Help My Unbelief
By Janet Morris Grimes-
I know myself well. So much so that it bothers me at times. I am well aware of my weaknesses. I spend more time with my flaws than I’d like to. And some days, I’d give anything to just snap my fingers and be rid of them forever.
Maybe you have felt this way.
But I have learned this much. My imperfections are magnified with each day I spend focusing on them. Anxieties, insecurities, guilt, regrets. The more power I hand over to these things, they more they take over my life.
I wonder what would happen if I got over my shortcomings and embraced the more abundant life God intended for me. I wonder if the reason I feel so alone is because God created me to be unique, and I will never be fulfilled until I am fully following His, and only His, plan for my life. I wonder what would happen if I took such massive leaps of faith that I have no choice but to let God carry me the rest of the way. I wonder if all along, He was just waiting for me to leap. I wonder if the only weapon Satan has left to use against me is myself.
Yes, I wonder.
What if I did the opposite of what comes naturally to me, each and every day? What if I got out of the way, recognizing that the less there is of me, the more of Him others can see? What if God is able to use these weaknesses to touch the lives of others? What if my weaknesses only serve as a spotlight to God’s strengths?
What if, by not believing in myself, I am actually saying to God that I don’t think He can do it? Can He really use me, in spite of myself?
There is a story in Mark Chapter 9 about a man who brought his demon-possessed son to see Jesus. He begs Jesus, in verse 22, “If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”
If he can? Jesus challenges in verse 23, “If…? Everything is possible for those who believe.”
The heartbroken father answers in a painfully honest way, a way in which most of us can relate.
“I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24).
That is my prayer for each of us, that God will recognize our unbelief and strengthen us. We do believe. We want to. We hate the doubts, the regrets, the times we forgot to leap. Help our unbelief, and use us to touch a broken world.