By Nina Medrano –
“O GOD, You are my God, earnestly will I seek You; my inner self thirsts for You, my flesh longs and is faint for You, in a dry and weary land where no water is” (Psalm 63 AMP).
These past few months Texas is experiencing record drought. Churches across the State are holding gatherings to pray specifically for rain. Even secular News announcers and Meteorologists are asking folks to pray for rain. And, still no rain. On a spiritual level, I, too have been experiencing a spiritual drought-an emptiness that has left a deep crater within me, a longing for the Lord.
I searched for Him in the Scriptures and did not find him. I searched for him in prayer and did not find him. Like the Shulamite woman, I sought him in my private heart chamber, I sought him in church, meetings and prophetic camps, but I did not find him (Song of Solomon 3).
Everywhere I searched I caught only whiffs of His fragrance where I knew he had been but I had just missed him. Oh! My heart cried for Him even more.
An old memory rises from the depths of my soul: I had worked very late one night and was returning back to campus where I attended Bible College. I was travelling on Central Expressway in Dallas, Texa,s and in the privacy of my car I said to the Lord, out loud, “I love you so much that it hurts to be here!” I was not expecting to hear a response. But, immediately, I heard the Lord laugh and say, “Oh! How I delight in your love for me!” It was the first time that I had ever heard the Lord laugh. He has a beautiful laugh-hearty and full of melody. To hear him respond to my aching heart was so shockingly real that I burst in tears and cried all the way back to my dorm. This happened over thirty years ago.
Last night I was restless–not even TV could fill my void. Unable to sleep, I went to my closet. I pulled out and dusted off my guitar from my college days. I began to re-tune the guitar strings– stretching the cords, back-n-forth, beyond the tension of their present setting until all cords sang harmoniously.
The guitar was not the only thing out of tune. My fingers lacked the rhythm it once knew with the strings. Then, I discovered that my voice was out of tune with my heart. Painstakingly, I pressed on over and over until my fingers began to hurt and stiffen from un-use .In my frustration, I cried, out-loud, to the Lord, “I AM LONGING!”
I sensed a gentle prodding to go on.go on and say what it is I am longing for.
“I long for you.”
“I long to hear your voice.”
“I long to see your hand of power.”
“I long to speak your Word and see it perform miracles”
“I long to swing my sword and slay your enemies as in the old days.”
“I long to see hearts radically changed by your Word.”
Suddenly, a song broke forth, like a dam, rushing waters from heaven
spilled into my soul, filling my spirit and making me whole.
Now, I wonder. Why hasn’t the Lord released the rains in Texas? What is he waiting on? Is he waiting on us to seek him wholeheartedly?
“‘If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,’ says the LORD” (Jeremiah 29:13-14 NLT).