The Blame Game
By Carin LeRoy -
I like to play the blame game in my marriage. My husband tells me I always find a way to fault him for something.
“Are you coming? We’re going to be late,” he’ll say.
“I’m coming, but since you didn’t show me how to work the alarm clock, I got up late” (not that I should have read the directions).
“When can you sew the button on my pants?”
“I can’t find the button, where did you put it?” (even though he gave it to me when he asked me to sew it).
After over 30 years of marriage it’s now become a joke between us. I can always find a way to blame him for something—as ridiculous as it may be. With a roll of his eyes he’ll say, “Well I knew it had to be my fault.”
Well, if I’m full of blame, then he’s full of excuses. He can find an excuse for anything.
“Is there a reason you threw the paper and wrappings all over the garage floor instead of just putting it in the garbage right here,” I’ll ask.
“The lawn mower was in front of the trash can. (Really? Why not push the mower over?)
“How come you didn’t ask if I wanted a little rice pudding, too?”
“Well, you looked pretty content.” (But why not ask?)
I think our little traits go way back to the Garden of Eden when we read God’s questions to Adam and Eve in Genesis 3.
“Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat?”
Excuse from the man: “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” (Where was your responsibility in putting your own mouth around that fruit?)
Then the Lord said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
Fault-finding from the woman: “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” (Excuse me, but didn’t you pick the fruit and disobey what God said?)
It’s an age-old problem – laying blame and giving excuses. It started the day man and woman chose to sin. We see how mankind has been affected by those beginning days in the garden. In part, my husband and I joke about it in our marriage. But in serious situations, assigning blame or making excuses can have grave consequences. Learning to humble ourselves under God’s mighty hand by admitting our mistakes and wrong behavior will bring healing and peace in our relationships. God will be pleased, too.
PRAYER: Lord, help me to take responsibility for my actions. Excusing my sin or blaming others is not pleasing to You. Give me humility and help me to recognize and admit my mistakes in order to create harmony and peace in my relationships.
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3 NIV).