I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream
By Teresa G. Lusk –
“Shut the door! Give her back her toy! I told you to stop playing and to sit down!” These are all common screams our children often receive from their parents. Yes, even Christian parents.Fact is, there is a universal plague of screaming abilities parents often have but it is defective. God didn’t intend for us to yell at our children every time they annoy us with their whining or lack of obedience. Yet a large percentage of parents do this daily and even several times a day.
So many parents suffer from guilt and shame that they so easily loose control. Recently a mother reported that she felt like a horrible parent because she yells at her girls and other moms, specifically Christians, do not. It was a delight to enlighten her! Another reported she enjoyed the relief it provided for her.
Either of these responses can become unhealthy. Is it best that we not yell at our kids? Of course! And keeping control of our own emotions enables them to learn the ropes for dealing with those who will push their buttons too. Obviously, self-control is really put to the test in our character when dealing with screaming but it is something we can learn to deal with.
For one, talk to your spouse or someone who is around you most of the time about your desire to stop screaming. Let them know it is not a response you are proud of and you are willing to take steps to stop that behavior.
Thought it may not be easy, ask your spouse or support partner to give you a signal reminding you of your new commitment when you are in the middle of a screaming moment. No, you may not take it personally if they have to do it often. When you really want to stop a behavior, accountability is a must.
Commit to yourself that you will stop right in the middle of a sentence if you realize you are screaming and step away from the room or situation. Self-control is often accomplished by our own will, desire, and determination to cease taking part in unhealthy choices.
Fourthly, apologize to your kids if they are old enough to understand it. Inform them that you do not like yelling at them and would like to stop even though it is hard.
Finally, ask the Lord to give you the strength and grace to accomplish this which pleases Him. If you fail, it is OK. Start over. If you feel you have done all you can do to control this and it has not ceased, seek counseling.
Teresa G. Lusk is the author of Good Enough to be a Homemaker and CEO, a Motivational Speaker and founder of the non-profit organization, Homemaker CEO. Teresa has a Bachelor of Science in Psychology, Religion, and Christian Counseling. www.teresalusk.com or www.homemakerceo.com