Doormats

By Khristy Hullett 

Jesus was not a doormat.  He cleansed the temple with a whip.  He mesmerized crowds of 5,000.  He debated and stood up to the Pharisees and Sadducees.  He endured inhuman pain and death.  He was a man in the best and truest sense of the word.

Which leads me to being a little bit confused of late……it's bad enough that the world's prevailing view of Christians is that we are weak, but lately, I've seen Christians adhere to this same stereotype.  We don't want to do things that might hurt someone's feelings.  We're worried about being “nice” to the detriment of providing firm leadership and doing what is right.  It's buying into the world's perversion of what Christianity truly means.  First and foremost, our duty is to God.  We must do what is right.  Sometimes doing what is right is painful and makes people really uncomfortable.

Lately, I've seen godly men persecuted by other godly men simply because people felt uncomfortable—they were pushed out of their comfort zone.  Newsflash: growing up, whether it be physically, mentally, or spiritually, is often painful.  However, if we want to reach our full potential, it is necessary.  Being forced to stand on our own two feet is a blessing.  Unfortunately, I've seen many in the church pulling back from this concept because it's not “nice”.  We encourage co-dependency and become champion enablers.

Which leads me to a very profound statement: yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck.  No wonder I've found myself lamenting lately: “I just want people to act like grown-ups.”  We're living in a world, and often times a church, that doesn't require people to act like adults.  This is a problem with far-reaching ramifications.  Not only does it cause problems within in a church, but it causes me a huge parenting dilemma.  How do I raise my children to be what I consider a proper grown-up when:

*They are often not forced to face the consequences of their actions.  Saying sorry doesn't magically undo the action.
*They are often not required to exhibit consideration or good manners.
*Others lose on purpose to them because they don't want to hurt their feelings.
*They're told all children are equal in intelligence and ability.

And the list could go on and on.  And yes, I know that I am the main influence on my child's behavior.  I hold them to certain standards, and I am the one who can influence whether they learn to own up to their responsibilities, but I am saddened that this is so often becoming an uphill battle … that schools are becoming breeding grounds for mediocrity because no one wants to hurt  feelings … that churches are places that are supposed to make us feel good rather than act good.

So maybe this article is a eulogy to the last of the grown-ups.  Blessings on those of you who:

*do what you say you will when you say you will.
*show up to work every day … and never lie about being sick or gossip or backstab your boss.
*pay your bills on time.
*apologize when you misstep and face the consequences.
*complete all your tasks to the best of your ability—and don't do enough to just get by.
*leave things better than you found them.
*offer leadership as needed but can follow when necessary.
*make your children scrub the crayon off the wall—not do it for them.
*when the teacher calls with a problem, understand that your child is not perfect.
*know when to compromise and when to stand firm
*do what is right, even when it would be much easier not to.