Things Change

By Lori Freeland –

Love you—the text read.

And I was doing better too. Hadn’t cried in over 22 hours. My eyes were just to the point of deswelling and the gigantic gaping ache in my heart slowed to a smaller, more tolerable throb.

Kyle’s text negated all that.

Not that I didn’t want to hear from him, because I did. But knowing he was so far away—an unhuggable, unreachable distance—made me want to wrap my arms around him even more.

Things change. Time grows our children. Life opens up new doors. I know this. I expected this. I even wanted this.

But still—change hurts. Even when it’s good.

Last weekend, my husband and I moved Kyle, my oldest child, to college. Four hours away. It’s what’s supposed to happen. I birthed him, I raised him, and I loved him—and now I let him go. It’s the clichéd natural order of things.

Only letting go is not that easy when you actually have to do it.

When you have someone in your life for eighteen years and you worry about him, pray and anguish over his relationships, his heart, and his health for 6570 days, 22 hours, 37 minutes, and 15 seconds, he’s kind of stuck to you. A part of you.

And that’s not easy to shake.

My role in Kyle’s life has changed. I know that. But it’s going to be a journey. At least for me. He’s having the time of his life and I’m glad.

I’ll let you know how it goes for me and what God teaches as I transition from hoverer to distant advisor.

Love you—I reread the text. Wiped away a tear. And straightened my shoulders.

Love you more—I texted back.

Some things won’t change and for that I’m grateful.

Have you ever have trouble letting someone go?

Back by Closing Hymn

By Carol Barnier –

I love going to church. My favorite time is not the singing. Nor is it the time of greeting when we wander about the congregation seeking people with hands to be shaken and peace to be shared, and then once safely back in the pews, quietly put on disinfectant to avoid one of the Holy Plagues.

Nope, my favorite part is . . .

The sermon.

Not just the sermon, which is always good, but my mental meanderings away from the sermon, which delight me just as much.

Here’s how it works.

Pastor: Paul was lowered over the side of the city wall in a basket.

Me: Wow. That must have been some basket. I don’t have a basket anywhere NEAR strong enough for that. Grant you I have one that holds about 50 pounds of onions…which, come to think of it is almost empty…I wonder if Paul ate onions?… I’d better get to the store this week…but I really hate shopping…although they’ve installed that little café mocha dispenser now… I just wish it wasn’t in the refrigerated foods section—waaay too cold…I suppose I could wear my winter coat…I wonder if Paul ever wore a winter coat? What’s winter even like in Jerusalem? I wonder if…wait…what is that sound…I hear music…why is everybody standing…oh…it’s the closing hymn. Time to rise Carol.

I’ve heard there are people who have linear thoughts. Supposedly, these folks start a thought, think about it, and then complete it. They can focus intently on a 90-minute lecture regarding the historical derivatives of the word hermeneutics while never losing their train of thought. They actually have a train. I have more of a hot air balloon. I’m just as interested as getting to my location as the folks on the train, but I’m blown about a wee bit by the wind, meandering here and there, seeing things that weren’t on the agenda, but nonetheless are still quite lovely.

On any given Sunday, my mind will wander off the sermon, just the tiniest bit, and is now thinking about the back of that woman’s head, and why she let her roots grow so long and if the root plants in my garden are ready to be pulled since it looks like snow and I really should stop and pick up a new shovel and … “Carol,”…the pastor says cheerily, “Could you tell us why you believe the Apostle Paul was so quick to judge the church in Ephesus?”

Blink.

Blink Blink.

I’m pretty sure it had nothing to do with roots. And my other usually safe fallback of always answering “Jesus” wasn’t going to work here either. Man! Where do I get one of those linear thought patterns?

So far I’ve been lucky. My pastor has continued with the traditional model of preaching as a single participant event, not a team sport. That’s good because. . .I’ve never been good at sports. . .although I once thought I’d like gymnastics. . .till I saw that Olympic girl bend herself in half backwards. . .which I’m thinking causes spinal cord damage. She looked like a pretzel. . .we haven’t had pretzels in a long time. . .maybe I should get some next time I’m in. . .  <watch the balloon drift away>

Prince Charming

By Carin LeRoy –

He caught my eye right away–the tall, lean guy with sun-bleached hair. It was love-at-first-sight for me. A mutual friend introduced us in the hallway during my first week of college.

Wow, I thought, I’d love to go out with him.

As a young girl, I had dreamy thoughts of who my Prince Charming might be and what he’d look like. Would he be tall or average height? Would he be blue or brown-eyed? What color would his hair be? Would he be handsome and funny? I had this weird idea that God would probably give me a husband, but that I’d probably not like him too much. Or that he’d be a great Christian, but he’d be ugly. God would give everyone else a great guy, but he’d give me the leftovers.

