The James Approach

By Elaine James –

When my son was about two years old he bit a little boy in a child play class we were taking together. The mother abruptly turned to me and blurted out “Why did your son do that? What are you going to do about that?”

I thought to myself: First of all, the bite did not break skin-thank goodness. Second of all, let’s let just ask him? Really?

I was appalled.  I wanted to lash back asking, “What did your son do that made my son bite him?” But I restrained myself.

I think we can find reasons daily to quarrel with anyone. I left that lady with a quarrel going on in my mind thinking, “I should have said that or next time I will say that.” Aren’t quarrels crazy?

James stated: “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness” (James 3:17-18 NIV). I use this as a guideline to go through my list of arguments against a person to see what my motives are all about.

Why quarrel? The James approach regarding wisdom is a great list to use as a self-exam so we can measure our reasons for not quarreling.

Joseph used the word “quarrel” when he made a deal with his eleven brothers to go retrieve their father Jacob and bring him back to Egypt. As they were getting ready to leave Joseph turned to them and said, “Don’t quarrel on the way!” (Genesis 45:24 NIV).  Joseph had an intuition just like James about wisdom. It helped him to deal with his brothers and to run the country of Egypt. He sowed in peace to reap a harvest of righteousness. Something he obviously knew his brothers lacked.

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1 NIV).