Forgiveness is a Choice
February 6, 2019 by Bruce Hebel
Filed under Daily Devotions, Life Topics
A misconception I often hear regarding forgiveness is it can take a long time. The thought process goes something like this: the deeper the wound, the longer it takes to recover. Minor offenses can be forgiven quickly, but major offenses can take years to process and forgive. I’ve even heard certain offenses describe as “unforgivable.” But is that really true? Is the speed of forgiveness determined by the depth of the wound? I think not.
Forgiveness is a decision, not a process. When we view forgiveness as a process, we link it to the offense. When we link forgiveness to the offense we place ourselves in the position of having to rank offenses, which requires our focus to remain on the offense. However when we view forgiveness as a decision, we move the focus off of the offense, and it loses its power over us. That certainly was true for Amanda.
Recently, my wife was asked by a friend if she would spend some time with fifteen-year-old Amanda. Toni could not help but notice how emotionless Amanda’s eyes were. As Toni listened to her story, she understood why. A few months earlier, a family member brutally beat and raped her. Amanda was clearly devastated. She said, “I have no capacity to receive love or give love. I’m just dark inside.” Yet, just after 20 minutes of working through God’s process of forgiveness, Amanda chose to forgive her perpetrator and several other people that God brought to her mind. She validated her forgiveness by praying a blessing on everyone that she had just forgiven. What happened next was remarkable.
Amanda’s once empty eyes were now full of joy. “I feel light inside. I am a new person. I have hope!” When Toni introduced her to me I would never have known that she had been wounded. She was immediately free even though she’d experienced one of the worst things a 15-year-old young lady could go through.
We have found that the more decisive we are in our forgiveness, the quicker we find freedom. Forgiveness is a choice. Choose it today.
PRAYER: “Lord, I choose to forgive _______ from my heart for ________. I declare they are no longer in my debt. Bless them Lord.”
“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses,” Matthew 6:15 KJV.
Today’s devotional is by Bruce Hebel, Pastor of ReGen Fellowship in Tyrone, Georgia, Adjunct Professor at Carver Bible College, and President of ReGenerating Life Ministries. He is a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary and has served in ministry for over 35 years.
Wow! I have never thought of forgiveness from that prospective! Definitely the way God has meant it to be!
I love what you have to say about forgiveness. I believe you speak the truth.
I want to add a comment about the perspective of forgiveness being a process when there has been a deep wound. Sometimes when looking back forgiveness does appear to be a process. I was raped as a 17 year old and I needed to forgive the rapist multiple times, not because forgiveness wasn’t real the first time but because my understanding of the wounds received changed as I moved forward in a healing process. The first time I prayed forgiving him, I forgave the betrayal of his violent actions against me. Years later, I realized that I had blocked out the effects of the rape, so I prayed again. That time I forgave him for causing me physical and emotional pain through rape. Years later, I prayed again realizing that nothing could separate me from the love of Jesus Christ, but that my rapist was living in a way that separated him from God. I asked God not to hold my rape against this young man. Each time I purposefully forgave. Each time the forgiveness was real. Each time was a step forward in my healing and a growth step in my relationship with God.
Forgiveness frees us and it is no shame to need to forgive someone multiple times as our perspective changes with the help of our merciful God who is patient with us and knows what we are made of. Forgiveness is God’s command and it is his response to sin. We glorify him when we forgive in the peace and love of Christ Jesus.
Thanks again for your well thought out article on forgiveness.
Bruce, this is a teaching that needs to be shared with the body of Christ! It’s a lot to chew on. What you are describing is a supernatural act. We have a supernatural God.