Finding My Answers on Father’s Day

By Janet Morris Grimes –

I often wonder how it went, that last week of his life.

The accident was on a Tuesday morning just outside of Memphis, TN. Daddy was in the passenger seat, taking his seatbelt off for a moment to reach for some books in the back seat. The brakes failed. Going through the windshield, he hit his head on a tractor-trailer parked on the side of the road.

Mom tells me he never woke up. His head shaved and swollen; his broken jaw was wired shut, making him unrecognizable.

My grandmother once shared that she knew they were in trouble when they moved the family to a private waiting room the following day. Her ‘mother instinct’ kicked in before the doctors delivered the news.

November 15, 1967

Cause of death: Severe Cerebral Contusion.

After piecing this together for the past 43 years, I know this part of the story well.

But it leaves a million unanswered questions.

What did he do for his 27th birthday, just a couple of weeks earlier?

What did he preach about for his sermon that last Sunday morning?

What did he say to Mom as he left that morning, and who called to let her know?

As a young girl, I hated the fact that I had no memories of my Daddy. The truth is that to this day, I would still give anything to have known him, to remember his voice, his touch, and the look in his eyes.

But I realized something through the years of this process known as grief; maybe, by having no memories of my own, God was somehow protecting me from the pain.

Because I was a baby, I never received the phone call that changed everything, nor did I suffer through a painful funeral, visit the crash sight, or see my Daddy so broken that he was unrecognizable.

Having no memories might just be a blessing. Because of this, I was free to be an innocent child. A child, who, for as long as I can remember, had only one goal; the goal of getting to heaven.

This week, especially, I have no choice but to think of Daddy in a way that rips my heart open.

It’s what stops me in my tracks the second I hear of someone else’s loss. It’s what draws me to all the other mommies and babies who lose their daddies. It holds me accountable and allows me to treasure the life and family that I’ve been given.

And for all of my unanswered questions, I believe I finally found an answer to my greatest one; the question that kept me awake at night for most of my life.

Dear God, Why couldn’t Daddy have lived?

The answer is on right in front of me, hand-written on his death certificate.

“Severe Cerebral Contusion.”

I fully believe now that God rescued my Daddy on that early Wednesday morning back in 1967.

He saved him by bringing him home, because that was the only way to completely heal him.

By doing this, God protected him from the pain, just like He did for me.

And now I understand what healing is all about.

PRAYER – Dear God, Be with the fatherless on this Father’s Day. Hold them close, and be their Father, just as You have done for me. Heal any broken relationships, and mend the hearts of those who are hurting. Thank you for Fathers, and for choosing us to be your children.

“A Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy temple” (Psalm 68:5 NIV).

Hidden

By Heather Arbuckle –

An over-scheduled weekend was behind us and bedtime was fast approaching. With Marty at a business dinner, I was outnumbered 3 to 1, and in the middle of my best delivery of zone defense. Hoping to clean the kitchen and still maintain our regular bedtime routine, I sent the kids into the den to watch a little TV.

Moments later, my middle daughter, Lily, emerged with a perplexed look on her sweet face. Immediately, I stopped what I was doing as tears began to fill her big brown eyes. As I listened to her heart, I realized bedtime was going to have to be briefly postponed. A teachable moment was upon me, and the world would not wait.

Rather than the “innocent” programming I anticipated on a children’s network we watch regularly, my children had come upon a show about the world’s differing religious views. “How can they not know Jesus, Mommy? How do they not see?” Lily asked in pained bewilderment. As her words penetrated my heart, I was gently reminded that “your eye is the lamp of your body.” (Luke 11:34) Lily’s faith-filled eyes see her beautiful Savior so easily. How I wish it were so for us all. Sadly, that is not the case.

By now my two other gifts from Heaven had joined us, and all eyes were on me. I took my children into my arms, grateful that God had chosen me to be the one to lead them to the Cross. Each of them accepted Christ as their Savior at an early age. None of my precious children can recall a time when Jesus wasn’t a trusted friend on whom they could call. His love has never been hidden from their lives.

