Forgiveness is a Choice

A misconception I often hear regarding forgiveness is it can take a long time. The thought process goes something like this: the deeper the wound, the longer it takes to recover. Minor offenses can be forgiven quickly, but major offenses can take years to process and forgive. I’ve even heard certain offenses describe as “unforgivable.” But is that really true? Is the speed of forgiveness determined by the depth of the wound? I think not.

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Sour Grapes

“Are you enjoying those sour grapes?” my parents would rhetorically ask when I complained about something that hadn’t gone my way. I hated that remark, mainly because, rather than give credence to my whining, a spotlight was shown on my what about me attitude. As I read the last chapter of the book of Jonah and heard his complaining, I was reminded of the sound of my own youthful voice. And, I have to admit, it’s a voice I still use. How often do you or I claim unfairness when God blesses someone whom we feel isn’t deserving, or when God saves a disgraceful person in their eleventh hour, or chooses to deliver someone whom we believe should be punished? God feels compassion for people whom we have judged, and fortunately for us, God also overlooks our sour grapes.

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Setting Sarah Free

I met Sarah for the first time when I walked into the office of a pastor friend. Tom asked me if I would help her work through her forgiveness issue. At 59, Sarah’s furrowed brow and grooved frown lines flashed pain like neon lights—she had been hurting for a very long time. I introduced myself and assured her I was there to help. I told her that nothing she said would shock me or affect what I thought of her. It would, however, affect how I helped her. With that she relaxed and began to open up and tell her story.

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Haiti: Jesus or Judgment?

Is God judging Haiti? After all, this is a country known for its witchcraft and child slavery. Did God finally zap them?

I had a college professor who once insinuated that God doesn’t do things like that. In the cafeteria of my Baptist college, students debated whether or not AIDS was God’s judgment on homosexuals. Some felt a loving God would not do such a thing. I pointed out that God once sent poisonous snakes as a wake up call to his children in the wilderness.
My professor was incredulous, “Do you think God actually did that?” he asked.
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To Forgive or Not To Forgive – That is the Question?

Some time ago, our doorbell rang and we opened the door to a familiar yet not so familiar face. Emma, normally upbeat and full of life, was now standing before us with a blank, emotionless face and eyes filled with anguish. Something was dreadfully wrong.

In the next two hours Emma poured out her heart. She had been in a serious relationship that recently ended, leaving her feeling violated and betrayed. The wound was deep. The betrayal had gone public when her boyfriend announced on Facebook that he was now in a relationship with another man. She was devastated. As we showed her God’s perspective on her situation and led her through the protocol for finding peace, the lights began to come on in her eyes and we witnessed an incredible transformation take place in Emma.
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