Poor Me

By Charlotte Riegel –

I love to read, for myself, not just to engage a two year old. I love to relax with my crafts, alone, but am often interrupted by a youngster pleading for my help with a puzzle. By the time the children are settled for the night and the house is tidied for the morrow I’m too tired to read for personal pleasure or to do much of anything but go to bed. I know ‘this too shall pass’…something I have drummed into my children as they whine or complain about challenges facing them. Ah yes, now I must prove to myself and others these words apply to me as well as to those I challenge to buck up, dig in, and persevere all the while looking for anything that resembles the positive.

I had eagerly offered to help a family wrestling with health issues when anticipating a few weeks away from my regular routines. Then complications set in. Weeks beyond what had been originally considered for recovery time I slog on, remain positive and encouraging in the presence of others, yet fight to overcome feelings of ‘poor me’. I long for some ‘me’ time.

My thoughts often drift to thinking of Jesus coming to earth. He left so much behind, yet we are told he took no thought of Himself. He willingly ministered to others and taught about the Kingdom of God even when fatigued. Sometimes He snuck away to rest and to spend time with His Father and even then the crowds and His followers often found Him. When they did, He put aside His needs and desires, lifted up the fallen, healed the sick, and taught those who clung on His every word. I wonder if He got homesick for heaven and His Father? Did He ever long for more ‘me’ time away from the crowds? Did He ever feel exasperated by the disciples’ lack of understanding even after He lived what He taught and explained the Kingdom over and over and over? Yet He did not grumble or complain.

Prayer: Father God, I long to please You in all that I do. Forgive me for being selfish when others need my help. I desire to shine Your light of grace and mercy to the world I live in. Thank you for all the examples Jesus gave while living among us.

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life” (Philippians 2:14-16 NIV).