Deadly, Dawdling Dial-up vs. Instant Eternal Access

April 24, 2019 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Robin J. Steinweg –

Click. Hear the bloops and bleeps as the telephone dials for Internet service. Feel the impending tedium as you prepare to wait. Pretend with me exactly as I did—when I still had deadly dial-up:

Click—wait for Home page: Pretend to walk upstairs, put on coat, grab keys, go out to the garage, get in the car, put keys in the ignition, buckle seat belt, adjust mirrors, turn on Life 102.5 Christian radio…

Home Page at last! I want the library’s online catalogue. Click—wait: Put car in reverse, back out, wait for neighbor to cross the street for the mail, head for fifteenth street, turn onto Grande, pass high school at 15mph, stop at crosswalk for sleepy-looking teens…

Library page! Click—wait for Search page: Drive 4 blocks to stop sign at 5th, wait for crossing guard to maneuver a 3-foot tall boy with a 4-foot tall backpack across the street, wait for bus in front of me to turn, make silly faces at waving children in back window, pass grade school, continue 4 blocks to stop sign at Water Street, wait for five cars, turn right…

Finally! Type in full title of book, Click—and wait: Proceed south on Water for 2.2 miles, turn in at library parking lot, park, turn off car, remove seatbelt, get out, lock doors, walk up sidewalk, in the door, wipe feet…

Ah Ha! Click to check out book—and wait: Walk past check-out, greet friendly librarian, admire her antique pin, head for the stacks, look for desired book, back to check-out for expert help, follow librarian to the stacks, find book plus three more, back to check-out, lay books on counter, dig for library card, hand it to smiling librarian (who swipes it, swipes books and hands back my card in 4 seconds flat because she has High-Speed Internet), take books to car…

What? The book I want is not available; I need to execute a search for another? Ack!

Before High-Speed Internet, before Dial-up, before computers, before electricity, there was instant communication with the Source of all knowledge and wisdom. The Maker of all makes Himself available to all at all times. Unhindered by time, He has all eternity to consider each word we pray. Before a word is on a person’s tongue, He knows it completely.

AUTHOR QUOTE: Prayer. Faster than High-Speed Internet / More powerful than the IBM Roadrunner /Able to leap cyberspace or the entire universe in less than an attosecond.

“Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear” (Isaiah 65:24 NIV).

Today’s devotional is by Robin J. Steinweg. Robin’s life might be described using the game Twister: the colored dots are all occupied, limbs intertwine (hopefully not to the point of tangling), and you never know which dot the arrow will point to next, but it sure is fun getting there!

Bark, Please

April 22, 2019 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Robin J. Steinweg –

The front door stood open a few inches. I knew I’d locked it that morning. As we returned after dark, our son saw someone in the living-room, hunched over. I backed out and called 9-1-1. From a safe distance I watched two police officers enter my shadowy house with guns drawn.

They came out with good news. Nobody there, nothing harmed. How to avoid this in the future? Have a locksmith refigure the locks and get a dog. Barking dogs are a great deterrent to intruders.

At the humane shelter, Buddy sat politely in the midst of the other dogs’ frenzied barking, gazing at us. We brought home our canine alarm system.

But Buddy didn’t bark. I determined to train him. How does one train a dog to bark?

One barks.

I barked. Buddy and our boys watched. When I’d barked enough, I gave myself a treat (cookie). If Buddy even looked like he was interested, I gave him a treat (bone). I barked daily. Weekly. Monthly. I barked myself hoarse. We went through boxes of expensive treats for people and dogs with no sign of progress. I felt pretty foolish barking when there really was someone at the door. But I didn’t want my sons to see me give up. I wanted them to learn perseverance (I also wanted the dog to bark).

Finally Buddy’s lip twitched. I praised and petted him. When his lip curled, I praised him more. When he snorted a bit as his lip curled, I fawned over him. Eventually, he vocalized the tiniest bit. I went nuts. When he finally did bark, I rolled over, howled, sat up, everything but play dead. He knew he’d done something great. And he kept on doing it (in a week or so we’d trained him to quit barking when asked).

