Can You Read My Mind?

By Jane Thornton –

They say grooms don’t care about wedding ceremonies, passing responsibility for colors, flowers, food, and songs to the bride. Not so for my groom. Although he voiced no opinion on colors, except to lay down the law against a pink tux (darn it), he did participate fully in the music choices.

We easily settled on Friends are Friends Forever as à propos for our attendants’ entry. Although losing touch seems inevitable, we knew we would always consider these people friends. Romantically seeing rescue in each other from all emotional struggles, we agreed on Bridge over Troubled Water for one of the introductory songs.

I was excited about my latest discovery. “How about Amy Grant’s Doubly Good for your entrance?”

His brow creased and a speculative gleam entered his eye. “I don’t know.”

“Do you know the lyrics? ‘ If you find a love that’s tender, if you find someone who’s true, then thank the Lord; he’s been doubly good to you.’” Hugging him, I was a bride in alt. “It’s perfect.”

He agreed, but not with great enthusiasm. He was too modest, but I knew how wonderful God had been to me by bringing us together. I wanted the audience to think about how blessed I was in this handsome, godly man.

Anniversary night, five years later, we snuggled down on the couch with our two-year-old son to reminisce over our wedding video. Watching my dad touch my face, tears shimmered across my eyes as I remembered that shaky, excited feeling.

Piano chords chimed over the lawn. Sober, yet calm, Wes entered to stand under the moss-draped live oak while Amy Grant crooned the first line. I sighed, “He truly was doubly good in sending you to me.”

Wes flicked my hair. “Hmm. I thought you meant for me to think about how He’d been doubly good to me by sending you.”

Horror washed over me. With a shriek, I paused the video. “What?” My gaze flashed back and forth between the puzzled, downturned lips on his live face to the serious stare on his filmed self. “You thought I was telling you how lucky you were?” My voice rose to a squeak.

“I am lucky…blessed.” He stroked my shoulder then ruffled our son’s hair.

A gesture that would normally comfort only scraped my raw nerves. “How arrogant did you think I was?”

Honest to a fault, he shrugged. “Maybe I was a little put off at first, but the lyrics were still true.”

Amazing that he could think so when he thought he was marrying a conceited, self-righteous prig who wanted him to dwell on how blessed he was to get her. My heart mourned over the frozen image. At a time when I wanted him to be feeling adored and respected, he was feeling forced gratitude.

I punched the play button. “Watch it now, knowing that it was supposed to be about you.” My stomach churned, but I tried to calm down and enjoy his annual teasing about my forgetting part of our vows.

How many times do we think we understand or have made ourselves understood? How many miscommunications go undiscovered? We could drive ourselves crazy with the ponderings.

How many times do we misunderstand God? But He has promised His Spirit will help us with that:

“The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God… no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God… we have received … not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us… ‘Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?’ But we have the mind of Christ” II Corinthians 2:10-12, 16 (NIV).

Comment prompt: Any miscommunications you’d like to share?