October 13, 2021 by  
Filed under Humor, Stories

By Rhonda Rhea –

I was born in Texas. We’re mostly big sneezers there. It’s widely accepted that Texans do everything bigger. No wimpy little “achoo.” No, that’s simply not “Texas” enough. My sneeze, for instance, comes out in sort of a “Yah-hoo!” Heavy on the “yah” and extra, extra heavy on the “hoo.” It could hardly get more Texan than that—unless maybe I roped and branded something in the middle of the sneezing.

My Texas sneeze has a heaping helping of reverberation in it too. It can give ringing ears to everyone within an eighth of a mile radius for a good ten minutes. My husband says my sneeze registers 8.7 on the Richter scale. He’s exaggerating, of course. It’s probably barely a 4.

But to top it all off, my husband also tells me I always sneeze in nines. I think it’s interesting that he accounts for all of them. But then maybe it’s a little like counting down a missile launch. Except that it’s more like a missile launch…times nine. He’s asked that I start yelling “Incoming!” before the first sneeze launches. I hate to say it, but reverberation is not always a good thing.

It is a good thing, though, when we’re launching the grandest of all proclamations. Here’s hoping we can add even more decibels in proclaiming the message of Christ to a hopeless world. We have the message they need. That’s hope that’s worth yahooing about. Hope not just times nine. Hope times infinity.

Hold back my sneeze? I’m pretty sure I’d explode. We can’t hold back the message either. Peter and John got that. “For we are unable to stop speaking about what we have seen and heard,” (Acts 4:20, HCSB).

How can we not share it? Jesus Christ went to the cross and suffered that cruel, humiliating death on the cross to make it possible for us to have a right, tight relationship with our holy Heavenly Father. Astounding. The sinless Christ on a cross, hated and shamed, bearing our sin. All for our redemption.

God didn’t keep secret His plan for getting the word out about that redemption. He chose us for the job. First Peter 2:9 says, “You were chosen to tell about the wonderful acts of God, who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light,” (NCV). The Father could’ve blasted the Good News over the most reverberating heavenly tweeters and woofers. He could’ve put it on YouTube. He could’ve beamed it over every satellite—or written in the stars, for that matter. He could’ve had the rocks cry out or used some sort of earthquake-attention-grabber. And He does so often use innovative ways to get His word out to those who need it. But the bottom line in His plan is for us to tell. What an honor it is to be included in that plan! That’s nothing to sneeze at, for sure.

And speaking of sneezes, you’re going to think I’m making this part up, but I started sneezing while I was writing this. Totally true. Mid first paragraph even. I haven’t seen the cat for over an hour.

About Rhonda Rhea

Rhonda Rhea is a radio personality, conference speaker, humor columnist and author of eight books, including High Heels in High Places and How Many Light Bulbs Does It Take to Change a Person? You can find out more at
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2 Responses to “Sneeze-quake”
  1. Kathleen says:

    Rhonda, I SO enjoyed reading this post. Your writing is wonderful — funny, yet succinct and to the point. A model for me!
    But the main thing is I don’t think I’ll ever sneeze again without thinking of your message. Thank you. (By the way, if your Texas sneeze is a 4, my husband’s EAST Texas sneeze is probably at least a 6!!)

  2. Rhonda Rhea says:

    Thanks so much, Kathleen! Hey, we’re sneezing our way to some sort of spiritual growth. More fun when we do it together. :o) Do be careful of those East Texas sneezes. I’ve heard they cause a drop in the barometric pressure.

    Appreciate your comments, sister!

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