Hoping to speak some perspective into my troubled child’s heart, I spoke gently and prayed for wisdom. “Lily, sweetheart. This is a family who believes and truth is all around you. Scripture teaches us that Jesus is the only way to eternal life, and that the gift of grace is ours to receive freely.” I continued, “Never forget that even when Jesus walked among us, there were few who could truly see their Savior in their midst. Sometimes life gets too dark for some to see.”

For some, the truth is hidden. It was true then. It is still true today. The Bible teaches us “When your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness. See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness.” (Luke 11:35-36) Jesus Christ, alone, is the light that leads the way to salvation. Still, many do not see.

Today, our world is growing ever darker as all of creation groans in the fallout of sin. This world is broken. By poverty. Injustice. Greed. Pride. It is a world gripped by the consequences of sin. As Christ followers, we must have eyes to see the world as it is. But, then we must have courage to share the love of Christ with those whom the truth remains hidden. For “blessed are your eyes because they see.” (Matthew 13:16)

Heavenly Father,
We praise You for the gift of eyes that see truth. Because of Christ alone, we are free to approach you boldly, as your adopted sons and daughters. Let us have compassion and patience with those who are blind to the Son. Give us courage to share the truth about who Christ is, so that others may see.
-Amen

Reflection: Is there someone in your midst from whom the truth is hidden?

Aging and Fitness: Finding Balance

By Don Otis –

Life is full of surprises; unknown twists and turns that affect our health, our finances, jobs, and even our relationships. The one certainly is that getting older levels the playing field of life. Whether you are 35 and pine for the days when you could run like the wind, or 70 and wish you could climb a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing, age makes a difference in our abilities and performance.

In past columns I have stressed key points of fitness such as consistency and intensity. Our tendency is to start and stop diets and fitness routines. We have talked about the importance of finding a physical activity you enjoy and making it a regular part of your week. In other words, making an appointment with yourself and sticking to it.

 

There are so many studies and statistics and so much marketing that it’s easy to get caught up in all the confusion about what to eat or not to eat. I am not a nutritionist, and I am the first to admit it. Still, most of us know what’s good for us or not-so-good. I believe the Bible teaches us the importance of moderation and balance in all areas of life. As I have aged, I notice my muscles don’t recover as quickly. After a hard workout, my quadriceps can be sore for a couple days. That never happened in my 20s, 30s or even my 40s. Now, however, it is part of what I have come to expect so I take protein shortly after most workouts to help muscle recovery.

If you are active, you have noticed some other issues—shrinking muscles and lack of elasticity. In other words, stretching becomes vital you age. And for those who have back problems, learning to lift properly (use your legs, not your lower back), can make a difference. For lower back strain, focus on building your core—the part of your body that gets the least amount of attention. By building your abdominal (stomach) muscles, you give support for the upper body which often overcompensates when put under a physical workload.

It comes as no surprise that as we age our metabolism changes too; it decreases. We burn fewer calories in simple everyday chores. In a country where almost 70 percent of men are overweight or obese, igniting your “engine” (metabolism) through activity is not just a good idea; it will determine your longevity. And our children are no better off. For children who are obese at age 20 (defined as 30 pounds or more above normal weight), their lifespan is cut by an average of 13 years.

As Christians we know that this world is not our home. Except for Enoch and Elijah, I know of no one who has cheated death. The time we spend on this sphere is short and making the most of the equipment God has given us is an act of stewardship. Accept that your body is always changing and make it part of your life to accept what you can’t change but to make the most of what God has given you.

Devo Spiritual Growth-Rubik’s Cube

By Elaine James –

Rubik’s cube was invented in 1974 by Hungarian sculptor Erno Rubik. Although it is widely reported that the Cube was built as a teaching tool to help his students understand 3D objects, his actual purpose was solving the structural problem of moving the parts independently without the entire mechanism falling apart.

As a professor of architecture, Erno Rubik invented the little toy for his purpose of teaching and it ended up going all over the world and has sold over 350 million to date.

In the Scriptures, David spoke these words to his son, “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever” (1 Chronicles 28:9, emphasis mine).

Reading this verse, I could not help but notice the words “willing mind.” What does it take to have a willing mind and wholehearted devotion? It is a committed choice that the focus of our mind will be on the Father.

