Killer Carpet

By Janet Morris Grimes –

“Here. I will lift up this bunk bed, and you unroll the carpet underneath.” I knew when I uttered those words that our method would never work, but there were only the two of us, and it had to be done.

My oldest daughter and I were in the process of helping my youngest daughter move into her dorm for her first semester of college. The furniture was already in place. Even the clothes in the drawers. But we discovered the well-hidden truck that sold rolls of carpet nearby, and decided that carpet was what the room lacked.

The problem, first and foremost, was that the smallest roll of carpet was still too large for the room. Secondly, the brand new furniture was rather heavy. But perhaps because we were a bit loopy from too many trips up the stairs and the late night packing party from the previous night, we were determined to make it work.

In a perfect world, the room would be empty, then the carpet installed, then the furniture placed on top of it. But we weren’t in a perfect world. We were in a dorm room with pre-existing furniture and the hallways too crowded with others moving in to move anything out there.

So, with a borrowed box cutter, we started the process and quickly proved that we had no carpeting experience. It was too heavy to push or pull more than an inch at a time, and ripped out the majority of our fingernails within the first couple of minutes. Thankfully, the left-behind nail particles blended in with the carpet, so we moved on.

There was no place to put the drawers but on the bunk beds, making them even heavier. Inch by inch, we scooted the carpet underneath and cut around the odd shaped column that protruded from the wall. We nearly severed an arm at the elbow, ripped a shirt, and laughed until we cried, but soon, the floor was mostly covered and the crooked parts remained hidden.

Mission accomplished. Until we tried to open the closet door.

Only then did we discover that the carpet was too thick. The door and the floor could not coexist peacefully with the carpet in between them.

So, out came the box cutter and we cut a huge square out in a spot that could never be hidden.

And our shoddy work is now obvious to everyone who enters.

There is something to be said for doing things in the proper order with careful planning in advance. Those who choose to do otherwise pay the consequences.

Lesson learned and still recovering.