By Heather Allen-
My Bible stretches across my femur and knee. The sun streams onto its pages, eyes closed and opening at the whistle of an oriole, I think about the words. The rays lighting my face are laced with confession and sorrow.
I could label myself a doomer, or possibly one set on a wall as a watchman. I am not sure it matters. I just know the urgency has not died down. I am grateful for time, restive before my maker. I hold my hand out, take His and we walk for a bit. We trace the places I have gone and the words spoken. I look at Him quizzically. What is at the root of my behavior? My head would hang if He were not grace.
Like the hemorrhaging woman who grabbed Jesus’ robe, I know He is the only way to be healed. Amazing that He dwells within. And as I am honest about my internal corruption, He heals me too.
My little guy is pretty witty, and tonight he made a particularly clever observation. He said, “Mom, the Bible says you should not drink blood and it is really rude that mosquitoes do not obey.” After my amusement died down an unpleasant reality hit, nearly every other tween to teen book at Barnes and Nobles is about vampires. Interspersed are books about fallen angels. Do our kids know what God’s word says about these things? Do they know that Leviticus address drinking blood, or that vampires have always been entwined with demonic practices? Fallen angels are the ones who rebelled against God, and their future is hell. Can we view the occult and sin as entertainment and remain unaffected?
This is a conversation I am having, mulling over what should be apparent and different. It has been humbling. And I fear God so it has also been a bit scary. But I wonder why I cannot fill my car without the gas station playing songs that detail infidelity. Scripture tells us to flee sexual impurity. But the songs are there, even when I grocery shop. I think we are being lulled.
There are many writers and preachers whose words litter my journal. But the unfortunate truth is I don’t get to stand before Jesus with them in tow and point stammering, “I just listened to them. No, I do not really know You, but hey I can tell You a lot of cleverly worded ideas about the Bible and what they meant to my favorite writer”. I do not think we have the luxury of questioning everything in scripture, including hell, while accepting everything in our culture. I also do not think we have the luxury of being ignorant about what God’s word says. We may be very culturally relevant but are we holy?
There is nothing in this life that even touches the moments I have spent in God’s presence, soaking in His word. If you cannot relate to that, know this, He desires more for you. Being set apart may be lonely. You may be the only one you know who lives differently. But beloved, every step you take in denying yourself and following after Him will be well worth it. Better to lose your life for His sake than to gain the world and lose your soul.