These words bring to mind a Rubik’s cube, because to complete the puzzle, and get all the colors in order, one must deeply focus. Think about it. When you do any sort of mind puzzle, you must focus 100%, taking all the distractions of life out of your mind to concentrate on the puzzle.

David was commissioning Solomon to build the Lord’s temple. He used the same words that God says to each of us; the work He has in mind for us will require a willing mind.  He then asks us to cooperate with Him.

If you notice negative thoughts creeping into your mind, what do you choose to with those thoughts? Do you just follow wherever they lead, or do you choose to focus on God and invite Him into the situation. By praying prayers of thanksgiving, rejoicing, praising and petitions you allow God to renew your mind. This is your spiritual act of worship.

Rubik’s cube can give you a temporary reprieve from your thoughts, but God can give you everlasting relief and peace that renews your mind.

PRAYER:  Today I praise you and thank you. I choose to focus on you and give these thoughts to you. Thank you for peace. I wait on you. In Jesus name.

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you” (Romans 12: 1 – 2 MSG).

Slightly Irregular

By Darren Marlar –

Hey, congratulate me… I just turned forty! (Two years ago.)

They say life begins at forty. Turns out they lied. As soon as I turned forty I started losing my hair (finding it on my butt).

I’m near-sighted and far-sighted. I’ve got eyebrows that look like tree branches. I have psoriasis on my cheeks (both sets). I’ve got high blood pressure, high cholesterol, acid reflux, hemorrhoids, irritable bowel syndrome, a toenail that looks like a Frito…

And my friends wonder why I get cranky? Really? How can you not be in a bad mood with irritable bowel syndrome? It’s right there in the name!

“How are you feeling?”

“Irritable!”

I’m both near-sighted and far-sighted. That means I can’t see things far away and I can’t see things up close. Isn’t that just blind? If you want to have a face-to-face conversation with me you have to be exactly three paces away.

As for losing my hair, I don’t think they should call it hair loss. That kinda makes it sound like it’s your fault that it’s gone, doesn’t it? Like somehow you’ve misplaced it? “Honey – have you seen my hair?! Well, it was right here on the back of the toilet lid!”

I see TV commercials promising a full head of hair – but then I see the side effects. Bad breath, body odor, tongue fungus. I saw this TV commercial that said, “Is Benephyne right for you? Ask your doctor.” But they didn’t say what Benephyne was for. It MIGHT be for hair loss, but it might be for excessive belly-button lint or elephantitis of the arm pits.

So I was at the doctor’s office and I asked, “Is Benaphyne right for me?”

“Well, Darren,” he said, “that’d be a question for your gynecologist.” So I have an appointment next Tuesday.

My mom says I’m “slightly irregular.” What she means is I’m not perfect. I wish she’d just say “not perfect,” because “slightly irregular” makes it sound like you’ve got a colon problem. Slightly irregular sounds like you’re seventy-percent off on the clearance rack.

But we’re all slightly irregular… and still, God has a plan for you anyway. We tend to think of ourselves as puzzle pieces: irregularly shaped with odd markings. Some of us, such as myself, are morbidly obese puzzle pieces. Painted pale. (If I was any whiter I’d be clear.) Puzzle pieces with no perceivable talents other than making people laugh and patronizing restaurants with all-you-can-eat buffets.

Others are smaller pieces, with different attributes, skills, and talents. But we are all equally important to completing the puzzle. No matter what the picture on the puzzle, the entire thing is worthless if even a single piece is missing, right?

God takes us, in the exact form we are, places us into the puzzle, and it turns out we aren’t slightly irregular. We’re perfectly irregular! We fit exactly into the hole God placed us in. We were perfectly shaped after all!

In fact, no other person who ever lived before you or who will ever live after you can fill that hole in the universe as perfectly as YOU can. That’s why God created YOU. He loves YOU that much. YOU are that important to HIS ultimate plan.

Jeremiah 1:5 says, “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb… Before you were born I set you apart.” Do you know what that means? Even before you were conceived, God knew one day you’d be slightly irregular! He knew you would eventually become torn, ripped, ruffled and stained. But His stains cover yours, making you brand NEW.

And that’s something to remember the next time you feel out of place or useless. Or the next time you’re doing a puzzle. Or the next time your mother calls you names.

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