Campus Security

October 12, 2011 by  
Filed under Humor, Stories

By Emily M. Akin –

“You’re not walking back to the dorm alone after 11:00 p.m., are you?” Mom’s face scrunched up with worry.

“Yeah, that’s not a good idea,” Dad agreed.

“Oh, it’s OK,” Jenny said. “Don’t worry. Some of the guys walk back to the dorms with me. No one leaves the building without an escort.”

Like all parents of female freshmen at large universities, these parents were concerned about their daughter’s safety, particularly walking on campus at night. The “panic” buttons posted on utility poles along the walkways were no comfort. Jenny had told them she went to the church-related student center every evening to study with friends. Most nights, she stayed until it closed at 11:00 p.m.

It was parents’ weekend, and the student center was hosting a lunchtime cookout for parents. To ease their minds, Jenny had promised to introduce Mom and Dad to some of the young men who served as late-night campus escorts.

“Mom, Dad—this is Harry. He’s one of the guys who walks us to the dorms at night,” she said.

Dad smiled, although, at the same time, his mouth dropped open. Simultaneously, Mom’s eyebrows shot skyward. Harry, who was all of 5 feet 2 inches tall, extended his left hand in greeting. This was necessary because his right arm sported an enormous cast.

Dad, speechless and wide-eyed, pulled Mom aside as soon as he could without being rude. “Is he supposed to be the bodyguard?” he hissed. “Why, he’s not as big as she is! What’s he going to do? Whack the attacker with that cast?”

“Please!” Mom shushed him. “Contain yourself.”

“Well, for Pete’s sake, Jenny could beat him up herself—with one hand tied behind her back,” Dad said. “He might be useful as a witness, but that’s about it.”

I wonder if God has the same reaction when He sees us cooking up some of our clever schemes. He may mumble to himself about how that won’t work. But, God loves us, so He lets us do our own thing.

About Emily Akin

Emily M. Akin is a freelance writer, blogger, and church musician living in northwest Tennessee. She holds degrees in music, communications and business. She writes articles and devotions for Christian periodicals and serves as editor of the Seniors Today section of a local lifestyle magazine.

Comments

4 Responses to “Campus Security”
  1. Cass Wessel says:

    Giggle. As a parent I can totally relate to the father in your story. The lesson you drew, caused me to wonder if God does really “mumble”… I do, but I’m not too sure God does… thunder maybe… or whisper in a still small voice… but mumble? You got me thinking.

  2. Dianne says:

    I loved it, Emily.

  3. Pat Rowland says:

    Great story, Emily. Sounds like your dad had a nice sense of humor.

  4. Dianne says:

    How many times have I made God mumble like that?! I think I hear Him mumbling now…

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