Invaluable

By Janet Morris Grimes –

I realized the other day the year is more than half-way over, and I have made about $200 this year through my writing. Ironically, I have worked harder for that amount than I ever have for any amount in my entire life.

One odd venture was to transcribe old video tapes from The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Not just word for word transcriptions, but sound for sound, even when they talk over each other, all within perfect grammar and spacing.

Those comedians defined humor, but I struggled to spell Tim Allen’s grunting noises or Johnny Carson’s expressions. After hours and hours of reviewing those tapes, my hands were numb and my brain cells echoed each episode after scrutinizing the same show all day long. It is like an extended movie marathon, but with only one episode showing for eight hours at a time, and you can never turn it off.

In my past life, I was never one to make much money, but I could rest in the fact that the harder I worked, the more money I brought in. I knew how to be a good employee. I made a practice of going above and beyond the call of duty, and trusted that they paycheck would just take care of itself.

Life is very different now. In some ways, I feel as if I have been promoted, but without a pay plan.

But I know that God has a plan, and it involves me writing.

But it goes even deeper. His plan requires me to trust in him. His plan knocks me over with unexpected success on some days, while making sure I am prepared to be ignored and overlooked for long periods at a time on most of the others. His plan humbles me daily, causing me to question whether or not I am doing this right. His plan calls for me to show up every day and give Him my best effort, even when it feels like I am accomplishing nothing at all.

More than anything, His plan forces me to find my value in Him.

Because I have made about $200 so far this year, and I am exhausted.

The truth is that I am no longer worth what I was before.

Or, perhaps, I am more valuable than ever before.

I guess it depends on where I find my value.

BIBLE VERSE: “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come” (I Timothy 4:8 NIV).

Seeking His Face

By Janet Morris Grimes –

I love this particular phrase from the Bible. It is so visual; describing an intimate moment with a personal God–as if God himself tilts our face toward his, just in time to catch the twinkle of approval in his eyes.

But seeking His face is not a one time occurrence. It is much more than a fading moment. It is a way of life; an ongoing journey; the defining characteristic of who we are as Christians.

To seek His face is to seek His grace. To seek His face is to seek His will. To seek His face, we must trust Him to direct our paths, just as He promised to do. To seek His face requires us to be watching. Always. To seek His face is to rise above our circumstances and challenges, redirecting our focus away from ourselves and upward to His ability to handle our struggles in a way that glorifies Him in the end.

To seek His face, we must become like a young child, riding a bike for the first time and periodically checking back over our shoulder to make sure Daddy is still watching. We feel the need to keep him in our sight at all times. Like a toddler playing peek-a-boo with his father, we break into a fit of giggles each time our eyes meet.

True joy waits for those who learn to do this. To seek His face, we must constantly be looking upward, and there will be no mistaking the moments that God allows His face to shine on us.

PRAYER: Dear God, Thank You for allowing us to seek Your face, and for revealing Your love for us in return. Our souls crave that approval; we long to make You proud. Make Your face to shine on us, shielding us from the darkness that waits around hidden corners. With You, we can do anything. 

BIBLE VERSE:  “My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek” (Psalm 27:8 NIV).

 

Through the Valley

By Janet Morris Grimes –

It is difficult to see clearly from the valley. The path ahead is frightening; the path behind, too painful to look back. There seems to be no escape; the only way to get through it is to get through it. But with the end nowhere in sight, even that seems futile, at times.

It is in the valleys that we realize there are no shortcuts. You can’t bypass it. You can’t go around it. Perhaps that is why we find them so scary.

But God says not to worry. As a matter of fact, He knew there would be valleys. High points, countered by low points, blended together to form the timelines of our lives. He never promised it would be easy.

But what He did promise is even more gratifying. He promised to be there. Always. From start to finish. From our mountaintop experiences to the moments that literally drop us to our knees.

God appreciates the valleys, not because He enjoys seeing us in pain, but more so because He knows that is when we will be calling His name. In the valleys, He gets the chance to speak to us, one-on-one. And He knows we will listen.

It’s not that He chooses only to reveal Himself to us in the valleys; that is just when we seem to take notice. Finally.

So, whatever valley you may be traveling through, know that you are never alone. Treasure this time, claim it for growth, and keep moving toward the end. One foot in front of the other.

And if possible, be thankful for your valleys.

Because wherever God meets us is holy ground, even through the pain.

And maybe even because of it.

PRAYER: Dear God, Thank You for our valleys, for revealing Yourself to us during our darkest hours. Thank You for loving us enough to go before us, to prepare the pathway through it. Thank You for reminding us that we are not strong enough to handle the valleys alone, but that You are with us always. Your strength is more than enough. It is there, in Your capable hands, that we release our burdens unto You.

BIBLE VERSE: “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me” (Psalm 23:4 NIV).

