He’s There

By Christina Puntigam

My prayers started out in the traditional Catholic sense, memorized.  By the time I had first communion, I had memorized quite a number of prayers, which at the time meant that I had a lot of stickers to show for myself.  Not too long after that, we switched to the Baptist church.  I changed from memorizing prayers to memorizing scripture and my sticker collection grew.  But my prayers were still the memorized ones that I said silently or out loud with my rosary on occasion, when I felt like I had done something worthy of repentance.
 
It probably wasn’t until sometime late in high school that I actually started using my own words to pray and at that point, I don’t think I would have wanted any of those conversations known.  I wasn’t very nice to God when I spoke to Him in those days.  
When I made it to college, I got involved with a Christian student group.  I started saying nice things to God again.  And, I even took the time to learn about prayer and all the different ways that we can express ourselves through prayer.

I started to talk to God a lot.  He became a very good friend of mine.  I liked discussing things in my life with Him.  It brought clarity to me and a sense of peace that filled up my entire being.
 
The summer after I started walking closely with God, I suddenly felt like He wasn’t there.  I would pray about the things going on in my life and I just felt like I was talking to a wall.  I wrote to my pastor and told him of my abandonment and he wrote back.  
That letter was as if God Himself were speaking to me.  His letter reminded me that I am never alone and that God is always with me, regardless of what I feel.  I am thankful for that moment because God taught me that regardless of what my emotions tell me, He is there with me.  That knowledge helps me to continue praying even now in my dry moments.  Because now I know that He is always listening.  

Hebrews 13:5b “God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (NIV)

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