10 Common Mistakes in Relationships
By Julie Morris –
Are you having problems in a relationship but can’t put your finger on what’s wrong? See which of these mistakes you’re making:
1. It’s His Fault—Joe is so busy playing the blame game with his boss that he doesn’t pay attention to things he’s doing to contribute to the problem. Do you ever play the blame game?
2. I’m Out Of Here—Mark doesn’t like his wife’s nagging so he works late every night, and tunes her out when he’s home. Do you withdraw either physically or emotionally from people rather than address the problem directly?
3. I’m An Exploding Volcano—Judy thinks it’s not very Christian to be angry so she stuffs her feelings toward her husband until she has more than she can hold. Then she explodes like a volcano and tells him all the horrible things she’s been thinking…and then some. Do you ever stuff your feelings until you explode?
4. I’m Her Holy Spirit—Dick feels that it’s his job to judge his wife, tell her when she’s wrong, and direct her every step. Do you try to take the Holy Spirit’s place?
5. If Only He’d Change—Brenda believes that she can never be happily married to her workaholic husband. She spends hours every day watching soap operas and reading romance novels to escape her emptiness. She is so stuck in her “if onlys” that she does nothing positive to deal with her problems. Do you live in the “if onlys”?
6. I’m Good Because I’m Submissive—Joann has a terrible fear of confrontation. She’ll do anything to keep from having an argument. She rationalizes her wimpiness to confront her husband’s ungodly behavior by calling it “submission.” Do you make excuses not to confront wrong behaviors?
7. He Deserves It—Mary’s boss is making her miserable. He piles more on her than she can do, complains constantly and never gives her a compliment. She gossips about him to anyone who will listen and does sloppy work to get even. Do you do unbecoming things and excuse them because of what others do to you?
8. If You Don’t Hear Me, I’ll Talk Louder—George has a real temper. If his 10-year-old son can’t understand when George explains his homework, he screams the instructions at him. Do you scream at someone, rather than trying to explain in a clearer way what you’re trying to say?
9. Here, Let Me Fix You—William only means to help his grown daughter with his constant stream of unasked-for advice, but he is alienating her instead. Do you feel compelled to give advice?
10. I’m Busy Doing God’s Work—Maryann teaches two Bible studies and is president of the women’s ministry at her Church. Her husband and children feel like they’re not as important to her as the things she’s doing. Do you treat your loved ones like your work is #1?
Look back over these mistakes and identify the ones you’re making. What are some things you can do to change? You’ll be amazed to see the blessings that come when you invest just a few minutes a day thinking about these things and praying for God to give you the willingness and ability to relate in a better way.
Adapted from Guided By Him…to a Thinner, Not So Stressed-Out You, by Julie Morris.
Julie Morris (firstname.lastname@example.org) is the author of 12 books, a dynamic motivational speaker and founder of two Christian weight-loss programs: Step Forward (www.stepforwarddiet.com) and a lighter and easier version of Step Forward, Guided By Him (www.guidedbyhim.com).