Help My Unbelief

By Janet Morris Grimes-

I know myself well. So much so that it bothers me at times. I am well aware of my weaknesses. I spend more time with my flaws than I’d like to. And some days, I’d give anything to just snap my fingers and be rid of them forever.

Maybe you have felt this way.

But I have learned this much. My imperfections are magnified with each day I spend focusing on them. Anxieties, insecurities, guilt, regrets. The more power I hand over to these things, they more they take over my life.

I wonder what would happen if I got over my shortcomings and embraced the more abundant life God intended for me. I wonder if the reason I feel so alone is because God created me to be unique, and I will never be fulfilled until I am fully following His, and only His, plan for my life. I wonder what would happen if I took such massive leaps of faith that I have no choice but to let God carry me the rest of the way. I wonder if all along, He was just waiting for me to leap. I wonder if the only weapon Satan has left to use against me is myself.

Yes, I wonder.

What if I did the opposite of what comes naturally to me, each and every day? What if I got out of the way, recognizing that the less there is of me, the more of Him others can see? What if God is able to use these weaknesses to touch the lives of others? What if my weaknesses only serve as a spotlight to God’s strengths?

What if, by not believing in myself, I am actually saying to God that I don’t think He can do it? Can He really use me, in spite of myself?

There is a story in Mark Chapter 9 about a man who brought his demon-possessed son to see Jesus. He begs Jesus, in verse 22, “If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

If he can? Jesus challenges in verse 23, “If…? Everything is possible for those who believe.”

The heartbroken father answers in a painfully honest way, a way in which most of us can relate.

“I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24).

That is my prayer for each of us, that God will recognize our unbelief and strengthen us. We do believe. We want to. We hate the doubts, the regrets, the times we forgot to leap. Help our unbelief, and use us to touch a broken world.

Getting Rid of Spiritual Clutter

By Janet Morris Grimes –

Clutter is defined in several ways. Garbage. Unnecessary mess. Disorder. Confusion. It is the stuff no one knows what to do with, so it just piles up, expanding to fill whatever space it is allowed.

Entire television shows are based on how clutter steals the joy of a home. When left to its own accord, clutter takes over, to the point that it hides all that is beautiful; to the point that the mess is the only thing that can be seen.

During the last week of the life of Jesus, he was disturbed by the clutter he found in the temple. He hoped to find a quiet place of worship and prayer, but instead, he found a ‘den of robbers,’ shady characters who twisted the truth in an attempt to make a profit. He cleansed the temple, overturning the tables in a controlled fit of rage.

He had a right to be angry. Clutter cannot be ignored, and in order for the temple to serve its true purpose, which was to bring his followers closer to him and give them a place to worship once he was gone, he had to get rid of all that did not belong there.

The same is true for our spiritual lives. We hold on to bits of pieces of our past, the parts we aren’t sure what to do with, and we try to ignore them. But they accumulate and expand, soon overtaking our lives and keeping us from serving our true purpose. We end up carrying trash bags full of garbage with us wherever we go, wondering why we don’t feel free to worship and why we can’t sense the presence of God.

Here are a few ways to cleanse your own temple:
§     Forgive yourself and others – True forgiveness is the only act that frees you to move forward. Holding on to past hurts will damage you much more than the person who hurt you in the beginning. The only way your future can be better is by leaving your past in the past and getting it out of your temple. And as hard as it is to forgive others, it is much more difficult to forgive ourselves. Let go. Let go of the garbage, and make sure you are not your own worst enemy.
§     Free yourself from bad habits – Your body sometimes is a great reflection of how you feel spiritually as well. Treat your body with respect, and it will do the same for you. Strengthen you muscles and push yourself hard enough to grow.
§     Focus on Heaven – Most of what the world stays in an uproar about matters little in the end. Life is short and thankfully, it is not up to us to make sure the world is running properly. Paul said it best in I Corinthians 9:24, when he encourages us to “run in such a way as to obtain the prize.” The true prize is Heaven, and all that we experience between here and eternity are just preparing us for the reward of living with God, with Jesus by our side. Anything that doesn’t bring you closer to Heaven is simply not worth worrying about.

Our lives are meant for worship, and beauty, and growth, and anything that gets in  the way of this is clutter, and needs to be removed as quickly as possible. Only then can we find true peace.

I Corinthians 14:33 – For God is not a God of disorder but of peace…. (NIV)

Calling Out to God When No One Else is Listening

By Janet Morris Grimes –

There are few times in life when you may find yourself alone, all family and peer groups stripped away for a season. Life has a way of bringing us to this chasm that isolates us from the rest of the world. It may be a circumstance, such as the loss of a job or a negative diagnosis or test result you were hoping not to hear. It might be the death of a loved one, or a tough situation a child of yours may be suffering that leaves you certain that no one else in this would could possibly know how you feel at that precise moment.

But what I’ve found is that these are the moments we see and hear God most clearly. When He is all we’ve got left, with no one else to turn to, He reveals himself in the most beautiful of ways.

Think about it. The Bible is filled with such stories. Jonah-I’m quite certain there was no one else in the belly of that fish with him to point him in the right direction. Saul, who became Paul, but only after being blinded by the light. Blindness must have an immediate effect of making one feel alone. Joseph, who was beaten by his brothers, dropped in a pit, and then sold into slavery rather than being left to die. These stories demonstrate abandonment at its best. Or worst.

Jesus faced it as well, many times, but the difference was that He knew what was coming. In the Garden of Gethsemane, just before being turned over to the enemy to be led to his own crucifixion, Jesus asked his apostles to “watch and pray” but they were  too sleepy to even notice his anguish, even though He predicted his upcoming death numerous times.