Someone has said, “The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running.”

What do you face today that you’re tempted to abandon? Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who endured the cross—so that you won’t grow weary and lose heart.

QUOTE: “The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground” (unknown).

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9 NIV).

Today’s devotional is by Robin J. Steinweg. Robin’s life might be described using the game Twister: the colored dots are all occupied, limbs intertwine (hopefully not to the point of tangling), and you never know which dot the arrow will point to next, but it sure is fun getting there!

Let ’em Fly

April 19, 2019 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Hally Franz –

For months I have admired the ornate and bold Zumba skirts worn by fellow Zumba classmates. The skirts, of shiny, gauzy fabrics come in orange, fuchsia and purple, are bedazzled with gold beads and spangles, and resemble the shape of a sarong. Zumba, in my mind, is jazzercise for the 2010s. The skirt, basically a scarf worn around the waist and over clothes, is a cutesy accessory that jingles and shimmers during the workout.

I’ve previously resisted the urge to skirt-up for class, recognizing this would draw attention to an already fairly noticeable part of my anatomy. However, today, it was too much. Our instructor arrived with a tote of zumba clothes, and I could restrain myself no longer. Plus, it’s Friday. So, I tied one on just in time for the music to start. Within seconds, worry replaced excitement. What if I got a defective skirt, scarf, whatever? What if the strain is too much? What if three songs in, the few hundred charms and jewels no longer hold and begin flying through the room at other class members? Two hundred renegade beads, twenty sweaty women…they wouldn’t stand a chance!

Imagine the wimpy waistband button turned lethal weapon after Thanksgiving dinner as it soars across the room and into your aunt’s eye. Consider a devilish cherry tomato escaping the point of the proverbial pitchfork and landing shamelessly on a plate across the table. Frightening scenarios, aren’t they!

None of us chooses to be noticed like this; no one wants to be so obvious. We prefer to be poised and dignified in social situations and, many times, in our expression of faith as well. Here’s a thought. Perhaps, we should choose to be bold when demonstrating our faith.

Rather than simply having an aura of Christianity surrounding us, maybe we should shoot for a neon sign effect. Instead of merely implying our belief, we should bold, highlight, and underline it for others. Shouldn’t we strive for more than just giving the impression that we are followers of Jesus? I think we should knock ‘em out with nuggets of faith. We should let our love for the Lord hit them between the eyes and land square in front of them. No doubt this is a challenge for all of us who wish to blend, but one that may be worth trying on, Friday and every other day of the week!

PRAYER: Father God, help me to boldly and courageously share my faith and Your Word with those that I encounter each day.

“And when they had prayed, the place was shaken where they were assembled together; and they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and they spake the word of God with boldness” (Acts 4:31 KJV).

Today’s devotion is by Hally Franz. Hally is a former teacher and high school guidance counselor, turned homemaker. She enjoys volunteering at her childrens’ school, teaching Bible classes at her church, leading projects in 4-H, writing, reading, scrapbooking, and rousing (though, sometimes, not pretty) Zumba classes.

Unidentified Flying Dog

April 17, 2019 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Sherri Holbert –

Imagine a soft ball of white, hyper fur who answers to the name Roxy. She was one of my favorite pets. She was a fluffy, spirited, extremely loving Eskimo Spitz. She was predictable. She had specific routines that she stuck to day after day. She loved to eat—a girl after my own heart.

Her morning routine at breakfast time was a sight to see. She looked liked a cotton ball on steroids running the 100 yard dash. The minute the garage door opened she would bounce off the front porch, fly at rocket speed around the corner of the house, bolt to the edge of the eight-foot-tall retaining wall, skid through the turn and cross the finish line with a catapulting jump off the low end of wall that landed her onto our driveway—very close to the food bowl.

