Banging Heads Against the Tree of Evolution

By Darren Marlar –

Five years of college – four credits.  School was not my best subject.  They held classes before eight in the morning.  How can anyone expect to learn anything that early?

When I did make it to class, I remember hearing my Biology professor, Mr. Knowsitall, claim that my great-great-great-great-grandfather was an ape. Read more

Shopping at Sky Mall

By Darren Marlar –

By the time you read this I quite possibly could be a TV star thanks to my February 19th appearance on Cornerstone Television Network’s “Focus 4” program.  Or I’ll still be a nobody, as I am now as I write this month’s column, sitting in a plane bound for home for Chicago after my TV appearance in Pittsburgh.
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And I Exited The Stage To the Song, “Blue Moon”

By Darren Marlar –

Avatar, The Blue Man Group, The Veggie Tales’ Ms. Blueberry, the shape-changing lady from the X-Men comics, that alien chick on “Star Trek” that Captain Kirk made the moves on… wait a minute, I think maybe she was green. Whatever.

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Failed New Year’s Resolutions

By Darren Marlar

January 1st – I resolve to read my bible in one year. Day one.

January 2nd – I read day two in my bible.

January 8th – Say, wasn’t I supposed to be reading my bible every day? Well, I guess I blew it. The whole year is a wash now.

That’s how it always happens. In January I promise I’m going to do 100 sit-ups a day, give up sugar, run five miles each morning, and contribute all of my spare change to those less fortunate while making time for eight hours of prayer every evening before bed. About three hours later I find out exactly how weak my resolve truly is when I hear the muffled sound of the vanilla ice cream calling me from the freezer. I try to ignore it, but end up failing. I give up and say to myself, “Oh well – maybe next year. Now where’s that chocolate sauce? Hmmm… a new episode of CSI is on tonight. Ooh, it’s an eight hour CSI marathon… sweet!”

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Failed New Year’s Resolutions

By Darren Marlar

January 1st – I resolve to read my bible in one year. Day one.

January 2nd – I read day two in my bible.

January 8th – Say, wasn’t I supposed to be reading my bible every day? Well, I guess I blew it. The whole year is a wash now.

That’s how it always happens. In January I promise I’m going to do 100 sit-ups a day, give up sugar, run five miles each morning, and contribute all of my spare change to those less fortunate while making time for eight hours of prayer every evening before bed. About three hours later I find out exactly how weak my resolve truly is when I hear the muffled sound of the vanilla ice cream calling me from the freezer. I try to ignore it, but end up failing. I give up and say to myself, “Oh well – maybe next year. Now where’s that chocolate sauce? Hmmm… a new episode of CSI is on tonight. Ooh, it’s an eight hour CSI marathon… sweet!”

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