Jesus shows us just how to handle those situations that knock us to our knees, leaving us in fields of abandonment. It was there, alone in the garden, that Jesus cried out to his Father like never before, referring to God as Abba, which means simply Daddy. And his simple prayer says it all.

“Abba Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me, yet not my will, but your will” (Mark 14:36) .

Jesus prayed for deliverance from his circumstances, and recognized that God had the power to change them. But He also accepted God’s will, knowing whatever He was about to face, He would never be alone.

The truth is that people let you down. Daily. And abandonment of any kind hurts us to the core. But it may be those moments when the world turns its back on us, that drive us toward God. He is always ready to meet us on the path, in the belly of the whale, or even in a pit, just as soon as we call His name. He is Abba, Daddy, the one who hears our cries no one else is listening.

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deuteronomy 31:6).

Launching Deeper

By Janet Morris Grimes –

We know what to do. We rely on our training and experience. We follow the rules, demonstrating proper protocol while banking on an expected result. But many times, our knocks on the doors of opportunity go unanswered, leaving us frustrated and searching for answers.

What happens when we do everything right but still have nothing to show for it?

Jesus had an unexpected answer for this dilemma. Technically, most of His answers were the opposite of what many thought they might hear.

Peter and his crew spent the night fishing. It is what they knew. They were the experts, and for whatever reason, the fish were not biting, even though all the proper procedures and techniques had been followed. The fishermen were exhausted, and were in the process of washing their nets to hang them to dry in defeat, for that day at least.

Jesus watched from a distance before using one of the vacant boats to speak to a crowd that had gathered around him.

He then said this to Peter, as captured in Luke 5:4 (NIV), “Launch out into the deep, and prepare your nets for a catch.”

Peter may not have agreed with that advice, but he knew enough about Jesus to listen. Perhaps Peter was trying to prove Him wrong. Perhaps he reacted out of gratitude for the fact that Jesus had already raised Peter’s own mother-in-law from the dead a short time earlier. Perhaps Peter was willing to follow through simply so he could spend more time alone with Jesus. Whatever the reason, his response is noteworthy.

“Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But, because you say so, I will let down the nets” (Luke 5:5 NIV).

Peter did not understand what Jesus suggested, but he followed anyway. The result was that Peter’s net became so full that he had to call in the back up boat for assistance. Soon, both boats were beginning to sink because of the great number of fish inside them.

The lesson is simple. Sometimes, Jesus tells us to launch deeper. Even if we are at our wit’s end. Even if we are out of ideas. Even if it makes no logical sense to do so. Even if Satan reminds us of past failures from the last time we tried to go deeper. Even if the economy is bad. Even if we struggle to find a job. Even if we wonder what we are accomplishing. Even if the world is going in the opposite direction.

What matters is that we learn to follow. To launch deeper, past the point of no return. Launching deeper means we can no longer see the shore. It requires us to depend on more than our own bearings, to change our course of action, along with our direction.

Going deeper usually demands that we do the opposite of what comes naturally.

And maybe that was the point of it all. Jesus had a way of going against the grain. He loves it when we have no choice but to trust Him, and Him alone. When we are literally in over our heads, only he can lift us higher.

And when He says to prepare our empty nets for a catch? Get ready, because the impossible and unexplainable will soon follow.

The Kid with the Loaves and the Fishes

By Janet Morris Grimes –

Even the occasional church-goer is familiar with this story. Mentioned in all four gospels, Jesus, distraught over the news that his cousin, John the Baptist, had been beheaded because of his beliefs, sought solace in a quiet place. He and his apostles boarded a boat to head across the Sea of Galilee, but the people, aware of his recent miracles, followed on foot, meeting him on the other side.

Jesus healed the sick among the vast crowd, then settled them down on the grass to teach them many things. After time, the crowd grew hungry, and the apostles advised Jesus to send them away, calculating that it would take six months’ wages to feed them all.

Jesus asked how much food they had available to them and received this answer from Andrew, “There is a boy here who has five loaves and two fishes, but what is the good of that for such a crowd?” (John 6:8).

Of course, Jesus proceeds to thank God, break the bread, and distribute it to the 5,000 men gathered there. The actual number fed that day is most likely closer to 15,000, taking into account the women and children. When all was said and done, they gathered up 12 baskets of leftovers, after the entire crowd had eaten to their satisfaction.

John is the only one to mention the source for the five barley loaves and two small fishes—a lad, a small boy.

As many times as I’ve read that story, I finally recognized the true hero, other than Jesus himself. The lad. We know very little about him, but we can gather these five things:
1) He heard the news.
2) He traveled alone.
3) He came prepared, ready to stay awhile.
4) He followed.
5) He offered all that he had to Jesus, and became an integral part of a famous miracle because of it.

The boy was there for a reason. I assume he traveled alone, that his mother prepared the lunch for him knowing he would be gone most of the day. He was willing to stay as long as possible, just to be close to Jesus. He answered the call for help, even though what he had to offer was miniscule compared to what they actually needed.

The first inclination for most would be to squander what they had, keeping it for themselves, maybe hiding behind a tree to eat it before it was discovered by the hungry masses. But this kid was willing to share, even if it meant he would go hungry. He could have easily saved it for the trip home, avoiding the eyes of the apostles as they searched for food.

I also imagine the crowd was getting restless, cranky and complaining because of the break in the action as Jesus spoke privately with his apostles about the problem. Most kids were probably whining, wondering when they could return home to their sand lot ballgames.

But not this kid. He brought all that he had to offer and laid it on the table before Jesus.

That is my goal for today—to be the kid with the loaves and the fishes. I want to go wherever Jesus happens to be, splaying down my meager offerings before Him, and then watching in amazement to see what He can do with them.

I can see this kid running home at full speed, empty lunch pail banging into his knees, saying “Mom, you just aren’t going to believe this…”

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