Let’s Be Honest!

By Gillis Killam –

While talking with some friends on the subject of confronting someone with whom you disagree, or responding to people who need to be faced with their actions, or wrong words spoken, we agreed that we often don’t want to speak up when we know someone is wrong, because we fear being rejected or marginalized.

This world is filled with people who don’t tell the truth. They lie to their neighbors and even to their friends. It happens every day when someone asks how we are and we automatically say, “O I’m fine! How are you?” Sometimes the truth is we are really not doing so well. This doesn’t seem much to be concerned about, but when it comes to being honest with people who ask a question, or make a statement that you know you should respond to – it matters.

It also happens in a group where we know there are differing ideas held by certain people. We just nod, or say nothing because we don’t want to get on the wrong side of someone, or we don’t want to be rejected. This tendency causes us to be reluctant to share our faith because it might offend someone.

We often don’t recognize these as lies; but they can be spoken in an effort to make a good impression on others. The Lord says, “Speaking the truth IN LOVE”(Ephesians 4:15 NIV). We don’t have to be rude or ungracious, but gently and lovingly share why we disagree. It may mean saying, “Do you really think so?” or, “I don’t see it that way.” or, we can say “This is what I think,” and proceed to share our thoughts. I am afraid we often lie when we don’t speak the truth in love.

There are some things that don’t matter and we must choose what is worth addressing. When we do we must be careful to be gracious and kind in our responses. It is important to attack the issue at hand, not the person. We must also remember that some things must be addressed in private and not in public.

Confrontation is important so that wrong information is not shared, and also for the good of the person who is sharing wrong information.

“ Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2 NIV).

A Mega-Complainer Repents

By Dawn Wilson –

The scenery surrounding Temecula, California, is gorgeous. My friend Judy told her daughter, Jennifer, about the time she took a drive through the wine country. Jennifer’s son, Connor, seven-years-old at the time, was sitting nearby, listening to their conversation.

Suddenly he piped up, “Wine country … is that where people go to complain?”

Although everyone laughed at his innocent question, complaining is not all that funny. Complaining – also known as grumbling, whining, murmuring, griping or belly-aching – only makes circumstances worse.

Christians tend to place complaining in a “lesser category” of sin, but God dealt with Israel’s complaints severely: “And the people complained in the hearing of the LORD about their misfortunes, and when the LORD heard it, his anger was kindled, and the fire of the LORD burned among them and consumed some outlying parts of the camp” (Numbers 11:1 ESV).

The Israelites’ attitudes displeased the Lord, not just because they were ungrateful for His provisions, but, at the root, they refused to trust His care, playing into the enemy’s hands. Complaining always opens the door to Satan’s destructive influence (1 Corinthians 10:10).

Complaining is simply one proof of an unbelieving heart. If we truly believe that God is in charge, our complaints about others or our circumstances are actually an accusation against Him (Exodus 16:8; Psalm 106:24-26). A godly perspective believes that God works for our good and can redeem any circumstance (Romans 8:28).

One of Jesus’ disciples, Jude, equated grumbling and complaining with ungodly deeds (1:15-16). Because complaining should never be part of believer’s conversations, the Apostle Paul instructed Christians to do “all things without complaining” (Philippians 2:14 NKJV).

Complaining arises not only from a heart of unbelief, but also from a heart of discontent. The Christian is called to find contentment in Christ (Philippians 4:11; Hebrews 13:5; 1 Timothy 6:8).

I was a mega-complainer as a young college student. I grumbled about the food, teachers, the weather – you name it! But a godly suite-mate cornered me one day while I complained about one of my classes.

“Dawn,” Janie said with love, “I’m concerned for you, because all of your complaints are idle words, and the Bible says you’re going to have to give an account for each one.” She pointed to Matthew 12:36-37. Under great conviction, I joined her in prayer, repenting of this sin God so clearly hates.

Janie then suggested I turn my complaints into trust and my murmuring into praises. It was a lesson I took to heart. I realized I had a choice. I might not be able to choose my circumstances, but I could always watch my tongue and express faith and joy.

