moments, my life is anything but ordinary.

Peter is in jail. James, his friend, is dead. King Herod finds favor with the Jewish leaders for harassing and killing the apostles. But the church is praying. While they gather together to intercede for Peter, an angel visits the jail and sets Peter free. At first he thinks it is a vision or dream, but moments later he greets those who have spent the evening praying on his behalf.

I have to confess, I do not understand how this divine conversation moves heaven to move on our behalf, I only know it does. I know Philipians 4:6 tells us to be anxious for nothing but to spend that energy praying instead. God’s word also tells us that confession brings healing and a persistent prayer life avails much. But then something upsetting happens in my life, and I pause over my contact list wondering who I should call first.

Ah I can be a silly girl. I have the King of heaven and earth asking that I call on Him. Why would I call a human first? His name should be the first on my lips.

I meditate on this. Convinced that the days I have lived extraordinarily are the days when I have responded to His presence, when my life has revolved around someone infinitely greater than I. This means talking to strangers when He prompts me and being willing to look foolish. It means choosing humility over self-image. It is hard. It is everything that my flesh would have me avoid. And yet, at the end of the day and at the end of my life, I do not want ordinary. I want to walk with Jesus, wherever He leads. Prayer is my response to His presence. It is allowing His thoughts to trump mine and His will to steer mine. It is servant-hood. It is finding my true calling.

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