I Resolve To Learn How To Cook

January 8, 2019 by  
Filed under Humor, Stories

By Jodi Whisenhunt

A few years back, my teenage niece wanted to know how to make some basic meals and asked for a few emailed suggestions. That request evolved into a spiral bound collection of 150 appetizers, entrees, desserts, and drink ideas from ten families, complete with photographs and tales of recipe origins.

Well, since my niece doesn’t eat all that much and her mom hates to cook, the book, although bound beautifully, just collects dust on their shelf. I, however, have found it to be kitchen stress relief. While several of the listings could win me a spot on “The Next Iron Chef,” here are a few that might not.

I have to roll my eyes at the very first recipe in the book, Breakfast Egg Casserole. Since my mom has passed on and I know she won’t be reading this, I can tell the truth about this dish: No one likes it! In the book, Mom described it as “an excellent dish for Christmas morning breakfast or brunch.” She heartily believed that and therefore made it every Christmas morning for about ten years in a row. The real reason my siblings and I stopped gathering at Mom’s on Christmas morning as adults wasn’t that we had families of our own and traditions of our own to begin, it was that we didn’t want to eat that casserole. (Sorry, Mom.)

Continuing to the sandwich section, we find Dad’s Famous Burned Weenies with PB & Mayo, a delicacy from my husband’s childhood. You see, back in the day, his dad was a single man on a limited budget, so he made the best with what he could find in the pantry. I have tried this, um, creation, and it isn’t nearly as repulsive as the name suggests.

The dessert page in the table of contents got inserted backward during the binding. If you, like me, have resolved to lose weight this year, you might think that maybe we don’t need dessert anyway, but that’s where Ken’s Special Chocolate/Coffee Brownies are located, right there on page ninety-three.

Way back in the twentieth century, circa 1980, when my family got our first microwave oven, Mom discovered brownies baked up well in it, so she asked my brother, Ken, to try a recipe that called for instant coffee. He didn’t read the recipe correctly, though, and instead added two tablespoons of regular coffee grounds. Since no nuts were added, the strange crunch surprised us when we sampled the goodies, but it was so good that it’s now a family favorite.

So, as you bumble your way around the kitchen this year, don’t worry. Not all recipes work out. Don’t hesitate to get creative, though. God said, “Everything that lives and moves will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything” (Genesis 9:3). Besides, you never know what dish of yours might become a family tradition.

Jodi Whisenhunt is a freelance writer and editor in McKinney, Texas, whose services can be found at www.jodiwhisenhunt.com. Feel free to contact her at jodi.whisenhunt@att.net if you’d like to receive the above recipes.

About Jodi Whisenhunt

Jodi Whisenhunt is a Christian wife, mom, homeschooler, writer, editor, kid taxi, very tired person who is blessed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. She is an Amy Writing Award recipient and the Senior Content Editor of The Christian Pulse. Her highly acclaimed Magical Mouse Schoolhouse (http://www.magicalmouseschoolhouse.com) shows kids how to learn while they play when Disney IS school.

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