Crumbs

By Cheri Cowell –

“Cheri, even the dog deserves your crumbs,” my mother would warn when I was being stingy and judgemental. Once again, unbeknownst to me, she was delivering a biblical truth. The first indictment in this statment is the division in my own mind of people into categories. We all do this, but it isn’t biblical. The second indictment was even more stinging. Without saying it outright, my mother was calling my attitude into question. I was judging some to be lowly like a dog, and therefore undeserving of my respect, love, and compassion. Jesus used these same points in this parable lesson.

The Gentiles were looked upon by the Jews with great contempt. They were called and counted as dogs. But see how the tables are turned. After the bringing of the Gentiles into the church, the Jewish zealots for the law are here called dogs. This parable cautions us to beware of our own tendencies to divide people into categories and to label some as worthy and some as unworthy. God has a way of turning tables on us and we may be the ones begging for crumbs from His table.
“Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.” Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.” He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.” The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said. He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” “Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment” (Matthew 15:21-28 NIV).
PRAYER: Dear God, please forgive me for the times when I’ve bowed to the tendency to categorize people and thus label some as more worthy of my love, respect, and compassion. Help me to respond more like Jesus who views all as worthy and valuable children of God.

The Fourth Grade Sack Race

By Rosemary Flaaten –

I once had a first year college student tell me that everything he was learning in my class on Spiritual Formation he had learned in fourth grade Sunday School. I have to admit, for a fleeting minute, I seriously contemplated giving him a big fat “F” on his next assignment, simply for having a lousy attitude. But as I got past my self-righteousness, I wondered how often God must witness a similar attitude emanating from me.

“God, haven’t I been down this road before?”
“How much longer do I to have to put up with this cantankerous boss?”
“Why is this happening to me again?”

Life is like a spiral where we come around to the same spot with the same issues and often even with the same people. But if we allow it, that spiral will take us deeper into the issue affording us the opportunity to grow in our understanding and relationship with God and in our self-awareness. John Calvin, and a number of other writers, purported that as we come to know God we will come to know ourselves and that as we come to know ourselves more fully, our understanding of God will expand.

Our Christian walk is described by Paul as a race that we run. If we take the approach to my college friend’s statement, my response to Paul would be “I ran sack races in fourth grade, why do I need to go for a run today? After all, I’m smarter now so there must be some new way of working my muscles and training my body.” But running a race involves continual training. My race will be stunted if my present workout resembles my childhood sack race.

The exercises of spiritual formation, such as a variety of spiritual disciplines, are not new but in order to have a robust faith, we must allow the Holy Spirit to push the spiral deeper into our lives to create training that makes us more like Christ. Let us not resist the needed repetition but rather embrace it as the opportunity for maturity.

Prayer: Lord, help me to have the heart of a learner that is open to your guidance and instruction.

“…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith…” (Hebrews 12:1-2 NIV).

Straight Talk

By Hally Franz –

As the mother of a teenage son, the mention of staphylococcus brings to mind unfortunate scenarios, potentially caused by sweaty, unwashed boy germiness, sports and open wounds. I’ve not personally faced that situation, but I know it is out there. So, when our minister began to speak one day about David, his “staff,” and its various uses in Bible times, I had to make the mental switch for the context.

As my 11-year-old daughter read from a “Little House on the Prairie” book one day, she asked me about the word “gay” that was used in the text. As a child, I understood that word to mean “happy” or “light in mood.” However, her experience has taught her something completely different, which didn’t seem to connect with the story she was reading. I provided an explanation about the meaning of the word “gay,” and how it has changed over time.

So much of the information we receive is subject to interpretation, context and culture. Messages that should be crystal clear are often made murky when presented in a certain way, or in another voice. One’s motive and mission can cloud and entirely change a communication in one direction or another. We often see this in politics and the media, where it sometimes seems impossible to get the real story.

As parents, we have a responsibility to be agents of truth for our children. And, our resource should be the ultimate book of truth. Just as our Father has given all of His children instructions on how to live, we should convey those to our children as simply and clearly. We ought to teach our young people the eternal meanings of words like: salvation, commands, baptism, sin and love, and the everlasting importance of people like Joseph, Moses, Ruth, Jonah and Dorcas.

In a time when it is so difficult to know what and who to believe, let’s equip our children with the one constant, unchanging message of truth – His word.

PRAYER: Heavenly Father, grant me the wisdom I need to teach Your truth and present a life of truth to my children, so that they are not confused or distracted by wrong messages in the world.

“Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long” (Psalm 25:5 NIV).

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