I remember the day the tall, lean guy with the sun-bleached hair sat by me in class. It was the end of my junior year in college, three years after I’d met him. (I guess it took him a while to notice me!) My heart must have skipped several beats.

“Hi,” he said calmly, “mind if I sit here?”

Are you kidding? I don’t think I absorbed too much of the lecture that day.

Yes, I married the tall, lean guy with the sun-bleached hair. He was everything I’d hoped for and far more. His devotion for God, his love and faithfulness to family, and his commitment to serve others made him my ideal choice. Marriage isn’t always perfect as you work through some of the bumps, but he’s definitely perfect for me.

What made me think that God would give me the ugly leftovers in a guy? Sometimes we have a distorted view of who God is. God loves to surprise us with the great plans He has for us–if only we’d just be patient and wait. Too many times we jump ahead of God’s plan, and then we live with that regret. So whatever place you find yourself today, remember that God does have a great plan for you, too. Be willing to wait on His timing.

PRAYER: Lord, thank You that You have great plans for me. Give me understanding and a proper view of who You are. Help me not to be impulsive and jump ahead of Your plan, but give me patience to wait for Your timing in my life.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 29: 11-14 NIV).

I Don’t Want FRA!

By Janet Morris Grimes –

She walked her daughter gingerly into the school for her first day of Kindergarten. Other students dwarfed the tiny girl, and her new school uniform was bigger than she was. Her eyes widened as she took in all that surrounded her. Brightly colored letters splashed across the walls, more intimidating than welcoming, as they announced things she could not yet understand.

The teacher knelt to meet her face to face. She seemed friendly enough, but the girl buried herself into the legs of her mother. She attempted to climb up her mother. To squeeze tighter. To somehow regain the life that she felt slipping from her fingers.

How had she gotten here? Just yesterday, her days were filled with playtime with her baby sister, splashing in the backyard pool, or riding her bicycle. Popsicles dripping down her chin after lunch, staying up late and sleeping as late as possible. Just yesterday, her home was the center of her universe.

Each day, the same scene played itself out. Tears, sobs, and unanswered questions. Why did it all have to change? What happened to the way things used to be?

Every day, as she put on her uniform, she cried all the way to school, saying over and over again. “I don’t want FRA! I don’t want FRA!”

A dear friend shared this story with me about her daughter’s first week of Kindergarten. It took them most of the week to figure out what she was saying. And why.

FRA, as it turned out, stood for Franklin Road Academy, the name of the private school where she attended. Those initials were on the sign in the front, on the uniform shirt that she wore each day, and on the shirts of her classmates.

She didn’t even know what to call it. Her unexpected surroundings. And though she couldn’t read, she was smart enough to know what those letters said. And to know that she wanted no part of it. Whatever FRA stood for, she wanted out.

I fully understand how she feels. There are many times when my surroundings were changed without notice. My life shifted to a completely new direction, without my permission.

There are many days I feel like screaming, “I don’t want FRA!” Whatever this is, even if I don’t know what to call it, I want no part of it. I want everything to go back to the way it used to be.

The good news is that Jesus is already there, in the midst of our FRA’s. He makes a way for us. He is never surprised by our circumstances. When we face them, and it’s all that we can do to cling to him and cry, he is there.

This beautiful girl went on to adore her Kindergarten experience. As a matter of fact, she thrived.

Jesus wants the same for us. And He knows us well enough to know that it may be our unpleasant and unexpected circumstances that cause us to reach out to Him.

“You hem me in, behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me” (Psalm 139:5 NIV).

Integrity. You in the Dark.

By Lori Freeland –

Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a dark room. No windows. No doors. Not even a sliver of light leaking through. Now pretend there’s a group of people locked in there with you. They’re counting on you to show them the way out.

Are you radiating an inner glow, a natural shine that lights up the room, chases away the shadows, and draws people toward you?

Did you cheat and bring a flashlight, faking your brightness with batteries and an artificial beam? Are you blinding the people counting on you, burning their eyes, and ruining their vision?

Maybe you blend into the shadows, meshing so well with the darkness no one even knows you’re in the room. You’re untraceable, even with night goggles, leaving the crowd to believe they’re on their own.

Integrity is who you are when no one is looking. Integrity is who you are in the middle of a black room where you could choose to stay hidden. Integrity is you, in the dark.

Jesus radiated integrity. He was exactly who He claimed to be, all the time, even when He was alone. He embraced light. He exuded light. He was light.

“When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life’” (John 8:12 NIV).

Pick up your integrity, step into Jesus’ light, and go illuminate the world.

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