Let Me Not Be Ashamed

By Janet Morris Grimes –

Sometimes I wonder if God giggles under His breath at my interpretations of His words. Those same words He so carefully chose, written by the messengers He so carefully chose, so that I would never be left in the dark.

He never meant for me to figure this life out by myself.

So when I try, it’s no wonder I get it wrong.

“Let me not be ashamed.” I’ve read these recurring passages throughout the book of Psalms hundreds of times, focusing, of course, on the parts that affect me the most.

My translation of this was simple, and somewhat selfish, so my prayers naturally followed suit.

“Dear God, Let nothing happen that might cause me embarrassment, or make a fool out of me. Keep failure far from my family. I have my pride, you know? And if it’s okay with you, I’d like to keep that and my reputation intact.”

Building a house on the slippery foundation of pride will ensure that it will come tumbling down around me, especially when I remain the focus of my prayers.

Recently, when life was not going particularly the way I hoped, I happened across this verse. Life was spinning out of my control, and I had difficulty finding the peace I so generously recommend to others.

“What if I end up making a fool out of myself?” I asked.

How is it that I claim to trust God with my life, but then provide for Him a list of parameters with which to work?

But then I’m gently reminded that the Creator of the Universe does not need my help, nor my parameters. He needs my trust, my submission, and more than anything, for me to surrender my pride; for me to quit worrying about what other people think of me and my family.

‘Let me not be ashamed’ might require me to get my hands dirty. It might require me to go willingly to places that might make me uncomfortable. It might require me to take risks, especially when failure is a strong possibility.

It might require me to take on the heart of God, so that the fear of embarrassment or shame no longer crosses my mind.

Because, when I think about it, my only goal is to give back to Him the life He first gave to me, to be used as needed.

Which means it should never have been about me in the first place.

PRAYER: Dear God, let us not be ashamed, nor be worried about anything that might bring us shame. Help us to see the world through Your eyes, so that our focus remains on You rather than ourselves. This is Your world, and that is all we need to know. Help us to rest in that,. We trust you with our happy endings. Teach us to trust you also then with our shame.

“I trust in you. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me” (Psalm 25:2NIV).

Finding My Answers on Father’s Day

By Janet Morris Grimes –

I often wonder how it went, that last week of his life.

The accident was on a Tuesday morning just outside of Memphis, TN. Daddy was in the passenger seat, taking his seatbelt off for a moment to reach for some books in the back seat. The brakes failed. Going through the windshield, he hit his head on a tractor-trailer parked on the side of the road.

Mom tells me he never woke up. His head shaved and swollen; his broken jaw was wired shut, making him unrecognizable.

My grandmother once shared that she knew they were in trouble when they moved the family to a private waiting room the following day. Her ‘mother instinct’ kicked in before the doctors delivered the news.

November 15, 1967

Cause of death: Severe Cerebral Contusion.

After piecing this together for the past 43 years, I know this part of the story well.

But it leaves a million unanswered questions.

What did he do for his 27th birthday, just a couple of weeks earlier?

What did he preach about for his sermon that last Sunday morning?

What did he say to Mom as he left that morning, and who called to let her know?

As a young girl, I hated the fact that I had no memories of my Daddy. The truth is that to this day, I would still give anything to have known him, to remember his voice, his touch, and the look in his eyes.

But I realized something through the years of this process known as grief; maybe, by having no memories of my own, God was somehow protecting me from the pain.

Because I was a baby, I never received the phone call that changed everything, nor did I suffer through a painful funeral, visit the crash sight, or see my Daddy so broken that he was unrecognizable.

Having no memories might just be a blessing. Because of this, I was free to be an innocent child. A child, who, for as long as I can remember, had only one goal; the goal of getting to heaven.

This week, especially, I have no choice but to think of Daddy in a way that rips my heart open.

It’s what stops me in my tracks the second I hear of someone else’s loss. It’s what draws me to all the other mommies and babies who lose their daddies. It holds me accountable and allows me to treasure the life and family that I’ve been given.

And for all of my unanswered questions, I believe I finally found an answer to my greatest one; the question that kept me awake at night for most of my life.

Dear God, Why couldn’t Daddy have lived?

The answer is on right in front of me, hand-written on his death certificate.

“Severe Cerebral Contusion.”

I fully believe now that God rescued my Daddy on that early Wednesday morning back in 1967.

He saved him by bringing him home, because that was the only way to completely heal him.

By doing this, God protected him from the pain, just like He did for me.

And now I understand what healing is all about.

PRAYER – Dear God, Be with the fatherless on this Father’s Day. Hold them close, and be their Father, just as You have done for me. Heal any broken relationships, and mend the hearts of those who are hurting. Thank you for Fathers, and for choosing us to be your children.

“A Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy temple” (Psalm 68:5 NIV).

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