Paying the Price

By Lori Freeland –

A few weeks ago, I stood in line at the local courthouse; speeding ticket, driver’s license and proof of insurance in hand. While I waited, I sifted through all the possible explanations I could use to avoid parting with $162. On this particular Friday afternoon, the desk was short one clerk, and the line was long by about seven people. No doubt waiting was part of the punishment. Read more

Father’s Day (Part 2)

By Lori Freeland –

My hands shake. I lean against the bedroom wall, the phone pressed against my ear. Tears stream down my cheeks. I hate Father’s Day. Once a year, my heart is ripped out, leaving a hole that takes weeks to bandage. Why am I calling my dad today of all days? The last time we talked, it didn’t go so well. That was two years ago. Read more

Father’s Day (Part 1)

By Lori Freeland –

There were years I gave ties, years I gave tools—those were the good years. Then there were years I gave nothing—those were bad years. Read more

The Heart of the Beholder: The Power of God-esteem

By Lori Freeland –

Cool air streamed through the open window, cooling the cup of cinnamon coffee at my elbow. I extended my hand towards my laptop to chase away the screen saver, a photo of Alek and me in the backyard with the dog. I caught myself drifting quickly past the image of me to focus on my son. Not because I wished Alek would pass through the skater stage and get a haircut, but rather because I didn’t care to scrutinize myself too closely.

Read more

When Not Good Enough Screams Pride

By Lori Freeland –

Pride. That nasty thing that precipitates my downfalls.

When I hear the word pride, I think of times in my life when I’ve longed to be the center of attention, hogged the credit for a project, elevated myself above the rules, and walked my road alone—confident my way was best.

I don’t often attach the word pride to the idea of low self-esteem.

Who would? Low self-esteem equals humility. When I don’t believe I’m good enough, I’ve kicked pride in the backside. Right?

Maybe not.

What if by not believing in myself, I’ve committed my largest act of pride?

Look at it this way.

God isn’t stingy when He dispenses gifts. He isn’t stingy with talents and skills either. So what if He loaded your arsenal with everything He wanted you to be and you turned away, hung your head, toed the ground and said, “No thanks. You’ve made a mistake. I’ll never be good enough.”

That’s exactly what Moses did. He had an entire argument with God about why he wasn’t good enough. Read Exodus chapters 3 and 4.

Here’s the part near the end of their interchange:

Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.

Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him (Exodus 4:10-13 NIV).

Who was Moses to question God? Who I am to argue?

God gave Moses everything he needed to do His work.

Moses couldn’t see God’s provision through the reveal of the burning bush, his “live” conversation with the Master of the Universe, or the gift of Aaron.

Moses hung his head, scuffed his toe, and said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”

What does God want you to do for Him? What experiences and people and opportunities has he placed in front of you that you’ve ignored because of your low self-esteem?

Remember that catchy phrase? If God leads you to it, he’ll bring you through it.

Pride isn’t telling everyone why you’re not worthy.

Pride is being ungrateful for God’s gifts. Pride is turning from your talents. Pride is scorning your God-given skills.

If you’re a believer, it’s not really about self-esteem anyway. It’s about God-esteem.

He’s equipped you. Now go do the work.

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