Forgiveness Trumps Conventional Wisdom

By Bruce Hebel –

Brad and Molly came to us in crisis. Three weeks earlier Molly had discovered Brad’s pornography addiction and his multiple affairs, including Molly’s best friend, Brad’s best friend’s wife and prostitutes. She was shocked.

A couple of days after the initial confrontation, Brad picked up his Bible. As he began to read, something inside him broke. For two hours he tearfully read the Bible and for the first time, understood the grace of God and the forgiveness provided for him through the blood of the cross. He was dramatically transformed. Heart cleansed. Desires changed.

Molly recognized the change but couldn’t get over the offense. “I thought we had a great marriage. I swore I would not be like my mom, but now I have become my mom because he has become my dad.” She went on to explain how her father would leave her in the car as an alibi while he had affairs with women.

Conventional wisdom wouldn’t give this couple good survival odds, but conventional wisdom doesn’t understand the power of forgiveness. I looked at Brad and asked who hurt him as a child. He described the horrific sexual abuse his sister committed against him from the time he was five years old until he was age eleven. We gently told him, “You must forgive your sister.”

As Brad began to forgive the numerous wounds from his sister, Molly began to weep uncontrollably. Toni knelt beside her and cradled Molly in her arms. After Brad finished forgiving the wounds from his sister, he forgave himself.  I asked him  “How is your heart?” He told us he would never have believed his heart could be any better than the day he trusted the Lord, but in fact it was better now than ever. He was unmistakably free.

Then Toni looked at Molly and said, “You won’t be free, totally free, until you also walk through forgiveness.” After forgiving Brad and her father, the change in her countenance was remarkable and as they stood up to leave, Molly embraced Brad for the first time in three weeks. In fact, on the way home, she unbuckled her seat belt and slid over and snuggled next to him. He almost wrecked the truck! When we saw them a month later she told us their marriage has never been this good. Forgiveness trumped conventional wisdom.

AUTHOR QUOTE: Jesus never let the offence determine whether or not He would forgive someone!

“He himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world” (1 John 2:2 NASB).

Today’s devotional is by Bruce Hebel, President of Regenerating Life Ministries (forgiving forward.com) and Adjunct Professor at Carver Bible College. Bruce is the author of the seminar and soon to be published book “Forgiving Forward: Unleashing the Forgiveness Revolution” He is a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary and, along with his wife Toni, has served in pastoral ministry for over 35 years.

Resolving to Forgive

By Bruce Hebel –

Every year at this time people all over the world are taking life assessments and looking for ways to improve themselves in the coming year. We call this “making a New Year’s resolution.” A New Year’s resolution is a commitment an individual makes to a lifestyle change for the better. It often involves breaking a bad habit or starting a good one. Every Top 10 List of resolutions includes losing weight. Pay attention over the next few days to the morning shows and magazines at the checkout. Everywhere you look you will see people claiming to have a surefire way to help you lose weight and keep it off. It just makes sense. After Thanksgiving, the Christmas parties, cookie exchanges and all those Christmas goodies at Grandma’s, most of us have mid-sections that bear more resemblance to a barrel than a six-pack.

Let me suggest that there’s different type of weight we need to lose which doesn’t show up in larger belt sizes or groaning scales. I’m talking about the weight of old wounds we have not forgiven. Unforgiveness weighs us down and wears us out. This type of heaviness is much more harmful to us than the kind we get from that second helping of Blue Bell ice cream. Unforgiveness, according to Matthew 18, leads to the heavy burden of torment. Forgiveness takes the weight off.

Recently I helped a lady walk through the protocols of forgiveness toward her ex-husband who had cheated on her and abandoned her many years before. After she chose to forgive and sealed her forgiveness by praying a blessing over him, she said to me “I feel like I can exhale for the first time in years. My heart is so much lighter. I can feel it relaxing.” We have helped hundreds of people make the choice to forgive wounds, which in some cases, were almost unbearable. Every time someone has made a commitment to forgive, they have proclaimed that their heart is lighter and they can breathe again.

So let me recommend a New Year’s resolution for you. Ask God if there is someone you need to forgive and for what. Then choose to forgive them. When you do, you will experience the quickest weight-loss of your life.

AUTHOR QUOTE: God expects forgiven people to forgive others!

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25 NIV).

Today’s devotional is by Bruce Hebel, President of Regenerating Life Ministries (forgiving forward.com) and Adjunct Professor at Carver Bible College. Bruce is the author of the seminar and soon to be published book Forgiving Forward: Unleashing the Forgiveness Revolution. He is a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary and, along with his wife Toni, has served in church ministry for over 35 years.