One particular cold winter day, Roxy bolted out the door on her 100 yard food dash. Only this morning was different. A new twist to her dash soon caught poor Roxy’s undivided attention. A thin layer of black ice had carpeted the wall. As the song goes, “You can only imagine” the flying cotton ball on steroids in an instant had a new identity. She was now a spastic four-legged UFD (Unidentified Flying Dog). As she flew off the high side of the retaining wall her eyes were as wide as saucers! She was experiencing sheer panic as she tried to understand how to make four paws flap like wings of eagles.

Unsuccessful as a UFD, Roxy recovered from her brief identity crisis and by the next morning she was back to her typical self.

Roxy had her routines, things she did every day. I think we are the same way. We get comfortable in the fast paced secure routine of life. Sometimes, God has to send some “black ice” our way to get our attention. He changes our direction, gives us an unexpected circumstance and, yes, even sends us catapulting through the air in sheer panic. Why? So He can remind us of His identity and who we are in Him. He wants to shake us from our routines; our comfortable life, so we can experience His strength, His comfort, His presence.

So, whatever “black ice” you are experiencing today, just remember it is there for a purpose.

PRAYER: Father, thank you for the unexpected things that You bring into my life. Help me to seek You during my trials so I may become the person You desire me to be.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4 NLT).

Today’s devotion is by Donna McCrary and Sherri Holbert. As Life Coaches, they equip women to discover their life purpose. Learn more about their study DIVAS of the Divine: How to live as a Designer Original in a Knock Off World at: www.walkofpurpose.com.

Anit-wise Motion

April 16, 2019 by  
Filed under Daily Devotions, Humorous

By Robin Steinweg –

Dead ant, dead ant, dead antdeadantdeadant (sung to the Pink Panther theme). This is what goes through my mind when I enter my bathroom these days. That and some questions: why? Why are these ants in the bathroom when there’s no food? They don’t even seem to be looking for food. They appeared a couple of months ago from under the molding; aimlessly wandering in odd-shaped loops, then out of sight again—a perpetual, purposeless motion. In the past, they came into the kitchen in orderly troops, heading for crumbs on the floor. Not this time. I tried natural extermination methods first, without success. We’ve battled ants every summer for years, but I never think to have poison in the house.

I finally bought some. They lined up for it like piggies at the trough, gorging themselves. Some drowned, some staggered a few steps and expired, others faithfully carried the stuff back to the nest (I assume). I felt satisfied after they’d been gone awhile. The poison worked as it had every other summer. But the other day I noticed one tugging on something. And another. I looked closely. They were hauling the corpses of their fallen comrades to the middle of the bathroom floor, where they dumped them and returned to the molding. This went on all day. Hauling dead ants almost to my feet and dumping them off, as if they knew what they were doing—like a scene from a horror flick.

By now you are wondering what the spiritual application is. So am I! And if you are wise enough to find one from these erratic ants, would you please post it in the comments below for the rest of us?

All I know is that the Bible says to observe ants in order to be wise. Without overseer or ruler, they prepare their food in summer and gather it at harvest time. They plan ahead. I’ve been caught in last-minute panics and in an unprepared condition times without number for lack of planning. Unexpected visitors, sickness, people calling and needing to talk—or ants in the house—have brought stress or embarrassment to me and my family because I wasn’t prepared. I hope to be wiser in this way starting now. I’ll observe the ants. Just maybe not the ones in my bathroom!

PRAYER: Lord, You are the great Planner of creation and eternity. You planned our salvation in advance. You planned good works for us to do. You have plans to prosper us and to give us a future and a hope. You are even now preparing a place for us in heaven. I ask You for wisdom to be a better planner, able to learn Your wisdom even from ants.

“The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage” (Proverbs 21:5 NASB).

Today’s devotional is by Robin J. Steinweg. Robin’s life might be described using the game Twister: the colored dots are all occupied, limbs intertwine (hopefully not to the point of tangling), and you never know which dot the arrow will point to next, but it sure is fun getting there!

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