I Can Do It Myself

By Jane Thornton 

“That’s just weird.”  My teenaged daughter scowls at a car when its driver honks at us.  We are walking in shorts and strappy shirts (soaking up some sun), headed to the Rec Center to work out.  “Maybe it’s someone we know.”  I try to catch a glimpse through the windshield as it passes.  “It was a guy, and I didn’t recognize the car.”  My mind flies to my husband’s admonition to be careful.  Although we live in Suburbia, USA, he gets anxious over our safety on the half-mile walk.  Yet, determined, we cling to our independence.  We offer reassurances:  it’s broad daylight; the street’s well-traveled, etc.  He concedes, we walk, and he worries.  I like being self-sufficient, and I want that trait in my daughter—but not to the point of foolishness.  I remember my pride, and frustration, as she reached age three.  Her typical claim:  “I can do it myself.”

She could dress herself.  True.  She didn’t always match, but her little naked body was covered.  She could tie her own shoes.  True.  Unfortunately, I usually failed to allow ten additional minutes for the task I could perform in thirty seconds.  She could pour her own Kool-aid.  Debatable.  Yes, the purple liquid filled the glass, but is also puddled on the table, dripped down the leg, and stained the red plaid shirt and green polka dot shorts she had donned earlier—all by herself.

A hard balance to strike—letting your child (or spouse, or sibling, or friend—whichever shoe fits) learn to be independent versus offering help or interference.  Sometimes I wonder how God can stand to watch us stumble along and make mistakes.  Does he get as aggravated with me as I do with my daughter and her homework?  She’ll be at the computer growling and eventually call out, “Mom will you come help me?”Being a super intelligent academician, I am always confident that I have advice to offer.  My first foray may earn, “That’s not what my teacher said”.The second attempt often incites her to sigh heavily.  “I already tried that.”After a third effort receives more growls of annoyance, I will throw up my hands and say, “Why did you ask me?”

Do I do that to God?  In one breath, cry out for help, in the next, revert to “I can do it myself?”  The Israelites serve as a warning:  He doesn’t like it.  But even after they tested his patience, He proclaims His character: “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion, and sin”.  Exodus 34:6-7a  NIV

God does not impose His will on us.  Examples of real people learning difficult lessons fill the entire Bible.  He allows us our independence.  But He stands ready when we finally acknowledge our dependence.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”  James 1:5 NIV

“For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, ‘Do not fear; I will help you.’”  Isaiah 43:13 NIV